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  1. #81
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    In today's society, unless there is a diagnosed medical (mental) issue.... If a woman doesn't want FOB present at the birth I really would question that relationship and whether or not the two should have been reproducing in the first place.

    If a man cracks up after witnessing his partner giving birth there were probably issues in the relationship to start with and it was only a matter of time before ...splitsville happened anyway.
    I can only speak for myself but my relationship was great.
    Ex was very into my pregnancy. He spoiled me, was very kind, was still very physically attracted to me. Got right into the baby shopping, went to ultrasounds etc.
    My birth was graphic and not straight foward.
    During the birth he was supportive, he put on a brave face and all that.
    But it wasn't till later that he admitted he has blocked it out.
    I ripped pretty bad and the doctor took about an hour to fix it all up.
    DP saw the whole thing.
    He really tried to keep it together for months but things just went from bad to worse.
    After we broke up he apologized a million times, he said he doesn't understand what happened.
    Ex tried to get back together with me after over a year but I can't do it. The memories are never going to go away.
    Sometimes I get so angry and say all the things everyone in this thread says but then I realize it was beyond his or my control.
    Its a shame really we where great together and we both love each other.
    But I can't be with a man who doesn't find me sexual attractive. I think that hurts the most... Vain I know but such is life.

  2. #82
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    Default Men shouldn't be present at birth.

    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    In today's society, unless there is a diagnosed medical (mental) issue.... If a woman doesn't want FOB present at the birth I really would question that relationship and whether or not the two should have been reproducing in the first place.

    If a man cracks up after witnessing his partner giving birth there were probably issues in the relationship to start with and it was only a matter of time before ...splitsville happened anyway.
    I have a good friend who's DH didn't want to be there for the delivery, he paced in front of the birthing suite, he is kind of old school and a stress head, she choose to have her sister with her as she thought she would be a better support person, recently for their second child he was there they knew she'd have a csection, they had the curtain thing up and he saw nothing.
    I don't think either of them is mentally ill, and he is actually a great father, and they seem to have a stable marriage.

    Your statement is generalising as much as the old dude from the article.

    The problem in the 'olden days' was you were not permitted to have your partner with you, the problem today is your expected to have him there.
    Geeez what ever had to choice?

  3. #83
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    Default Men shouldn't be present at birth.

    Quote Originally Posted by sparklebug View Post
    I have a good friend who's DH didn't want to be there for the delivery, he paced in front of the birthing suite, he is kind of old school and a stress head, she choose to have her sister with her as she thought she would be a better support person, recently for their second child he was there they knew she'd have a csection, they had the curtain thing up and he saw nothing.
    I don't think either of them is mentally ill, and he is actually a great father, and they seem to have a stable marriage.

    Your statement is generalising as much as the old dude from the article.

    The problem in the 'olden days' was you were not permitted to have your partner with you, the problem today is your expected to have him there.
    Geeez what ever had to choice?
    Im not necessarily saying either of them are mentally Ill. I'm saying there is something wrong there under the surface. Either with their relationship and/or with the man involved (perhaps to include mental issues).

  4. #84
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Im not necessarily saying either of them are mentally Ill. I'm saying there is something wrong there under the surface. Either with their relationship and/or with the man involved (perhaps to include mental issues).
    What makes you think that?

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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    I don't think so!
    No, I didn't think so either.

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    Default Men shouldn't be present at birth.

    I wonder if his partner shares his opinion?? Personally of be upset if mine had left me like that.

    I don't like his blanket statement. In birth, one size does not fit all.

    I had an emergency c-section with DS and I would have been far more worried/nervous/upset without DH there to support me. DD was an elective and I still would t have wanted to do it without him there.

    My favourite memory of each birth is looking at him when we first heard each baby cry and we both had years in our eyes and big goofy smiles on our faces. It is such an amazing, magical moment when your baby arrives. Why should a father have to miss that if he wants to be there and the Mum wants him there??

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    Default Men shouldn't be present at birth.

    Oh, and as for his comment about us being the only animals who have the father there, well that's because most fathers in the animal kingdom would either try to kill or eat their baby given half a chance!!

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    Personally I would prefer that my births are women's business, but I am really not one to tell others what they 'should' or shouldn't be doing with their own lives (unlike this OB).

    I really do believe that a lot of men hinder the birth because of all of the intervention. My DP has a very protective side to him and I would imagine somebody doing things to my body unecessarily or without my permission would really stress him out. I do believe if births could go back to being more gentle we wouldn't have so many traumatised mothers and fathers.

    i wonder what the writer of this article has to say about the bonding hormones released in men who witness the birth of their babies?

  9. #89
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    In today's society, unless there is a diagnosed medical (mental) issue.... If a woman doesn't want FOB present at the birth I really would question that relationship and whether or not the two should have been reproducing in the first place.

    If a man cracks up after witnessing his partner giving birth there were probably issues in the relationship to start with and it was only a matter of time before ...splitsville happened anyway.


    I could respond to that but I'd probably get myself banned. So I'll just bite my tongue and leave it at that, and hope that you get sick of BH sooner rather than later.

  10. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Hollywood For This Useful Post:

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  11. #90
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    London is offline “I think we're losing our sense of humor instead of being able to relax and laugh at ourselves" - Betty White
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    On "One Born Every Minute" a couple weeks ago there was a Russian couple having a baby. The woman kept telling her husband to go away and go out and he had to go wait in the other room. He kept coming in (the mother of the pregnant lady kept inviting him in) and he was offering to help her by asking her if she wanted anything or wanted her back rubbed....she just kept throwing him out. After she had the baby he came in and looked at it and just looked sooo stunned and speechless. He wasnt in there long and didnt get to touch it and she threw him out again.
    It was just their 'way'. I felt soo incredibly bad for him because he clearly wanted to be a part of it and help his wife and she refused to let him be a part of it. I understand thats how 'they' do it but it still looked sad.


 

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