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    Default Quick Advice Please - Ex wants to bring over Xmas Presents

    My ex boyfriend (not childs father) wants to bring over some xmas presents for us. I feel really uncomfortable about it. We only broke up last month and he hasn't really taken it that well, even though I am the one that wanted commitment and he didn't so I ended it.

    Anyway he has rung today without leaving a message and text me tonight saying he wants to give us some presents before xmas.

    I feel stressed about it really, I haven't had a chance to get him anything and wasn't sure if I should. I think it is just a ploy to see us as last time we caught up it was to give my son birthday presents.

    Not sure how to deal with it. Not sure if it is good for my son either as we are adjusting to not having him in our lives, but saying that I did say we could be friends, however is that realistic?

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    Default Quick Advice Please - Ex wants to bring over Xmas Presents

    If you're uncomfortable then don't do it.

    How old is your son? If you think it'll confuse him then I'd suggest not accepting the gifts. Could you explain it in a way that ex would understand?

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    Default Quick Advice Please - Ex wants to bring over Xmas Presents

    I'd say maybe let him come and have a friend their with you just incase...

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    My son is 7.
    I was with the guy for 3.5yrs.
    I already told him not to buy us gifts that it was un-neccessary when he called me on Tuesday night. The conversation that came from him was asking if I was missing him, which I said I have been really busy, so not to offend him. He was FIFO and we only saw him 3 nights every 3rd week for the past year. This contributed to our relationship breakdown. His conversation was also critical of me and I am over it after explaining why we have broken up in person, then written it down so he can comprehend it.
    I am concerned if I don't meet up with him he may turn up unexpectantly on Xmas Day or something.
    I hate confrontation and this is what it feels like.

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    Default Quick Advice Please - Ex wants to bring over Xmas Presents

    Hun I think you need to distance yourself from this person.

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    How? I am not initiating any contact.

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    Default Quick Advice Please - Ex wants to bring over Xmas Presents

    This is a tough one.

    If you're really uncomfortable about it then you should say no.

    But.....if things are relatively civil between you both then maybe you should allow him to come, even if it's just for a coffee and gift exchange. Have a friend or family member there if you feel you need that extra support person. 3.5 years is a good chunk of your child's life, I think it's nice that he's bought him a gift for Christmas despite the relationship between you and your ex breaking down. If he and your son get along well then it might be nice for your son to see that things are okay, eventhough you're no longer with your ex.

    If you didn't buy him anything then maybe you could just make him something with your son, a batch of cookies or something?

    I don't know, if you think he's doing it just to play games with you then I'd be wary, but I'm just thinking of your son. It might be nice for him.

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    Default Re: Quick Advice Please - Ex wants to bring over Xmas Presents

    Everything girly whirly said!

    Are you uncomfortable about this cause you're over thinking it and feeling obliged, or cause you're actually uncomfortable with him...

    Spent from my dome. Excuse autocorrect

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    He hasn't really got a strong relationship with my son, that is one of the problems. Although my son adores him.
    I am just worried he will make a scene and go on about our relationship.
    Maybe I will just tell him to drop over in the morning so I can get it over with! I have a box of chocolates I can give him and I think a book in the cupboard, however won't amount to much compared to his gifts I am sure. But then again he earns 4 x what I do.
    We are civil but in saying that we have only just broken up and he has been working away but now home for good as his job is finished and he is feeling lonely.
    I would say the gifts are purely to get an opportunity or reason to come over.

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    Default Quick Advice Please - Ex wants to bring over Xmas Presents

    I don't think you should do it; only because it doesn't feel right and you don't want to encourage him
    Last edited by Marepoppin; 23-12-2012 at 00:11.


 

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