Closed Thread
Page 13 of 26 FirstFirst ... 3111213141523 ... LastLast
Results 121 to 130 of 251
  1. #121
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    10,611
    Thanks
    404
    Thanked
    1,918
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    I read half and gave up as I can do without the ramblings of a self indulgent prat.

  2. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to MsMummy For This Useful Post:

    BornToBe  (21-12-2012),Ceili  (21-12-2012),DailyDiversion  (21-12-2012),RobinSparkles  (21-12-2012),shelle65  (21-12-2012),Stiflers Mom  (21-12-2012)

  3. #122
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Sydney, NSW
    Posts
    4,087
    Thanks
    1,466
    Thanked
    1,215
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Hagrid View Post
    It also says he watched his wife get up 37 times and then said we're locking him in or I am leaving. If DF let me get up to DS 37 times without helping and said that, I would be pushing him out the door.
    He watched her get up 37 times to tend to their son. Who's to say he didn't get up another 37 times in between the times she got up and just didn't mention it in the article? It's so easy for everyone to say "Oh if my DH/DP/DF did that he'd be out the door". I highly doubt though if you were in that position you actually would do that. I'm sure you would do whatever you had to to save your family.

  4. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to FirstTimeMummy2012 For This Useful Post:

    butterfly2013  (21-12-2012),Missbean  (21-12-2012)

  5. #123
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Victoria
    Posts
    2,610
    Thanks
    1,023
    Thanked
    511
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by London View Post
    Again, I see it as a breaking point. You can love someone (his wife and kids) and hate to be around them at the same time. Im sure it wouldnt have helped but like I said, I saw it as a way to get them to work together to try something. He could have easily not given an ultimatum and just gone "f**k this" and walked out.
    Things get said in the heat of a moment that, while you do mean them at the time, when you look back you realise they were probably a bit rash and hasty.
    I think your right I also think that if someone gives and ultimatum they want to work it out because if they didnt want to fix the problem and be with the person they would just leave.

    Quote Originally Posted by Hagrid View Post
    It also says he watched his wife get up 37 times and then said we're locking him in or I am leaving. If DF let me get up to DS 37 times without helping and said that, I would be pushing him out the door.
    Maybe it was her night, maybe he got up 40 times the night before. Without knowing what they were doing each night you cant really judge him

  6. #124
    London's Avatar
    London is offline “I think we're losing our sense of humor instead of being able to relax and laugh at ourselves" - Betty White
    Winner 2012 - BubHubber you'd like to meet IRL
    Winner 2012 - Best Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Perth
    Posts
    11,392
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked
    4,936
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by tannedangel View Post
    You don't know the circumstances around that. I've always left hubby to sleep, I don't ever expect him to get up to the kids, because to remain alive at work, he needs sleep. I'd rather an alive husband and being sleep deprived over a dead husband.
    This is us too. DP does a manual labor job and I would be terrified sending him to work in that dangerous setting after making him get up 37 times a night.

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to London For This Useful Post:

    Lovemyfam  (21-12-2012)

  8. #125
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    3,678
    Thanks
    1,170
    Thanked
    381
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts

    Default I locked our toddler in his room every night to save my marriage

    I don't understand why the child couldn't just sleep in their room!? my dd every night ends up in my bed and I would never dream of not allowing her that comfort!

  9. #126
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    90
    Thanks
    84
    Thanked
    159
    Reviews
    0
    Judgement city in here.

    What would divorce solve? Absolutely nothing thats what it would solve. But I really hope no ones suggesting that he hang around hating his son and his wife just to be a 'real man' and deal with it. EVERYONE has a breaking issue and for millions of people around the world this exact thing is breaking up their marriages. It doesnt make you a monster if you cant cope with it, its extreme and not a 'normal' part of being a parent. You're all so quick to pull the 'what an evil man' card. What about every single day when it's given as advice in here for a woman to give her husband an ultimatum. thats ok, thats perfectly fine but when this man gives one to his wife, for the sake of their marriage, their lives and their son suddenly hes a monster because it doesnt fit in with your perfect ideals on what it is to be a parent?. That's fair.

    And I agree half of the people in here wouldnt know what true sleep deprivation is, and thats easy enough to tell by the threads about people asking how to get their 8 weeks olds to sleep through the night. 8 weeks and people cant cope. thats not sleep deprivation try 2-3 years of it.

    This thread makes me furious so many holier than thous, 'I wouldnt do this' 'I wouldnt do that' its revolting to watch.

    I think some of you need to go read it again because I think we may have read a different article. I read nothing that was self rituous, I see a man that was broken and needing to fix his marriage. Which in the long run is what is optimal for that child. Having his mum and dad together not living under two roofs.

    God forbid a man be run down by a family situation.

  10. The Following 13 Users Say Thank You to ermergerd For This Useful Post:

    atomicmama  (21-12-2012),butterfly2013  (21-12-2012),Ellymoe  (21-12-2012),FirstTimeMummy2012  (21-12-2012),Guest654  (21-12-2012),Kaybaby  (23-12-2012),Lovemyfam  (21-12-2012),peanutmonkey  (21-12-2012),Pen14  (21-12-2012),pinkorblue  (21-12-2012),Purple Lily  (21-12-2012),shhhsleeping  (21-12-2012),tannedangel  (21-12-2012)

  11. #127
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    online
    Posts
    1,146
    Thanks
    247
    Thanked
    461
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Desperate times call for desperate measures, that's all I see here. I'm glad to hear it worked for them.

  12. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to ThreePeasPlease For This Useful Post:

    butterfly2013  (21-12-2012),Lovemyfam  (21-12-2012)

  13. #128
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    2,290
    Thanks
    2,377
    Thanked
    903
    Reviews
    72
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts

    Default I locked our toddler in his room every night to save my marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by FirstTimeMummy2012 View Post
    He watched her get up 37 times to tend to their son. Who's to say he didn't get up another 37 times in between the times she got up and just didn't mention it in the article? It's so easy for everyone to say "Oh if my DH/DP/DF did that he'd be out the door". I highly doubt though if you were in that position you actually would do that. I'm sure you would do whatever you had to to save your family.
    Why wouldn't he put it in the blog post? You can only go by what you see and that is what he is written, I am not going to speculate of what else goes on, that would be pointless, you could go into any number of things and switch it around to make it fit your point of view. I quoted what was directly written. I can tell you that I have been in a similar situation as my DS like many, still wakes through the night, he is 20 months and while I let DF sleep to a degree as I feel it is important for him to sleep as well, if DS is being particularly difficult ie; waking for the 10th time and hard to get back to sleep, he will offer help or I will ask for it. If he wasn't like this or if he was demanding I use methods I am not comfortable with as I am the one who does the majority of night time care, I wouldn't be trying to "save" my family as that would show a complete lack of respect for me and also mean he had evolved into a completely different person, someone who I wouldn't be interested in having a relationship with. Anyway this is very OT now. As I said I was commenting on what was directly written in the post and not bringing in what ifs.

  14. #129
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Central West
    Posts
    1,540
    Thanks
    1,829
    Thanked
    855
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default I locked our toddler in his room every night to save my marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by tannedangel View Post
    You don't know the circumstances around that. I've always left hubby to sleep, I don't ever expect him to get up to the kids, because to remain alive at work, he needs sleep. I'd rather an alive husband and being sleep deprived over a dead husband.
    Totally agree with this. My DH is often up very late helping me settle DS2 then his alarm goes off at 4.30am. He needs a decent chunk of sleep to be able to function in a physically demanding and technical job that requires good concentration levels. I don't judge these people on what they had to do at their breaking point - I just feel grateful that I have never been forced to make such a decision to regain some sanity and normality. I didn't read it as a father who made this decision lightly; more as someone who was at the end of his rope and desperate.

    I can only hope I'm never in such a situation.

  15. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Chippa For This Useful Post:

    butterfly2013  (21-12-2012),Lovemyfam  (21-12-2012)

  16. #130
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    2,290
    Thanks
    2,377
    Thanked
    903
    Reviews
    72
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts

    Default I locked our toddler in his room every night to save my marriage

    Just like to point out in my original post earlier in the thread, I said that while it isn't something I would do and I found the fact he is locked away til 7am and left to toilet in his room quite weird, that I can see it from their point of view, moreso for the safety aspect. My post quoting the wife getting up and the ultimatum was in reply to another poster, stating I wouldn't be okay with that in my own relationship. So before you judge me :P for "judging", settle down.


 

Similar Threads

  1. Labour with toddler in room - anyone have any experience?
    By BubbleGuppy in forum Pregnancy & Birth General Chat
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 28-09-2012, 09:31
  2. HELP... Save me from bad night sleeper.... :(
    By louP in forum General Sleeping & Settling Chat
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 02-06-2012, 21:50

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Softmats
With so many amazing reversible designs, the soft and cushioned Premium Bubba Mats are the perfect space for all the family. Not only do they look fantastic; you can also enjoy the quality and comfort for years to come.
sales & new stuffsee all
Bub Hub Sales Listing
HAVING A SALE? Let parents know about it with a Bub Hub Sales listing. Listings are featured on our well trafficked Sales Page + selected randomly to appear on EVERY page
featured supporter
Hills Swimming Kenthurst
Located in the beautiful suburb of Kenthurst and boasts a heated 25m pool. We conduct world-leading Baby and Parent Classes, Preschool Classes, School Age and Squad Training. Our classes are small, our service personal and our quality of the highest.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!