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  1. #11
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    threechooks is offline If my spelling annoys you that's your problem.... I have better things to do than proofread !
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    People don't go to charities unless they really need to. Perhaps she has a lot of debt?

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    Default Smith Family & receiving charity

    Where you live isn't always a fair indication - 'never judge a book by it's cover'....

    I live in a good suburb, nice new house and earn a decent wage. However since exDH suddenly left, I don't have a spare cent left each fortnight. I'm about to go on mat leave so thankfully he is helping a little with mortgage until I'm back at work again. So he should, considering we only brought this place based on our two good incomes. But if he does stop helping then I'm screwed.

    People may say 'just sell and buy in another area'. Sadly it's not as easy as that, our mortgage is chunky and by the time we paid all selling fees, we wouldn't be left with enough to buy anywhere else with the current property prices. I'd be forced to rent again with no chance of getting my own home for many years to come.

    I'm not suggesting I deserve help from charities, we are coping perfectly fine (just tight). However just providing another view, that you can't assume she doesn't need help because of where she lives. She may not receive a cent in CS either for example.

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  5. #13
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    Default Smith Family & receiving charity

    True that stuff was my backup thought after omg that's an expensive suburb.

    I guess I'm curious & a little shocked that this seems more common ie more & more families are at breaking point

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    Default Re: Smith Family & receiving charity

    I think people would be surprised to know just how many families are one paycheck away from being homeless and destitute.

    Mortgage stress is at high levels and there is a trend of income earners approaching charities for assistance.

    I am sure that there are people who abuse the charity system but these numbers would be small compared to those in need.

    As for where someone lives,all suburbs have to have a certain number of public housing (aim being to reduce the formation of ghetos and the stigma of this type of housing), so where someone lives is not always a true reflection of their financial situation.

    Sent from my GT-I9100T using BubHub

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    If she lives in an expensive area, umm, she has a big mortgage and is just scraping by to keep a roof over their heads??

    Your OP is a little confusing.

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    Default Re: Smith Family & receiving charity

    It's easy to think that people that look well off are going to be fine, but the reality can be quite the reverse. The same goes for people that look disadvantaged, but are actually coping quite well.

    I wouldn't expect myself to judge based on area. I've been there. Huge debt and almost bankruptcy while living in an affluent suburb

    Spent from my dome. Excuse autocorrect

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    Default Smith Family & receiving charity

    Does she own the house? There are thousands of housing commission houses/units in Waterloo, Bondi, Sydney city, Randwick and surrounding suburbs ( a few overlooking the harbour )

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    Default Smith Family & receiving charity

    The suburb you live in has nothing to do with how well off you are.
    There are numerous reasons why someone "poor" lives in a "wealthy" suburb.
    The property may have been part of an inheritance, purchased before the "boom" , rent controlled, housing commission, the resident maybe living beyond their means ( either rent or mortgage) to be in an area that is good for her kids ( school catchment etc), be housing provided from work, worst house on best street..... The list goes on.

    I grew up in a single parent house hold with little money, but mum always made sure we lived in a good suburb. For us it was the worst house on the best street scenario.
    She did this for various reasons including to try and break the poverty cycle, and so we were safe ( she grew up in dodgy suburbs with lots of violet break ins, street violence, drugs, sexual content etc and where most didn't get out of the ghetto)

    In saying that, she did occasionally ask for help especially at Xmas. I was totally embarrassed but it meant we got some little luxuries we wouldn't have normally got the chance to experience and did make it special for us.

    Based on my experience I feel if it's a once off ( or an every now and again) thing then it's not to bad, helps the dollar stretch as it is about the kids after all and the special memories they get from such gifts.
    however if it's a regular cry for help then she needs to wake up these charities are not there to help you raise your children they are there to provide assistance when it's really needed.

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    Many people live in an area that they could afford (hopefully, but maybe only just) at some point, but that doesn't mean they can easily afford the mortgage/rent now. BUT, the costs of moving are high - emotionally, physically (being a single mum with 3 kids would make the actual moving quite physically hard I'd imagine, especially if she has little support), financially (she may not get another mortgage if she owns, or she may not be able to get another rental easily either, and of course there's the actual costs of moving too). The other thing is that she might live there to be close to kids schools, childcare, family support, her work, etc. Moving to a cheaper area might make her life a heck of a lot harder.

    I think it's a good idea for her to accept charity to help her. She's struggling and rather than her children missing out on food & presents she's asking for help. Don't for a second think it's easy. She probably has kids with Christmas wish lists as long as their arms and yet if she's relying on charity she will potentially not be able to get a single thing off those lists. And the food they offer isn't necessarily the tastiest or healthiest or most appealing in general.

    Lots of working families are really struggling, especially single parent families with kids.

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    Default Smith Family & receiving charity

    Quote Originally Posted by Plan2bamummy View Post
    The suburb you live in has nothing to do with how well off you are.
    There are numerous reasons why someone "poor" lives in a "wealthy" suburb.
    The property may have been part of an inheritance, purchased before the "boom" , rent controlled, housing commission, the resident maybe living beyond their means ( either rent or mortgage) to be in an area that is good for her kids ( school catchment etc), be housing provided from work, worst house on best street..... The list goes on.

    I grew up in a single parent house hold with little money, but mum always made sure we lived in a good suburb. For us it was the worst house on the best street scenario.
    She did this for various reasons including to try and break the poverty cycle, and so we were safe ( she grew up in dodgy suburbs with lots of violet break ins, street violence, drugs, sexual content etc and where most didn't get out of the ghetto)

    In saying that, she did occasionally ask for help especially at Xmas. I was totally embarrassed but it meant we got some little luxuries we wouldn't have normally got the chance to experience and did make it special for us.

    Based on my experience I feel if it's a once off ( or an every now and again) thing then it's not to bad, helps the dollar stretch as it is about the kids after all and the special memories they get from such gifts.
    however if it's a regular cry for help then she needs to wake up these charities are not there to help you raise your children they are there to provide assistance when it's really needed.
    Thanks, it got me thinking outside the square.

    I live in the suburbs, to me that area is a "richer" area. I don't know any single mums who could afford to live there based on housing cost alone.

    I just have to wonder what kind of msg this sends to people regarding donations based purely on the bare facts of richer suburb, has a job. I've been a single parent so I get that it's hard but even still my first reaction was has a job, richer area.

    And I do feel bad that it was my first reaction because I do get that there's more to the story.


 

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