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  1. #21
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    I think its ridiculous that he expects her to leave her gifts behind at his place (never mind the cat which he should have consulted you on it, unless he got the cat for himself!) I hope as she grows older she tells him to get lost and takes her stuff with her!!

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    LivinOnAPrayer  (25-12-2012)

  3. #22
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    Default Re: Not Fair!!

    Ds is expected to leave his toys behind, what would happen if he were to bring all the toys he wanted to home? He'd have nothing left to play with there. We've had the occasional thing flitter to and fro but not much. So I can understand that, that said ds has regular contact so much more use of the items. I would use London's idea of explaining the cat though. That's just mean.

    And at least if he changes her clothes then he can't blame you for anything that should happen to "his" clothes and you get much more use out of the ones you've supplied.

    I hope you end up with a good day today.

  4. #23
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    Default Not Fair!!

    Quote Originally Posted by RmumR View Post
    Yep same with the clothes situation here. DD1 is changed out of what ive sent her in as soon as she gets there then back into that outfit to come home.....he is pathetic.

    Whats the point in spending the money to buy clothes that get worn a half dozen times and toys that don't get a chance to be played with
    I do this with DSD only because bio mum sends everything straight back. She sends her here in cheap cheap clothes ( dirty, too small ) I send her back in pumpkin patch she says she doesn't want that **** in her house

    I am of the opinion that it gets more wear at home with mum. Same with any special toys she wants to take home. I give up so now whatever she wears here, she wears home.

  5. #24
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    Default Not Fair!!

    Quote Originally Posted by ciaomamma View Post
    I think its ridiculous that he expects her to leave her gifts behind at his place (never mind the cat which he should have consulted you on it, unless he got the cat for himself!) I hope as she grows older she tells him to get lost and takes her stuff with her!!
    This is what I'm hoping for in our situation but I'm also not going to be happy for SD to be arguing with mum but I'm figuring its not my problem.

    This kind of thing is really noticeable in our house at Xmas. My bio kids dad loses it if they bring anything home from his.

    I wish adults accepted that its the child's possession NOT YOURS.

  6. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maia View Post
    Ds is expected to leave his toys behind, what would happen if he were to bring all the toys he wanted to home? He'd have nothing left to play with there. We've had the occasional thing flitter to and fro but not much. So I can understand that, that said ds has regular contact so much more use of the items.
    Now that ex has a more stable home, we now do the same. Any bday/Christmas gifts from dad stay at dad's. He's recently also bought them a set of clothes for his house. Anything that comes from my house comes back to my house. I'm very stern on that now as all the nice things I had been buying for the kids (he's very controlling with money, so now that he's gone I can choose to buy good quality stuff) was getting left behind and lost and at his house, so now I make sure it all comes back within 1 or 2 visits. Works for us.

  7. #26
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    I really dont mind about the STUFF, but thinking about DD, wouldnt it be nice to have something here that links her to his house?

    I figure if i can send DD in clothes that i have paid for to his house, then why not the same way around if thats what DD wants to wear/bring home?

    I am more thinking along the lines of DD being comfortable. If she wants to wear a dress she loves from daddys house, let her!! If she wants to wear what i send her in, let her! Dont undress her in the park where im collecting her, so that shes wearing 'mums' clothes when i take her home.

    Give her a $2 teddy bear to bring home from daddys house. Let her say 'look what daddy got me' and let her see it at her home here to remember her father and the link between her two homes.

    She wears her clothes and plays with her toys at his house for a max of 30 days a yr...

  8. #27
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    Ive also told her father that im happy to send enough clothes with DD for her visits to his house if he tells me what he needs, to save him buying new clothes that wont get worn for more than 2 weeks. But nope, he doesnt want them, so fair enough, i'll let him waste his $$

  9. #28
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    He sounds like an ****!

    Ex and I argued a little about things he gies DS...so I laid it out...if he buys a gift for his "household" fine...keep it there. BUT... if he buys a gift FOR DS...then it is up to DS where it stays and if he brings it home with him.

    This morning, I did say no to taking his new presents to ex's (he picks him up at 11am and takes him for lunch and dinner and normally drops him home at bedtime) as there will be toys everywhere and he will be getting new stuff from them too....but normally...if he wants to take something he takes it.

    hugs for you and your DD...sounds like the times he sees her is 4 times a year too many!

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  11. #29
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    I got to speak to DD yesterday morning
    Apparently she got a lot of skylanders stuff, which irritates me a bit but oh well. DD hates video games, but her father and step brother love skylander

  12. #30
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    Default Not Fair!!

    Maybe it will give them something to all do together? Hope she's having fun


 

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