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  1. #101
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    Quote Originally Posted by Californication View Post
    Oh, and as for his comment about us being the only animals who have the father there, well that's because most fathers in the animal kingdom would either try to kill or eat their baby given half a chance!!
    Or they just don't have much of a "family unit," to begin with anyway. The Mum gets randomly impregnated, and then goes off an has her babies/lays her eggs on her own. There was no real "relationship," with the male to begin with... not like with humans.

  2. #102
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    In mammal family groupings such as horses, lions and dolphins there is a relationship between the male and the female but the female still prefers seclusion to give birth. Even with birds that mate for life and the male helps to rear the young the female still lays the eggs alone. I think this is what he was getting at with that bit and that at least is truth. I dont agree with all of it but this bit is fact.

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  4. #103
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    Default Men shouldn't be present at birth.

    Tildy if you don't want your partner there then that is absolutely your right.

    For me, the thought of not having him there makes me panic.

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    Personally I don't think lady seahorses should be allowed around when the men give birth :P

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    Default Men shouldn't be present at birth.

    Human pairs have all sorts of complex bonding hormone interactions during pregnancy and birth.

    For example, men who are present at birth and who live in close proximity to their partner after she has given birth have lower testosterone and higher levels of nurturing hormones.

    Tildy if you don't want your partner there at the birth that is absolutely your right.

    I need mine there, without question.

  8. #106
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chew the Mintie View Post
    Human pairs have all sorts of complex bonding hormone interactions during pregnancy and birth.

    For example, men who are present at birth and who live in close proximity to their partner after she has given birth have lower testosterone and higher levels of nurturing hormones.

    Tildy if you don't want your partner there at the birth that is absolutely your right.

    I need mine there, without question.
    Sure, you need him there for personal emotional and support reasons. But Tildy us talking about the science, not her personal ferlings... and personally I find it very interesting .

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  10. #107
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    Actually as my post earlier in this thread states. I very much want my partner there. I cant imagine a better scenario then for him to be present and a willing part of it all. But if he is going to freak out or pass out it will be a hinderance because I'll be too busy worrying about him to concentrate the way I need to.

    As my above post states, I disagree with most of Odent's blanket statements on this one but he is right in one thing. Most animals give birth alone. Even the male seahorses . For them it represents safety. I am not saying that humans are exactly the same. I merely stated that he was right in that one point.

    The spin off thread I created in the mens section was to hopefully draw out the guys POV as I am genuinely curious and wasnt sure if they would want to venture into this debate if they didnt feel like they could attend thier child's birth. I love hearing everyone's points of view and the reasons why. It helps me understand people better.

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    Quote Originally Posted by London View Post
    On "One Born Every Minute" a couple weeks ago there was a Russian couple having a baby. The woman kept telling her husband to go away and go out and he had to go wait in the other room. He kept coming in (the mother of the pregnant lady kept inviting him in) and he was offering to help her by asking her if she wanted anything or wanted her back rubbed....she just kept throwing him out. After she had the baby he came in and looked at it and just looked sooo stunned and speechless. He wasnt in there long and didnt get to touch it and she threw him out again.
    It was just their 'way'. I felt soo incredibly bad for him because he clearly wanted to be a part of it and help his wife and she refused to let him be a part of it. I understand thats how 'they' do it but it still looked sad.
    Oooooh I remember that episode!!! He looked so sad and helpless.

    I don't think there is a blanket statement. There are some men who are amazing during labour and end up catching the baby, there are some men who are freaking useless (dad who spent 8 hours asleep on a recliner in birth suite and then went home because he was tired and missed the birth I'm looking at you) and there is every man in between.

    There are plenty of mothers, mother's in laws, sisters, best friends, cousins, hairdresser's daughters best mate who are present at people's births who are a hindrance and affect things the process of labour.

    The best thing is for each INDIVIDUAL women to choose her support people that she wants at her birth and for them to want to be there to support her not because the woman or her support people feel that they are socially obligated to. Whether she chooses her partner, her mother, a best friend or no one it is up to her and absolutely no one else has the right to say that that person should or shouldn't be there.

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  13. #109
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    Default Men shouldn't be present at birth.

    Quote Originally Posted by London View Post
    On "One Born Every Minute" a couple weeks ago there was a Russian couple having a baby. The woman kept telling her husband to go away and go out and he had to go wait in the other room. He kept coming in (the mother of the pregnant lady kept inviting him in) and he was offering to help her by asking her if she wanted anything or wanted her back rubbed....she just kept throwing him out. After she had the baby he came in and looked at it and just looked sooo stunned and speechless. He wasnt in there long and didnt get to touch it and she threw him out again.
    It was just their 'way'. I felt soo incredibly bad for him because he clearly wanted to be a part of it and help his wife and she refused to let him be a part of it. I understand thats how 'they' do it but it still looked sad.
    I felt incredibly sad for this father who so desperately wanted to be involved and help.

    I do understand for some cultures this is the 'norm' while labouring/birthing. However her rudely telling him to go away AFTER the baby was born was truly horrible. It was his daughter too and he ha every right to look at her as well - so sad

  14. #110
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pesca77 View Post
    I felt incredibly sad for this father who so desperately wanted to be involved and help.

    I do understand for some cultures this is the 'norm' while labouring/birthing. However her rudely telling him to go away AFTER the baby was born was truly horrible. It was his daughter too and he ha every right to look at her as well - so sad
    I know, it was afterwards that was really upsetting. He didnt have any chance to connect with the baby in those first moments. So sad.
    I will admit though, me and DP were laughing when he asked if she wanted him to stroke her back and she replied "No Viktor, I do not want you to stroke me anywhere" ...it was mean but with her accent and everything it was kind of funny. DP said he will mention it during my birth to lighten the mood.

    But yes, overall it was a sad situation and we felt so bad for him.


 

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