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  1. #11
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    Forget tactful. Go with polite. "Thank you very much for the offer, but no, we'd like to buy our own." Repeat as necessary. "Thank you but no." Add platitudes. "Thank you, that is so kind of you, but no." Say anything, really, as long as it contains "thank you" and "no".

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  3. #12
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    Default Re: Tactful ways of refusing secondhand baby equipment...

    "No thankyou, this is baby is mine and DP's and we are really excited about selecting the baby equipment that we want."

  4. #13
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    Default Tactful ways of refusing secondhand baby equipment...

    I'd just be say no we want to buy newer things in better condition and that meet today's safety standards so we can use them for all our babies not just the first one.

    No way would I accept any of it or even pretend I was going to use it. Sorry. I'm a bit shocked anyone would actually be offering such old things that have had mice crawling over them and weeing and pooing on it all for 19 years. YUCK.
    Last edited by waterlily; 22-12-2012 at 06:25.

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  6. #14
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    Default Tactful ways of refusing secondhand baby equipment...

    To ensure it never gets used while she babysits, enthusiastically say "Sure, thanks, we'll take the lot!"...then put it out at your hard rubbish collection or take it to the tip. If she asks where it is, say that you were given new stuff as a present and donated the old stuff to charity.

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  8. #15
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    Default Re: Tactful ways of refusing secondhand baby equipment...

    Quote Originally Posted by Hollywood View Post
    To ensure it never gets used while she babysits, enthusiastically say "Sure, thanks, we'll take the lot!"...then put it out at your hard rubbish collection or take it to the tip. If she asks where it is, say that you were given new stuff as a present and donated the old stuff to charity.
    There's been threads about that lol

  9. #16
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    Default Tactful ways of refusing secondhand baby equipment...

    Quote Originally Posted by Hollywood View Post
    To ensure it never gets used while she babysits, enthusiastically say "Sure, thanks, we'll take the lot!"...then put it out at your hard rubbish collection or take it to the tip. If she asks where it is, say that you were given new stuff as a present and donated the old stuff to charity.
    Reading between the lines it sounds like its the sentimental aspect she's holding onto so it will be very hard to decline, without messing up some deep imbedded connection to her own babies.
    I know it's effort on your part to get rid of it but I would humor her and take it. Salvage what you can ( maybe some cool wooden toys or something) but dump the rest. Say you won a competition, or your best friend gave it to you

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  11. #17
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    As others have said, make a time with her to check out all the stuff (it'll hopefully make her feel included) and maybe try to salvage the better stuff.

    Will they be babysitting much? Or will the baby just mainly be there when you are? If it's the latter the maybe say you'd love them to have a high chair/cot at their house for when you visit and then the baby will be fully supervised by you. You'd have to buy a new mattress though. And again, it really depends on the condition/safety standard of the cot.

    If worse comes to worse and you can no longer be tactful I think it's your partner's responsibility to be the 'bad guy' and bluntly state that you do not want it. She may get angry at him, but she'll forgive her own son more quickly I think.

  12. #18
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    I would just be up front and say - thanks but no thanks. Explain that one of the joys of being pregnant and having a baby, will be for you to choose out all the new things for bub and you are really looking forward to decorating/decking out the nursery in a specific style.

    Tell her you appreciate the offer but you have already started making purchases and won't be taking her up on it.

  13. #19
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    I'd just say 'thanks, but we already have stuff we picked out together on order.'

    As for bubs using it when there I would take my own portacot and carseat, like a pp suggested saying baby is familiar with the items.

    My dd (and 3 of her 4 cousins) aren't allowed to sleep in the cot at the inlaws, it's a really new cot but they matterus doesn't fit and mil has insisted on leaving the plastic wrapping on it!! Her theory is oldest grandchild (7) used it everyday and was fine. Now the cot it strictly used as storage as we all don't let our kids sleep at their house without us present and when they do they sleep on a spare bed/couch/pram depending on the age.

  14. #20
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    Default Tactful ways of refusing secondhand baby equipment...

    I'm with Babyla & Stiflers Mum -- I would say I want to choose things that suit my style/ taste.


 

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