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  1. #181
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    I do think you need to read the WHOLE article. In the beginning I though what a chauvinistic misogynist *******. At the end I only thought him to be a little bit of one.

    He was saying that HE had psychological issues, not because of her body or what it had done/could do. He was in awe of that. He was frightened that he might hurt her! His lack of drive was a huge indicator of love (strange I know).

    His friend is nothing more than a **** though. Wife breastfeeding is an issue? Bugger off. She can find better. I'm concerned with the reverse. My boobs are finally going back to pre-child and I prefer them in their BFing glory. Nipples are so much prettier then!

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  3. #182
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    London - I agree with you on this one.

    I think people are also forgetting that the articles are journalism. He doesn't have the word count (let alone the readability factor) to spend hours explaining every single word in case someone gets the wrong idea.

    I have no problem with him talking honestly about his feelings.

    No one can say what they would do without being in a specific situation, and the fact that it only really took 1 night (and only 3hrs) to fix the problem for everyone means that it was probably a pretty good solution.

    Regarding the other article, many couples find their feelings change for each other after having childbirth. It read to me that he was being very honest.

    Everything he has said comes across to me that he loves his partner, loves his child, and is speaking from the heart. I have no issues with it.

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  5. #183
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    Quote Originally Posted by princessleah View Post
    London - you are speaking everything I'm thinking.

    Here's one for all you who think this man or these parents are monsters for what they did...

    I WAS that child. My parents were these parents. I would get up and harass my parents 50-60 times a night. I would smash things in the kitchen. I would bang my head on a concrete floor repeatedly throwing tantrums for no apparent reason. They tried co-sleeping, I would pull at their hair, their eyelids, pinch their skin. They tried everything they could try. I was the last of 4 children and my brother and sisters (much older then me, yes, I was a pleasant surprise!) were heavily depressed because of my behavior. My Dad, who loves my Mum more than life itself, was so far beyond breaking point one night he literally felt like he was going to have a heart attack. He went for a drive to calm down and returned hours later. He installed a lock on my door the next day. Like this child, I screamed like I was being murdered for hours the first night but soon I was sleeping through the night most (not all) nights. I don't recall most of this, in fact what I do remember is how sad I made my parents. Mum would try and hide it but I do remember her crying quite a bit. I was 4 years old when they finally put a lock on the door to save my family. It did not affect me one bit and I am so extremely close to my parents and once I knew everything that had happened I was grateful for what they did. My father suffered severe stress from the way I behaved and the lack of sleep him, his wife and his other kids (including me) were experiencing and I tell you what, anyone who says what my parents did to me was disgusting and un-loving can go jump.

    Have you been in these patents exact situation? NO! Then who are you to judge them?

    The ultimatum he gave his wife, what, you prefer he ran off?? It seems to me this man loves his wife a lot and seriously had no other option. I agree too he is harshly judged being that he is a man, I see it so much that what is ok for a wife to do to a husband is not ok for a husband to do to a wife.

    I'm so sick of reading all the judgmental posts in forums when people have no idea what the hell this really feels like.

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    Thank you for sharing this story. We can be so quick to damn parents who do anything that might 'damage' a child, yet this scenario you have explained was clearly damaging to your father, your mother and yourself to let this continue. I think this man loved his child and his wife so much that he was willing to try and support his wife through this clearly controversial tactic for the sake of their family.

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  7. #184
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    Quote Originally Posted by kw123 View Post
    It's no use London - most people in this thread will never interpret this thread how we have (which I obviously believe is the correct way). If it makes them feel better to vilify him then so be it.
    You know people can disagree and that's ok? As long as people are decent to each other it's good to debate and learn. BH and the world would be a pretty boring place if we all thought the same thing

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  9. #185
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    Default Re: I locked our toddler in his room every night to save my marriage

    London, I read the words of a man who is genuinely traumatised by fairly regular things (not nice things, but common nonetheless) and at first seems to try but then at the end of the day, rather then continuing to seek out the best option for his son/wife, instead advocates the easiest option for himself, then portrays himself as the victim of the story while minimising any thought to his loved ones.

    You don't have to agree with me and your opinion is fine. Everyone see's things from a different perspective. Like the lightning bolts hitting a train wittnessed by two seperate individuals to explain the theory of relativity, so too it is all relative to how you would think/feel in that scenario yourself and how you believe a family should work based on your own values.

    Imo, as said earlier, I think he is selfish. I wouldn't want to be married to him!

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  11. #186
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    Default I locked our toddler in his room every night to save my marriage

    Co-sleeping doesn't have to be in the same bed? Why couldn't they put his bed in their room and lock the door, that way at least you'd know he's safe... And if he got sick in the night you'd know.

    My son had a croup attack once and ran into our room as he literally could not make a sound or get a breath in, he was so panicked. I shudder to think what could have happened if he couldn't get to us.

    If I was oppose to co-sleeping I'd probably park a mattress right outside his door so I'd wake as soon as he opened it.

    I feel sorry for the lil boy.

  12. #187
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    Default Re: I locked our toddler in his room every night to save my marriage

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  13. #188
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    Default Re: I locked our toddler in his room every night to save my marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by Boobycino View Post
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    Good point Babycino! Lol.

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  14. #189
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kiplusthree View Post
    London, I read the words of a man who is genuinely traumatised by fairly regular things (not nice things, but common nonetheless) and at first seems to try but then at the end of the day, rather then continuing to seek out the best option for his son/wife, instead advocates the easiest option for himself, then portrays himself as the victim of the story while minimising any thought to his loved ones.

    You don't have to agree with me and your opinion is fine. Everyone see's things from a different perspective. Like the lightning bolts hitting a train wittnessed by two seperate individuals to explain the theory of relativity, so too it is all relative to how you would think/feel in that scenario yourself and how you believe a family should work based on your own values.

    Imo, as said earlier, I think he is selfish. I wouldn't want to be married to him!

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    I've been following this thread and tring to articulate a reply but you've just done it for me! I absolutely agree with the above!

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  16. #190
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    Default Re: I locked our toddler in his room every night to save my marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by Kiplusthree View Post
    Good point Babycino! Lol.

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    I thought so.

    (Not sure What happened!)

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