In mammal family groupings such as horses, lions and dolphins there is a relationship between the male and the female but the female still prefers seclusion to give birth. Even with birds that mate for life and the male helps to rear the young the female still lays the eggs alone. I think this is what he was getting at with that bit and that at least is truth. I dont agree with all of it but this bit is fact.
Tildy if you don't want your partner there then that is absolutely your right.
For me, the thought of not having him there makes me panic.
Personally I don't think lady seahorses should be allowed around when the men give birth :P
Human pairs have all sorts of complex bonding hormone interactions during pregnancy and birth.
For example, men who are present at birth and who live in close proximity to their partner after she has given birth have lower testosterone and higher levels of nurturing hormones.
Tildy if you don't want your partner there at the birth that is absolutely your right.
I need mine there, without question.
Actually as my post earlier in this thread states. I very much want my partner there. I cant imagine a better scenario then for him to be present and a willing part of it all. But if he is going to freak out or pass out it will be a hinderance because I'll be too busy worrying about him to concentrate the way I need to.
As my above post states, I disagree with most of Odent's blanket statements on this one but he is right in one thing. Most animals give birth alone. Even the male seahorses . For them it represents safety. I am not saying that humans are exactly the same. I merely stated that he was right in that one point.
The spin off thread I created in the mens section was to hopefully draw out the guys POV as I am genuinely curious and wasnt sure if they would want to venture into this debate if they didnt feel like they could attend thier child's birth. I love hearing everyone's points of view and the reasons why. It helps me understand people better.
I don't think there is a blanket statement. There are some men who are amazing during labour and end up catching the baby, there are some men who are freaking useless (dad who spent 8 hours asleep on a recliner in birth suite and then went home because he was tired and missed the birth I'm looking at you) and there is every man in between.
There are plenty of mothers, mother's in laws, sisters, best friends, cousins, hairdresser's daughters best mate who are present at people's births who are a hindrance and affect things the process of labour.
The best thing is for each INDIVIDUAL women to choose her support people that she wants at her birth and for them to want to be there to support her not because the woman or her support people feel that they are socially obligated to. Whether she chooses her partner, her mother, a best friend or no one it is up to her and absolutely no one else has the right to say that that person should or shouldn't be there.
I do understand for some cultures this is the 'norm' while labouring/birthing. However her rudely telling him to go away AFTER the baby was born was truly horrible. It was his daughter too and he ha every right to look at her as well - so sad
I will admit though, me and DP were laughing when he asked if she wanted him to stroke her back and she replied "No Viktor, I do not want you to stroke me anywhere" ...it was mean but with her accent and everything it was kind of funny. DP said he will mention it during my birth to lighten the mood.
But yes, overall it was a sad situation and we felt so bad for him.
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