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  1. #1
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    Default Sister vent

    Im over my sister and her bull****. She has a mental illness which aparently means you can do whatever you want!
    She chose not to come to christmas yet shr rings mum about 6 times a day to talk about ****! She manipulates mum with crap about her illness and says "you never want to talk to me".
    I told mum I didnt want DS to have anything to do with her (long story). Then today I hear mum saying she will give her pics oh DS.

    They are best friends and i am probaby jealous that she lives with mum and I see sbout twice a year but the time is filled with gone calls from her. Im tempted to cut mum off if this continues.
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  2. #2
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    You don't seem a very patient, tolerant person. (That's going to sound funny coming from me, but...)
    Your sister is more vulnerable, more dependent on her family, than you - and there's no way around that. I think if you were to research her condition a bit more - and not just in a medical book, I mean spending more time with her, being a carer, or at least a sympathetic ear - you'd get a different point of view.

  3. #3
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    I do think you need more empathy for your sister.... but I also know what it's like to be close to someone with a MI. It's really tough and I think everyone feels for the sufferer but not those around them that have to deal with the fall out of the illness. It can be hurtful, frustrating and exhausting.

    But I wouldn't cut your mum. She's just trying to be there for your sib. Maybe expressing to her you feel you miss out on her time and effort may help?

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  5. #4
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    Default Sister vent

    You could talk to your mum about it and the way you feel. That might help.
    I'd prob just concentrate on your little family and just go with the flow.
    Don't get caught up in your sisters stuff, u have your own life to live.
    I also have quite a needy sister. I acknowledge that she has her issues and will always b there for her for advise or for someone she can vent to but I'm also very removed from her problems.
    They r hers, not mine. I have my own family and can't take that on board.

  6. #5
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    Default Re: Sister vent

    I understand that my post comes off as *****y but after 10 years of these issues and a lot of emotional issues and counciling for all of us. I made the decision not to be burned anymore and removed myself from the situation. She was always put first in the family and I was always there to pick up the pieces to only have it shoved back in my face so sorry if I sound heartless but my priority is my son now.

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    A ex close friend of mine had a pretty severe MI that went unmedicated (she refused to take meds) for a majority of our friendship. By the time I cut her I was seriously on the verge of a nervous break down So I understand your reasoning

  8. #7
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    Default Sister vent

    Quote Originally Posted by youmake3 View Post
    I understand that my post comes off as *****y but after 10 years of these issues and a lot of emotional issues and counciling for all of us. I made the decision not to be burned anymore and removed myself from the situation. She was always put first in the family and I was always there to pick up the pieces to only have it shoved back in my face so sorry if I sound heartless but my priority is my son now.

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    I get how you have to put your son first and this is probably how your mum feels about her daughter/your sister and her having a mental illness. Don't punish your mum and cut her off before communicating really clearly with her regarding your wishes with your DS.

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    Default Re: Sister vent

    I know I would never do it but I wish I was respected as a parent
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  10. #9
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    Default Sister vent

    Quote Originally Posted by youmake3 View Post
    I know I would never do it but I wish I was respected as a parent
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    Totally get it, when you feel her feelings take priority over yours. Having someone with a mental illness in the family is exhausting. Keep setting you boundaries and give yourself distance when you need it.

  11. #10
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    Default Sister vent

    Quote Originally Posted by youmake3 View Post
    I know I would never do it but I wish I was respected as a parent
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    Totally get it, when you feel her feelings take priority over yours. Having someone with a mental illness in the family is exhausting. Keep setting your boundaries and give yourself distance when you need it.


 

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