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  1. #151
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    London is offline “I think we're losing our sense of humor instead of being able to relax and laugh at ourselves" - Betty White
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boobycino View Post
    Its his words that "their babies drove them to break up"

    The babies didn't do anything except be fed. His friend had an affair... i suspect that might have had something to do with their break up.

    I think just in the context of him delivering his wife an ultimatum after SHE got up 37 times to this son - i dunno - maybe I'm reading too much into the wording.
    See, I just think I am seeing this in a TOTAL different light to other people.

    Yes he said the babies broke them up....I read that as the introduction of a child to the relationship caused new problems that they didnt anticipate and they made choices (whether right or wrong)...not "it was literally the babies fault".

    Ive already commented on the ultimatum and how I viewed that so I wont do it again cos I assume people are sick of hearing it.
    Ive also said how I felt about the getting up 37 times thing.

    I dunno, I think I just might be seeing both sides of the fence a bit differently or clearer. Men are not like women....we do not work the same or think the same or function the same. They think its irrational to get mad over leaving the toilet seat up (Im on their side there too) and we think its irrational to get mad over their team losing the grand final. I think we are truly flawed on both sides and think its a bit of a universal sick joke that we are paired together yet are soo incompatible.

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  3. #152
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    Default I locked our toddler in his room every night to save my marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by Boobycino View Post
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...-sex-YEAR.html

    This is another article by this man..

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    This man is an ar$ehole who needs to grow a set of balls.

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    Default I locked our toddler in his room every night to save my marriage

    London I'm seeing it all exactly as you are

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    Default I locked our toddler in his room every night to save my marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by Boobycino View Post
    Its his words that "their babies drove them to break up"

    The babies didn't do anything except be fed. His friend had an affair... i suspect that might have had something to do with their break up.

    I think just in the context of him delivering his wife an ultimatum after SHE got up 37 times to this son - i dunno - maybe I'm reading too much into the wording.
    If you are, then you're not alone. Something about his tone in both articles is making me feel uncomfortable. Especially the part where he says that he gave the wife an ultimatum about being a father by the time he was 40. I can't put my finger on what exactly, but his tone in both articles is really giving me the creeps.

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  9. #155
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    I cant help but think if it were a woman giving ultimatums it would be considered ok...like she was a strong, independent woman who knows what she wants from life. In fact, in alot of movies and tv shows we see female characters laying out on the table exactly what they want.
    eg. Sex and The City. Carrie had to ask the Russian if he wanted kids, because she was too late in her life to not be considering that......then when he said no she had to ask if he was willing to give her a life that would make up for not having kids.

    When I met DP and we started considering more from each other I told him that I already had a child (which he knew from the start) but that I did not want anymore children, so if he saw himself as a daddy in the future then we would not start dating because it was something I was not willing to give. So he had the ultimatum. Decide, RIGHT NOW, if you want to be a dad...because if you do, Im not the person for you.
    Oddly enough, here we are 7 years later and pregnant But you get my point.

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    He is just so incredibly immature and selfish. I realise both articles are about him and from his point of view but really? How did the wife feel about sex and her body after birth etc. I think this article just confirms a woman's fears about how her partner really sees her post baby body. Not recommended for those with low self esteem!

    Its my experience anyway that the male sex drive iis remarkably resilient and will recover from almost anything

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    Why on earth is this "disgusting"?? Sounds like the completely reasonable actions of loving parents at breaking point. That kid is going to grow up fine, won't even remember the lock on his door.

    Shame on all those condemning the parents for taking reasoned, carefully considered action (yes drastic, but the situation called for it) in an intolerable situation. It's nice to throw stones but just wait until your particular glass house appears (and it WILL in parenthood somewhere).

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    Default Re: I locked our toddler in his room every night to save my marriage

    I congratulate him for being so honest. I don't see what the drama is. He loves his wife and he's got a lot of guilt for what happened to her. It made me seriously review dp and I.

    My dp cannot stand the smell of blood, even the faintest traces- like the very tail end of a period, when I'm not even wearing a liner- repulse him, and he can't perform. Sorry if tmi. I don't know if its due to a gory and bloody event he expirienced with a suicide bomber, or if he just hates blood, or both. (personally I'm voting "suicide bomber rotting in sun for three days.") Other exs haven't been keen on period juices, but he's the only one to leapt back and say I smell blood, I'm sorry, I can't go on.

    Dp wants a baby with me. I can imagine him struggling with a normal labour, because he's a fixer. He burns in his own hell when I mention a problem he can't fix. If I say I'm lonely, he feels terrible and he will arrange for us to meet up with his workmates who have girlfriends. He's good like that.

    To see me labouring and he can't do a single thing to help me would make him terribly guilty. To see and smell blood would disgust him, and then he will load on even more self hate that he "can't handle it" or he's less of a man.

    I can imagine him very well, after a traumatic labour like the authors wife expirienced, to be horrified at what he did to me. So on top of self hate and shame, he's now horrified. He's not a good dh in his eyes. He failed. Back pain I would accept as the cost of children, but to him would be a reminder that he hurt me.

    So yeah. I get where this guy has come from. And I'm glad he's got me considering these issues before we end up in a downward misery spiral.

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    Default I locked our toddler in his room every night to save my marriage

    Oh please. Are people really translating "their babies broke them up" as the guy literally thinks it was the baby's fault?

    How about it was the introduction of a baby into their lives that broke them up?

    That is clearly what he meant. And yes, it does happen.

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    I haven't read the whole thread and I'm not judging what the parents did in this situation.

    What I found interesting about the article is that he mentioned that the writer's mother told him that they had locked him in his room when he was a child so he would stop wandering around (and that everyone did it back in the day) and he couldn't remember them doing that!!

    So perhaps at the time the situation is traumatic for all concerned but does not necesarily have any (bad) long term effects?

    Dunno, just that one line in the article made me feel a bit better about some of the "parenting lapses" I've had....

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