You are in no position to make such claims about another couple, and to be honest I'm not sure why you'd even want to. Is it so important for you to defend your own choices that you must attempt to decimate those who make different ones?
mama and her little bearxxx (28-12-2012)
If one half of a couple (who havent previously experienced a traumatic labor), before labour even starts, says "i dont want you to be there" or "i dont want to be there" then I doubt how close they really are.
If the woman can't trust the man to be supportive and do what he is told during labor then how will they handle other life crisis? Can she trust him to support her in other times of need? If she is worried about hubby seeing embarrassing things then I would question how close they are.
If a man is worried about the gore then how will he react if there is an accident in the home?
If the couple are worried about their sex lives suffering then they musnt have a solid relationship of trust and friendship to start with. Either that or there is some type of inequality in the relationship where the man is master of the home and his sex needs are paramount .
If its a hard, traumatic, complicated, gory labor and both decide the hubby should leave then fair enough, both gave it a crack.
If its a routine labor and hubby wants to leave I really would question his ability to be supportive in other aspects of their life.
If a man has a genuine phobia or fear of hospitals then fair enough but I would also then question his ability to be a supportive parent and hubby.
I trust my DP to be supportive, overly supportive actually..which is why if I had my way I would birth with women only. I agree with a lot of your sentiments vicpark, but I don't necessarily think relationships are doomed if a man doesn't wish to be present or his wife doesn't wish him to be present depending on what that reason is. My DP has said he would struggle through watching me have a caesarian and, honestly, under what other circumstances is he going to have to watch me have surgery? What is the point of having some pale, fainting man in the room? Which is what a friend of mine does when she gives birth but still insists on going lol.
For the record I'm not afraid to go against the majority myself. But I do try to curb my judgment of other people's relationships; these are something I can't possibly understand and therefore cannot judge.
I don't believe all women need support during birth, I do believe that having someone around when you want to be alone can hinder the birth process. Look at a lot of animals that give birth alone, vets know that disturbing birth can lead to complications which is why they tend to leave animals alone when they are well (see my link from Sarah Buckley) what are your thoughts on hormone disturbances during labour/birth?
As for hormone disturbances during labor. I'm not sure. I think it's a mental thing, being in the right frame of mind. I'm sure hormones play some part, just undecided as to the extent.
Hmm interesting he says this because my longest labor was 45 minutes and my ex missed it.For her, his presence is a hindrance, and a significant factor in why labours are longer, more painful and more likely to result in intervention than ever.
My shortest labor was 7 minutes and my husband was there and such a great help. He has never seen a baby born and to be tossed a leg and told to hold this and then watch the whole birth he did very well. I had a rule that he had to stay by my head because I was worried that actually seeing the baby being born would traumatize him well once the dr got him involved he saw everything and said it was the most amazing experience he has ever had, he had no different feelings towards my body, myself or sex. He got to cut the cord and after she was cleaned up got first hold it was an awesome experience for all of us. I am glad they let fathers in.
I am sure that it effects everyone different but saying men are a hindrance is a bit off IMO
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