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  1. #1
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    Default Fussy feeder

    Hi all

    I'm at my wits end right now between the sleep issues and feeding issues. I don't know if they are related so I will explain both here in the hope someone has some suggestions as I don't know how much longer I can cope like this for.

    So at most feeds lately but not all DS (now8 weeks old) has become really fussy on the breast (he is exclusively breastfed so has never had a bottle and has only had the dummy a handful of times and not for very long as he doesn't really know what to do with it so I haven't pushed the issue). He will feed for a min then arch back and pull on my nipple then let go. This will continue for the entire feed. He does this when he is doing a poo so I have been thinking he is trying to poo at the feeds he is fussing but he doesn't poo often only manages to fart. He can do this during the night or day.

    sleeping: he is good at night. Will feed at 6, then to bed at 7pm and then when he wakes for feeds during the night he is going back down right after a feed. During the day is a whole mother story. He feeds, then around an hour after waking (including feeding) he is showing tired signs so I swaddle and put him to bed. He will go to sleep quite easily but only stays asleep for 30 mins and then is clearly still tired but I can spend an hour trying to resettle and he just fights going to sleep again. He will drift off only to open his eyes again 30-60 seconds later. After an hour I. Getting frustrated and then I start thinking he is now hungry again so the cycle starts again.

    I have started to think is he hungry and not getting enough milk is this why he isn't sleeping but then he wouldn't be putting on the weight. He is consistently putting on a minimum of 200g per week.

    Any advice would be greatly appreciated as I am getting so frustrated at the situation and my baby boy and then I feel guilty because I am frustrated at him and its not his fault.

  2. #2
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    He is putting on good weight so doesn't sound like supply issue. I thought about reflux as my friends baby would arch his back during feeds but would also cry...but not sure about the night being better.....do u feed him In Quiet dark room in the day as sometimes I noted my dd would fuss when overstimulated.....

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    Can you feel if/when your milk is letting down?

    My first DS did this pulling off, it was SO frustrating. (He was also a catnapper so I feel your pain there). At the time I had a lot of milk and my letdown was really strong (the milk would just ****** out of the boob when he pulled off and it wouldn't stop for at least 10 seconds). He was put off and choking on the strong letdown so my solution was to bring the letdown on first, or express a little bit before putting him on, then he seemed less upset.

    However I wonder if this might be happening in YOUR situation because he is getting frustrated at waiting for your letdown to happen? If you think this might be the cause you can try to bring the letdown on faster for him by stroking the boob downwards to the nipple or by applying a warm wet washer to the boob before feeding.

    With regards to the catnapping I tried EVERYTHING and read high and low with my DS1 and eventually I've come to realise that some babies are just like that and I don't really believe anything can change that. It was really hard for me because he was tired and cranky but wouldn't sleep. I think perhaps if I had just accepted that he would be awake and cranky maybe it would have been less stressful than me trying desperately to get him to sleep, but these things are easy in retrospect.

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    Thanks for the advice. I'm not sure on the reflux as he doesn't arch his back at any other times and isn't crying in pain. We had been giving him infants friend since four weeks but started thinking it wasn't working anymore so I changed him yesterday to marina (I was almost out of infants friend anyway) and he seemed a bit more settled yesterday in general but not sure if its just a coincidence.

    He still was and is a little fussy when feeding so I am just burping him when he comes off and he hasn't been pulling off after two sucks now so not sure.

    emy in the early days my let down was really forceful to the point he would cough and splutter when it happened. Now my supply seems to have settled into his needs he doesn't do that anymore. So I did start to think maybe he got used to it and is frustrated it is too slow now but when he is doing it after his 8 hour sleep at night I am quite full so assume it should be quite fast then so I don't know.

    It's all so confusing. If only they came with a manual that told us specifically what their issues were it would be so much easier.

    I have been really tired the last few days so I think that has been compounding on the issue. I bought a manual breast pump yesterday so I can start expressing some for hubby to give an occasional bottle so I can get a bit more sleep. DS sleeps well at night but goes to bed at 7 for anywhere up to 8 hours but I have to eat dinner once he goes to bed so I'm not getting that full time and then if something wakes me or when I get up for his feed I spend atleast an hour getting back to sleep and then tossing and turning.

    i am slightly concerned about giving him a bottle while he is fussing on the breast incase it is the frustration on the flow speed. But the pump I bought is the medela harmony and it has a calma in it. Which is meant to mimic their feeding behaviour on the breast not just flow out so I feel a little better about it. I guess if he only gets one a week he isn't going to prefer that surely?

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    Default Fussy feeder

    My almost 6 week old does this too! Drives me crazy. I went to a lactation consultant and to a breastfeeding clinic run by the hospital but neither could give answers as to why. Personally I think I had lots of milk and a forceful letdown and that is why - as he gets older he does it less and now it mainly seems to be if he goes too long without a proper feed on one side (particularly the right). He is having lots of difficulty this morning after poor feeding during the night - I find if I express some from that side it helps him cope better. Not sure if that would help you. I hope someone can shed light on what might be happening for you as I know how frustrating it is!!

    Can't help with the catnapping sorry.

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    Well I think I discovered why he fusses. He did a massive poo yesterday and then didn't fuss at all after that at any of yesterday's feeds. He started again today and I paid more attention to what he is doing when he pulls off and he is wriggling so I think he is trying to poo.

    doesnt really give me a solution since he doesn't poo for days but I guess atleast I know why I can stay calmer when he does it.

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    Certainly no solutions or you, but just want to say you're not alone!
    My daughter (3 months) does this, and at almost EVERY feed. In her case I'm sure it's a number of things. One is swallowing air - partially due to a strong letdown (though I don't let her get the first letdown, the flow still sometimes makes her pull back and she loses suction) - also due to poor latch as she gets so fussy when tired and won't attach properly. One is her trying to poo which makes the swallowing air WORSE as she starts gulping when she does this. One is having air in her stomach (so of course this makes it worse). And the other is generally being overtired. But, like your son, I can NOT get her to sleep well during the day despite her being tired. I could deal with her just being grumpy, but when it affects her feeding it's SO frustrating.

    Over time mine has gotten a little better - I think as I've gotten more used to what to do - but still so frustrating to deal with.

    I really hope your situation improves!

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    Actually, I just thought of a couple of things that help a bit. They certainly don't stop my daughter doing it, but...

    When she starts arching her back, I find that only 2 positions help with this. One is standing, holding her diagonally across my stomach, walking around. The walking tends to calm her a bit which means she gets less upset, and she can flail her back end around whilst i still hold her shoulders firmly. The other is side-lying. Again she can still flail around without it affecting her attachment as much.

    The other thing is using the dummy if she goes on/off all the time and starts getting upset. I know you said your son doesn't really use one, but he might suck on your finger? With mine I find if I give her something to suck on for a bit which doesn't come out of her mouth so easily, she'll calm down and then sometimes feed more easily for a bit.

    Hope that might be of some help.

  9. #9
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    Default Fussy feeder

    Thanks for your advice renn. I have been trying to hold him more near his shoulders so he stays latched but can squirm the bottom half of his body. He has gotten better but has also been pooing every day or atleast every second so not sure if that has been helping. Will be interesting to see how much he has put on when he gets weighed on Monday. Hasn't been weighed for three weeks because they have been closed for Christmas.


 

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