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ppphhhh, i love the bench/high table one!
Why don't you just say to her that you really appreciate her wanting to give this to you BUT you were so looking forward to baby shopping with your husband / partner and that now days its all part of the excitement and lead up to having the baby. A bit like wanting to cook the first birthday cake for your child, as the mum you just want to enjoy it all and everything that goes with it including shopping for all this stuff. Your looking forward it.
It's not being rude. She had her time and enjoyed putting together her baby items now you want to do the same. . It would be rude of her to expect you to use it .
Whilst I do appreciate some things I really enjoyed buying prams and nursery stuff. I didn't spend a fortune at all but setting up the nursery is a right of passage for any new mum and you should not feel bad for doing it your way.
Stiflers Mom (23-12-2012)
I believe in saying, "No, Thank You anyway. We already have baby things picked out and on layby." Firmly responding with that each time is important, even if it is irritating to have to keep repeating yourself.
As for not hurting relations between the family members, while having the furniture tested for safety standards is acceptable, throwing out the mattress is a MUST!! Then, after the furniture has been deemed either safe or unsafe, discussing with the MIL what she wants to do with the unsafe furniture (IE converting it into something either artistic or converting for an alternate use) if she can't bear to throw it out. As for the safe furniture? Once it is scrubbed and sanitised of all nasty germs, whats wrong with leaving it at the MIL's? Theres no law saying baby HAS to use that furniture while there, but maybe it could be set up in a nice fashion so that the MIL can still have her memories and the parents can still have peace of mind.
Lots of great advice, but I wouldn't advise taking the items just to keep the peace and then putting them out for verge collection or giving them to charity. Some of the items (not the car seat surely, but others) might hold great sentimental value for your MIL. Good luck.
Wow, I love the idea of converting the furniture into something else. Since shes very artsy as well I might be able to get her to help with that. When I saw her at christmas she showed me all the baby clothes shes been knitting. I can only imagine how much work shes putting into this. Had me thinking maybe I was overreacting.
Then she brought out all her old maternity clothes for me, all mended and washed... Great, but again, 30 year old, three sizes too big, (oh, you'll get bigger as your pregnancy develops) and then says, when your finished I'll have them back for when the others get pregnant.
Anyway, thanks for the advice. Will definitely ask her about converting the unsafe stuff into something else.
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