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  1. #1
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    Default Comments about extended breastfeeding

    Hi everyone, this is a minor issue but is really bugging me.
    I bf my 8 month old and my Mum keeps asking me how long am I going to feed him for. She has asked this question of me about 7 times and I have tried different responses but she continues to ask.

    My mum ff and really cannot identify with bf. In the beginning she said that she was proud of me bf etc. but every chance she got she pushed the idea of ff to me and DH, it was quite upsetting. There was always a barrier to me bf in her mind..currently it is teething/biting. Previously it was my supply and how demanding it was on me.

    I will be spending some time with her and really dont want this to be an issue. How should I handle this? (I always thought I would wean at 12 months but now I am happy for DS to self wean!)

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    We are still in very early stages (3 months) but my answer is always "umm at 15 or 16, otherwise it starts getting a little weird", that normally shuts people up .

    My serious answer is when one or other of us decides it's time. Some days I'm ready to quit lol but it will happen when the time suits the two of us and no one else.

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    I'm on the same boat! Except my mum keeps telling me my milk is not "substantial" like over time the nutrients disapear and I should start giving solids only to DD. She didn't breastfeed so I'm telling myself she hasn't got a clue... Like she keeps giving DD water and last week I nearly got mastitis because DD wasn't feeding as much as usual...
    I've been telling her different things like "I don't know", "15,24 months", "when she's ready" "they recomend 24 months" or "why would I? It's good for her" nothing worked she did it again the other day! I just brush it off now I just can't keep explaining it... There's so much involved like if I was to stop I would be in pain too! It's better to let them self wean, and its also working as a natural contraception (we want another baby and this is nature making the gap between babies manageable) also why would I want to deal with a cranky baby on boob withdrawal when it arms nobody? And why on earth would I want to sever the wonderful bond I feel I'm creating when I feed her? Argh!!!! I wish I could MAKE her understand!!! Sorry ure in this spot too!

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    Default Re: Comments about extended breastfeeding

    What is it with our mothers and formula? They seriously still believe it's better than bm. Certainly formula has improved and if you can't bf you have to ff but if bf is going well why would you change it! For my mother ff is all about routine and longer sleep periods - she thinks demand feeding is evil and leaving a 7 week old to cio in a cot on his own is ok. Oh and lets not even talk about sids recommendations...

    When I mentioned feeding beyond 6 months I may as well have said high school We just have to grin and ignore and come here to get support!

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    Last edited by Waggers70; 26-12-2012 at 04:18.

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    Default Re: Comments about extended breastfeeding

    My mil was asking when I'd wean when ds was 12 months, but I'm guessing someone she spoke to about her strange dil told her about the benefits i had mentioned.

    she didn't say anything negative about him bfing when i put 3year old ds on the boob after surgery! I think she was grateful i could calm, comfort and silence him as the anaesthetic was wearing off.

    Spent from my dome. Excuse autocorrect
    Last edited by Izy; 26-12-2012 at 09:17.

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    Default Comments about extended breastfeeding

    The comments drive me nuts too.

    'Are you *still* feeding?' from FIL's partner. What sh1t me at the time was, I'd known that woman for like 2 mins, I certainly wasn't asking her for her opinion or advice.

    My own mother tells me, 'might be time to give her a bottle,'
    'She'd probably take a bottle,'
    She says these things all the time! Dd2 is only 7 months. I'm not complaining about feeding her, she's a baby, leave us alone. Be proud of me, your daughter, for being a good mummy, doing what's right for my girls, my family and myself.

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    Default Comments about extended breastfeeding

    Posted before I was finished. Also wanted to add, when I'm around negative people, I bf in private. I kinda pretend I don't bf, I just sneak away and hide, cause I'm so sick of negativity. I'm sick of doing that. Wish I could say something to shut them up for good, be proud of my ability to bf.

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    Default Comments about extended breastfeeding

    I used to get these comments a lot. Tried all the sensible answers but didn't seem to stop them. I think that on some level if you a choosing to bf longer than your mum did it makes them feel like they failed you....so they encourage you to wean and some sort of validation that they did the right thing...I'm sure this is all subconscious though.

    Anyway, since sensible wasn't working I started responding, "I'm sure we'll wean by the time he gets his drivers license...."

    Haven't had anymore comments since then 😉

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    mrswhitehouse  (26-12-2012)

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    Default Re: Comments about extended breastfeeding

    These comments have started for us and DS is only 5 months. Thankfully they are from my childless friends as my mum bf for 2 years for each of us and probably could have gone longer.
    A friend of mine has actually told me that if you bf too long they dont develop their own immune system because they just live off yours. I judt smiled and said oh really I thought it was the opposite.

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    Default Re: Comments about extended breastfeeding

    After bfing 3 years with jasper and 9 months with katelyn my gut reaction is tell them to go f themselves.

    But as you can imagine I copped heaps - commencing at 6 weeks. From having my choices questioned, told I need to wean or I'll be feeding until he's 6 to being shrieked at by my mil that I had to wean.

    Now I tell people I plan to breastfeed in line with world health organization recommendations a minimum of 2 years and I'll wean before 4 years.

    So far so good I've only told that to curious friends & family (who know how long I fed jasper) and a shop assistant who's head nearly exploded but she was too confused to respond. Lol.

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