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  1. #191
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    Quote Originally Posted by mmy2b View Post
    Co-sleeping doesn't have to be in the same bed? Why couldn't they put his bed in their room and lock the door, that way at least you'd know he's safe... And if he got sick in the night you'd know.

    My son had a croup attack once and ran into our room as he literally could not make a sound or get a breath in, he was so panicked. I shudder to think what could have happened if he couldn't get to us.

    If I was oppose to co-sleeping I'd probably park a mattress right outside his door so I'd wake as soon as he opened it.

    I feel sorry for the lil boy.
    Yep. This is what I struggled with, with their reasoning to lock him in on his own rather than lock him in with them. I believe it's because he wanted his wife to himself at night
    to be honest.

  2. #192
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    Default I locked our toddler in his room every night to save my marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by ermergerd View Post
    I actually have no judgement of this couple. Ive been to the point where one more night with no sleep and I was scared for what could happen. Every person has a breaking point every couple has another breaking point. It's not actually an uncommon occurrence which even though its not 'right' it doesnt make him a monster thats for sure. You go literally 3 years with no more than an hour or so sleep and see how you feel at the end of it.

    And its not as easy as 'getting help' you whinge about lack of sleep and people think you're over reacting and start regaling you of stories about how their little possums don't sleep, and in reality its nothing compared to what you're giong through.

    Dont judge unless youve been there


    And I dont agree that parents shouldnt put their marriage first sometimes.
    Agree. We r there at the moment. Our relationshi is in trouble and our 3 year old doesn't slee thru, he wants to be in our bed.

    I'd never do it but I don't judge them.

  3. #193
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    PlayNice is offline Saving the world one chocolate at a time
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    I can't pretend not to judge these parents.

    I judge any practice that is guaranteed to cause unnecessary, severe, continued, uncomforted distress in a child. That poor child is scared emotionally for life.

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  5. #194
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    Default I locked our toddler in his room every night to save my marriage

    My heart goes out to all families who are pushed to this kind of breaking point. 😥

    My family found ourselves at breaking point this year, we found ourselves at Masada MBU. I don't know what would have happened if we'd not gone and turned things around.

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    Quote Originally Posted by EmyB View Post
    That kid is going to grow up fine, won't even remember the lock on his door.

    .
    Speaking from experience, a child can remember - I certainly remember my own experience of being locked in my bedroom, the absolute terror and panic.

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  8. #196
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lil M View Post
    Yep. This is what I struggled with, with their reasoning to lock him in on his own rather than lock him in with them. I believe it's because he wanted his wife to himself at night
    to be honest.
    So? What actually is wrong with a husband wanting to spend time with his wife? I honestly question these attitudes and wonder if it has anything to do with the rate of marriage break down. We give our child total power over our lives and I dont believe its supposed to be that way. Everyone in the household must be miserable if it means the child has full control.

    Sometimes we need to put our marriages first. shock horror right.. totally selfish how dare we want to save our marriages and not have our children totally control our lives. Loving and nurturing your child doesnt mean they are more important than every single relationship in the house. Im sorry but it just doesnt and MOST professionals will tell you the same thing.

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  10. #197
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    Default I locked our toddler in his room every night to save my marriage

    Yep - I enjoy having my husband to myself at night. Shock horror!!

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  12. #198
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    Default I locked our toddler in his room every night to save my marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by ermergerd View Post
    So? What actually is wrong with a husband wanting to spend time with his wife? I honestly question these attitudes and wonder if it has anything to do with the rate of marriage break down. We give our child total power over our lives and I dont believe its supposed to be that way. Everyone in the household must be miserable if it means the child has full control.

    Sometimes we need to put our marriages first. shock horror right.. totally selfish how dare we want to save our marriages and not have our children totally control our lives. Loving and nurturing your child doesnt mean they are more important than every single relationship in the house. Im sorry but it just doesnt and MOST professionals will tell you the same thing.
    I agree with this. There's nothing wrong with parents wanting time to themselves. You can be an excellent parent without being with your kids every second of the day, especially if your relationship is in a rocky place. I think it's a more loving thing to do as a parent to give time to all the relationships in the family. A child is hardly going to be totally ecstatic if they get their parents attention all the time but their parents end up splitting because they get no time to maintain their own relationship.

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    Default Re: I locked our toddler in his room every night to save my marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by PlayNice View Post
    I can't pretend not to judge these parents.

    I judge any practice that is guaranteed to cause unnecessary, severe, continued, uncomforted distress in a child. That poor child is scared emotionally for life.
    How could you possibly know that? Do you know the child personally? If you read my post I went through this as a child and I'm not scared in the slightest, in fact, I applaud my parents.

    ETA - I'm not saying because I'm not scared another child wouldn't be but I do think it's unlikely. I'm just saying you can not possibly say you know that is the case.

    Sent from my GT-I9300T using BubHub
    Last edited by butterfly2013; 21-12-2012 at 20:44.

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  16. #200
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    If I didn't co-sleep with my son I'm sure we would have come to this point. But that IS the point. I've done everything to avoid him distress at sleep times and I will continue to do so because I could never imagine doing what these people did...as sorry as I feel for them.

    ETA: I am single so do not have a husband to look forward to after DS goes to sleep lol


 

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