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  1. #81
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    Anyone who claims to understand extreme sleep deprivation and then says they still wouldn't resort to what this couple did can't have experienced TRUE deprivation.

    Hallucinations of horrifying things. Inability to walk because your balance and spacial awareness is so severely effected. Vomiting. Migraines. Impaired judgement to the degree that you are incapable of even beginning to make a decision, literally being unable to comprehend the difference between up and down.
    Depression so severe that you seriously consider killing yourself. Microsleeps that put you in danger of so many things that could kill you or your loved ones and yes, that's even just around the home!..

    I've personally seen a man so far into sleep deprivation that he was eating a bowl of dirt for breakfast. After several days of no sleep he just scooped up a bowl of dirt instead of breaking open his museli package and started eating it with a spoon. We literally had to wrestle the bowl away from him and he was snarling like a demon and throwing punches the whole time.
    After a good stretch of sleep later he didn't remember actually scooping up the dirt but he DID remember us taking it away from him and he was horrified because he admitted to us that had he been armed at the time he would have done his best to stab each and every one of us.
    People who had his backs through thick and thin and were as close as his own family and he would have knifed us just to keep his bowl of dirt.

    So folks, whilst I haven't done something like this myself (and hope never to have to) judge not lest ye be judged.
    Without knowing exactly what they'd already done to try to mitigate this problem we can't claim to be experts on what they 'should' have done.

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  3. #82
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eko View Post
    Anyone who claims to understand extreme sleep deprivation and then says they still wouldn't resort to what this couple did can't have experienced TRUE deprivation.

    Hallucinations of horrifying things. Inability to walk because your balance and spacial awareness is so severely effected. Vomiting. Migraines. Impaired judgement to the degree that you are incapable of even beginning to make a decision, literally being unable to comprehend the difference between up and down.
    Depression so severe that you seriously consider killing yourself. Microsleeps that put you in danger of so many things that could kill you or your loved ones and yes, that's even just around the home!..

    I've personally seen a man so far into sleep deprivation that he was eating a bowl of dirt for breakfast. After several days of no sleep he just scooped up a bowl of dirt instead of breaking open his museli package and started eating it with a spoon. We literally had to wrestle the bowl away from him and he was snarling like a demon and throwing punches the whole time.
    After a good stretch of sleep later he didn't remember actually scooping up the dirt but he DID remember us taking it away from him and he was horrified because he admitted to us that had he been armed at the time he would have done his best to stab each and every one of us.
    People who had his backs through thick and thin and were as close as his own family and he would have knifed us just to keep his bowl of dirt.

    So folks, whilst I haven't done something like this myself (and hope never to have to) judge not lest ye be judged.
    Without knowing exactly what they'd already done to try to mitigate this problem we can't claim to be experts on what they 'should' have done.
    Eko you have a knack for saying exactly what I'm thinking! What a brilliant way of putting it!

    As I read that story, although it seemed horrible, I could feel his pain and suffering. Who are we to judge for how another handles this situation? He clearly did it to save the family, not to traumatise or hurt anyone. I believe in this society we are way too over the top with what we won't accept or do with our own children purely because we fear how we will be judged.

    Like Eko said, I personally wouldn't want to do something like and I hope to goodness it never comes to this, but, if it resorted to the point where we weren't sleeping, we were depressed, we were at breaking point and my marriage was about to and adn my child was miserable because she wasn't sleeping .. I can't say I wouldn't consider trying it. I don't care who judges me for that. I felt the pain of the man who wrote that story and then felt the joy his family is now because of this method he tried. We can never say never until we are in those exact shoes.
    Last edited by FirstTimeMummy2012; 21-12-2012 at 08:16.

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    Default I locked our toddler in his room every night to save my marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by Eko View Post
    Anyone who claims to understand extreme sleep deprivation and then says they still wouldn't resort to what this couple did can't have experienced TRUE deprivation.

    Hallucinations of horrifying things. Inability to walk because your balance and spacial awareness is so severely effected. Vomiting. Migraines. Impaired judgement to the degree that you are incapable of even beginning to make a decision, literally being unable to comprehend the difference between up and down.
    Depression so severe that you seriously consider killing yourself. Microsleeps that put you in danger of so many things that could kill you or your loved ones and yes, that's even just around the home!..

    I've personally seen a man so far into sleep deprivation that he was eating a bowl of dirt for breakfast. After several days of no sleep he just scooped up a bowl of dirt instead of breaking open his museli package and started eating it with a spoon. We literally had to wrestle the bowl away from him and he was snarling like a demon and throwing punches the whole time.
    After a good stretch of sleep later he didn't remember actually scooping up the dirt but he DID remember us taking it away from him and he was horrified because he admitted to us that had he been armed at the time he would have done his best to stab each and every one of us.
    People who had his backs through thick and thin and were as close as his own family and he would have knifed us just to keep his bowl of dirt.

    So folks, whilst I haven't done something like this myself (and hope never to have to) judge not lest ye be judged.
    Without knowing exactly what they'd already done to try to mitigate this problem we can't claim to be experts on what they 'should' have done.
    I agree with Eko. However the piece in the OP is written and whether you think it's self righteous or whatever, sleep deprivation can affect people tremendously. He may have given his wife an ultimatum for her own sake, maybe he could see her going down a very bad path.

    At the end of the day most parents are doing the best they can with what they have.

    I don't doubt it's not the choice other parents would make, but it's the choice they made and it seems both their son and they are happier getting the sleep they need.

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  7. #84
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    Quote Originally Posted by BornToBe View Post
    It has opened my eyes a bit that parents would choose the above solution (which is so hard for everyone to endure) above sleeping with their kid in their room/bed so I guess I need a bit more understanding about that. What is it about co sleeping that is so not doable for some parents?
    I certainly wouldn't chose locking my child in but I am not a candidate for co-sleeping either. I am a very light sleeper and insomniac. It takes me ages to get to sleep and then I am very easily woken. If someone snores, breathes loudly, moves around, it all wakes me up. I can't sleep in the same bed as someone either as I just stay awake. The cat can't even sleep on my bed as she snores!

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    Default Re: I locked our toddler in his room every night to save my marriage

    Wow give this guy a break. Until you''ve been in his shoes don't judge!
    I really feel sorry for this couple. Couldn't have imagine what they were going through.
    Yeah it seemed cruel but it was there last option. They were at their lowest point in their lives. And he admits that. He even said how guilty and ashamed he was. It's not like he was proud or anything.

    If I ever met you, I'd give you a great big hug!


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    Default I locked our toddler in his room every night to save my marriage

    Truthfully it's not something I would do but desperate times call for desperate measures. It's not all that different from self settling. At say 6 months old if the door is closed a baby of that age can not get up and open it. Maybe the whole safety side of things are a bit off but I'm not gonna sit here and judge someone else's coping or parenting mechanisms. I'm sure we all know and realize that people do it differently.

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    Default I locked our toddler in his room every night to save my marriage

    Co-sleeping is not some sort of parenting ideal! It's great if it works for you but it is not something for other parents to aspire to, which is what I think a lot of people on here seem to think.

    I'm a light sleeper. DS is a light sleeper. We both sleep better in our own rooms. Plus, I love having my room as my own baby free space. I love having my husband to myself in bed. At the weekend we might have a couple of drinks so it would be unsafe. Tons of reasons not to co-sleep!!! I don't think any of them mean I love my son less than people who want to share their bed with their kids.

    We regularly do early morning cuddles as snoozes in our bed which we all love but that's obviously not the same thing.

    Also, as I mentioned previously, if the issue is that the child doesn't want to be alone, won't the same issue still stand if the parents are in the lounge?

    It's not as though anyone would suggest going to bed at the same time as the kids... Would they?

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    Default I locked our toddler in his room every night to save my marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by Eko View Post
    Anyone who claims to understand extreme sleep deprivation and then says they still wouldn't resort to what this couple did can't have experienced TRUE deprivation.

    Hallucinations of horrifying things. Inability to walk because your balance and spacial awareness is so severely effected. Vomiting. Migraines. Impaired judgement to the degree that you are incapable of even beginning to make a decision, literally being unable to comprehend the difference between up and down.
    Depression so severe that you seriously consider killing yourself. Microsleeps that put you in danger of so many things that could kill you or your loved ones and yes, that's even just around the home!..

    I've personally seen a man so far into sleep deprivation that he was eating a bowl of dirt for breakfast. After several days of no sleep he just scooped up a bowl of dirt instead of breaking open his museli package and started eating it with a spoon. We literally had to wrestle the bowl away from him and he was snarling like a demon and throwing punches the whole time.
    After a good stretch of sleep later he didn't remember actually scooping up the dirt but he DID remember us taking it away from him and he was horrified because he admitted to us that had he been armed at the time he would have done his best to stab each and every one of us.
    People who had his backs through thick and thin and were as close as his own family and he would have knifed us just to keep his bowl of dirt.

    So folks, whilst I haven't done something like this myself (and hope never to have to) judge not lest ye be judged.
    Without knowing exactly what they'd already done to try to mitigate this problem we can't claim to be experts on what they 'should' have done.
    That's kind of like saying anyone who has had PND but never harmed their child hasn't had TRUE PND, which is quite frankly horse ****.

    I find it hard to believe that this man of above average literacy wrote this lengthy and very detailed depiction of his experiences, and just conveniently forgot to leave the above extremes out. What is it about his experience that makes you so sure that he was experiencing any worse than any other sleep deprived parents around the world? By his own admission this was a well researched DECISION that he made, certainly not of the same calibre as eating from the dogs bowl.

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    Default I locked our toddler in his room every night to save my marriage

    If the parents were that sleep deprived wouldn't going to bed at the same time as the child, in the case of co-sleeping, be welcome?

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    Quote Originally Posted by kw123 View Post
    Co-sleeping is not some sort of parenting ideal! It's great if it works for you but it is not something for other parents to aspire to, which is what I think a lot of people on here seem to think.
    Hardly... in the context of this thread it's actually being suggested as an alternative to locking a child alone in a room to scream.

    Thanks all for sharing your insights into co sleeping and why it doesn't work for you. Always good to hear other perspectives.


 

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