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  1. #11
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    Default Re: Quick Advice Please - Ex wants to bring over Xmas Presents

    In that case I'd suggest a time he can drop things of when you're not there and maybe offer to email a short video of ds opining the present.

    Of he says anything about it not being good enough you can then explain that gifts are supposed to be for the joy of the receiver, and of necessary ask him to look at his motives

    Spent from my dome. Excuse autocorrect

  2. #12
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    Default Quick Advice Please - Ex wants to bring over Xmas Presents

    Quote Originally Posted by Marepoppin View Post
    I don't think you should do it; only because it doesn't feel right and you don't want to encourage him
    I agree with this. Only because of what you said about him being critical of you and questioning you.

  3. #13
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    Default Quick Advice Please - Ex wants to bring over Xmas Presents

    Yeah, if all he really wants is for you to have the presents then he should be satisfied with dropping them when you aren't there. If on the other hand he wants to see you and talk to you then he needs to tell you that so that you can decide whether you want to give him that opportunity.

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    Default Quick Advice Please - Ex wants to bring over Xmas Presents

    Quote Originally Posted by shelle65 View Post
    Yeah, if all he really wants is for you to have the presents then he should be satisfied with dropping them when you aren't there. If on the other hand he wants to see you and talk to you then he needs to tell you that so that you can decide whether you want to give him that opportunity.
    All this & if he does want to talk it can wait til after Xmas

  5. #15
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    Thanks, I think I will txt him that I am home this morning baking so if he wants to drop them off that is okay (he will probably say I need to be here ie: will likely be chocolate he won't leave in heat or will use as excuse!) I will make it clear it is not to discuss our relationship (which has ended) then he will have to talk to me another time when my son is not here. Hopefully that will give me a peaceful Xmas and not unexpected visitors I am still nervous though, but I know he will persist.

  6. #16
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  7. #17
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    Default Quick Advice Please - Ex wants to bring over Xmas Presents

    Quote Originally Posted by Issey View Post
    Thanks, I think I will txt him that I am home this morning baking so if he wants to drop them off that is okay (he will probably say I need to be here ie: will likely be chocolate he won't leave in heat or will use as excuse!) I will make it clear it is not to discuss our relationship (which has ended) then he will have to talk to me another time when my son is not here. Hopefully that will give me a peaceful Xmas and not unexpected visitors I am still nervous though, but I know he will persist.
    I think you handled things well, its a difficult situation to be in. How did things go this morning?

    I hope everything went ok!

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Issey View Post
    How? I am not initiating any contact.
    Say NO. No explainations. From where I'm sitting it is easy to offer this advice though. I'm saying this because I can't hear a tone of wanting to reconcile in your posts or else his sudden interest would be welcomed. Some times you have to make it easier for them to understand your no by putting it strongly and being quite abrupt.

    Any way, how did it go?

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    I dated a guy for 3years, and he came over at Christmas time to give DS a present. We are civil. We talk, as friends do with no ill feelings towards each other. Sure, it feels weird sometimes but I think that's just me thinking this guys seen me naked and what not, it's not that I'm getting weird vibes or anything.

    I would allow him to come over. If you feel uncomfortable, ask a friend to be around coincidentally at the same time. I would either get something really small or get DS to make something so the focus becomes more on him and your DS rather than you and him.


 

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