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  1. #131
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    Quote Originally Posted by ermergerd View Post
    Judgement city in here.

    What would divorce solve? Absolutely nothing thats what it would solve. But I really hope no ones suggesting that he hang around hating his son and his wife just to be a 'real man' and deal with it. EVERYONE has a breaking issue and for millions of people around the world this exact thing is breaking up their marriages. It doesnt make you a monster if you cant cope with it, its extreme and not a 'normal' part of being a parent. You're all so quick to pull the 'what an evil man' card. What about every single day when it's given as advice in here for a woman to give her husband an ultimatum. thats ok, thats perfectly fine but when this man gives one to his wife, for the sake of their marriage, their lives and their son suddenly hes a monster because it doesnt fit in with your perfect ideals on what it is to be a parent?. That's fair.

    And I agree half of the people in here wouldnt know what true sleep deprivation is, and thats easy enough to tell by the threads about people asking how to get their 8 weeks olds to sleep through the night. 8 weeks and people cant cope. thats not sleep deprivation try 2-3 years of it.

    This thread makes me furious so many holier than thous, 'I wouldnt do this' 'I wouldnt do that' its revolting to watch.

    I think some of you need to go read it again because I think we may have read a different article. I read nothing that was self rituous, I see a man that was broken and needing to fix his marriage. Which in the long run is what is optimal for that child. Having his mum and dad together not living under two roofs.

    God forbid a man be run down by a family situation.
    Couldn't have said it any better and yes.. it is revolting to watch the "I never would .. blah blah blah.

    At the risk of being slammed and I really don't care if I am, I am going to put it out there and say. If that was me in that situation and I was at breaking point along with my family being at breaking point too, I would do whatever is necessary to try and save my family. I would have tried it. No ifs or buts about it.

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  3. #132
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hagrid View Post
    So before you judge me :P for "judging", settle down.
    Uhm no one was judging you ... no settling down required here.

  4. #133
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    Default I locked our toddler in his room every night to save my marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by ermergerd View Post
    Judgement city in here.

    What would divorce solve? Absolutely nothing thats what it would solve. But I really hope no ones suggesting that he hang around hating his son and his wife just to be a 'real man' and deal with it. EVERYONE has a breaking issue and for millions of people around the world this exact thing is breaking up their marriages. It doesnt make you a monster if you cant cope with it, its extreme and not a 'normal' part of being a parent. You're all so quick to pull the 'what an evil man' card. What about every single day when it's given as advice in here for a woman to give her husband an ultimatum. thats ok, thats perfectly fine but when this man gives one to his wife, for the sake of their marriage, their lives and their son suddenly hes a monster because it doesnt fit in with your perfect ideals on what it is to be a parent?. That's fair.

    And I agree half of the people in here wouldnt know what true sleep deprivation is, and thats easy enough to tell by the threads about people asking how to get their 8 weeks olds to sleep through the night. 8 weeks and people cant cope. thats not sleep deprivation try 2-3 years of it.

    This thread makes me furious so many holier than thous, 'I wouldnt do this' 'I wouldnt do that' its revolting to watch.

    I think some of you need to go read it again because I think we may have read a different article. I read nothing that was self rituous, I see a man that was broken and needing to fix his marriage. Which in the long run is what is optimal for that child. Having his mum and dad together not living under two roofs.

    God forbid a man be run down by a family situation.
    This ^^^^ so well said!

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  6. #134
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    Default Re: I locked our toddler in his room every night to save my marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by Jensha View Post
    I don't understand why the child couldn't just sleep in their room!? my dd every night ends up in my bed and I would never dream of not allowing her that comfort!
    Because, as previously mentioned by me and others, some children DON'T sleep in their parents rooms, some parents are on meds that forbid it, some parents CAN'T sleep with children in their room. Like I said earlier, parenting is NOT a one size fits all!

    Everyone needs to stop mentioning co-sleeping/bedsharing as an alternative. If it works for you and me, lucky us... But it doesn't work for everyone!

    People need to get off their high horse and realise that sometimes parents need to do things that we may consider drastic for the wellbeing of themselves and their children. It is not wrong, it's not inhumane, it is a different option they have chosen. We most certainly shouldn't be judging based on what they should/could have done, we don't know what they tried previous to locking the door.

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  8. #135
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    Default I locked our toddler in his room every night to save my marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by FirstTimeMummy2012 View Post
    Uhm no one was judging you ... no settling down required here.
    I said "before" you all judge. Btw I really hate to be this person but, everyone in here is judging - good or bad we all make judgments on people based on our own morals and experiences. As proved here, everyone has different parenting values and how we raise our children, there are things we KNOW that we would never do, you can think it is revolting to say "I would never..." but I know I would never lock my son in a room overnight, I would never hit my son and I would never wear leggings as pants.

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  10. #136
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    I think the major difference is, when someone on here gives an ultimatum to their partner they are doing it because their PARTNER is behaving in a disrespectful way and the PARTNER needs to change their behaviour to save the relationship.

    From what I read from the article, his wife had done nothing disrespectful to him at all. This was not her fault. She had tried everything alongside him. She was the one getting up multiple times a night, she was just as distressed and exhausted as he was. Giving her an ultimatum because of the CHILD's behaviour I find arrogant and selfish. I actually don't judge the locking the child in the room bit, I totally see why they did it, and imagine if I were that desperate I may do the same. I just hate the selfish way he approached it.

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  12. #137
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    Quote Originally Posted by shelle65 View Post
    I think the major difference is, when someone on here gives an ultimatum to their partner they are doing it because their PARTNER is behaving in a disrespectful way and the PARTNER needs to change their behaviour to save the relationship.

    From what I read from the article, his wife had done nothing disrespectful to him at all. This was not her fault. She had tried everything alongside him. She was the one getting up multiple times a night, she was just as distressed and exhausted as he was. Giving her an ultimatum because of the CHILD's behaviour I find arrogant and selfish. I actually don't judge the locking the child in the room bit, I totally see why they did it, and imagine if I were that desperate I may do the same. I just hate the selfish way he approached it.

    Or... instead of trying to demonise him. You can look at it that he was doing it for her own good. A LOT of parents mother in particular forget their own welfare in order to do what they think is necessary for the child. Even if that means they are wearing themselves down and going to make themselves sick. A lot of mums need a kick start from someone else to snap them out of it. Be it their husband. a doctor their mother or a friend.
    Last edited by ermergerd; 21-12-2012 at 11:27.

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  14. #138
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    Quote Originally Posted by shelle65 View Post
    I think the major difference is, when someone on here gives an ultimatum to their partner they are doing it because their PARTNER is behaving in a disrespectful way and the PARTNER needs to change their behaviour to save the relationship.

    From what I read from the article, his wife had done nothing disrespectful to him at all. This was not her fault. She had tried everything alongside him. She was the one getting up multiple times a night, she was just as distressed and exhausted as he was. Giving her an ultimatum because of the CHILD's behaviour I find arrogant and selfish. I actually don't judge the locking the child in the room bit, I totally see why they did it, and imagine if I were that desperate I may do the same. I just hate the selfish way he approached it.
    Totally get your point.....again I see it as "WE need to do something or I am out of here". He wasnt asking for her to change but for the situation to change.

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    Default Re: I locked our toddler in his room every night to save my marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by Hagrid View Post
    and I would never wear leggings as pants.
    Hahahahahhaa completely off topic but this literally made me LOL

    Sent from my GT-I9305T using BubHub

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hagrid View Post
    I said "before" you all judge. Btw I really hate to be this person but, everyone in here is judging - good or bad we all make judgments on people based on our own morals and experiences. As proved here, everyone has different parenting values and how we raise our children, there are things we KNOW that we would never do, you can think it is revolting to say "I would never..." but I know I would never lock my son in a room overnight, I would never hit my son and I would never wear leggings as pants.
    Never say never

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