Closed Thread
Page 12 of 25 FirstFirst ... 2101112131422 ... LastLast
Results 111 to 120 of 241
  1. #111
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Sydney, NSW
    Posts
    4,087
    Thanks
    1,466
    Thanked
    1,215
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by shelle65 View Post
    I really don't understand why a divorce was the alternative here. Who would a divorce have helped? The Dad only. The child would not have benefited, the Mum would not have benefited, just the Dad getting some sleep. I just don't get it.
    Well in the article he clearly states that it was do this or I'm leaving to go to a hotel. Do you really think he would have come back after a few days and everything would have been hunky dory? Of course by him leaving he is the only one that benefits but he was at that point. Or we do this or I leave. Why is it hard to understand that a divorce would probably have naturally been the next step or a trial seperation at the very least?

  2. The Following User Says Thank You to FirstTimeMummy2012 For This Useful Post:

    butterfly2013  (21-12-2012)

  3. #112
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Perth
    Posts
    144
    Thanks
    23
    Thanked
    77
    Reviews
    0

    Default I locked our toddler in his room every night to save my marriage

    When I sleep, I actually want to sleep. It is my alone time, time when I get some personal space. I'd go insane being attached to my children 24/7.
    My eldest never would cosleep, and even at nearly 5 she won't come into my bed to cuddle. My coslept with my youngest until she decided that she wanted her own space. Now being in my bed means its party time and mummy mummy mummy in out up down over and under.

    Mmm no thanks.

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to tannedangel For This Useful Post:

    FirstTimeMummy2012  (21-12-2012)

  5. #113
    London's Avatar
    London is offline “I think we're losing our sense of humor instead of being able to relax and laugh at ourselves" - Betty White
    Winner 2012 - BubHubber you'd like to meet IRL
    Winner 2012 - Best Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Perth
    Posts
    11,392
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked
    4,936
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by shelle65 View Post
    I really don't understand why a divorce was the alternative here. Who would a divorce have helped? The Dad only. The child would not have benefited, the Mum would not have benefited, just the Dad getting some sleep. I just don't get it.
    Again, I see it as a breaking point. You can love someone (his wife and kids) and hate to be around them at the same time. Im sure it wouldnt have helped but like I said, I saw it as a way to get them to work together to try something. He could have easily not given an ultimatum and just gone "f**k this" and walked out.
    Things get said in the heat of a moment that, while you do mean them at the time, when you look back you realise they were probably a bit rash and hasty.

  6. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to London For This Useful Post:

    butterfly2013  (21-12-2012),Ellymoe  (21-12-2012),Purple Lily  (21-12-2012)

  7. #114
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    1,233
    Thanks
    505
    Thanked
    311
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by kw123 View Post
    Co-sleeping is not some sort of parenting ideal! It's great if it works for you but it is not something for other parents to aspire to, which is what I think a lot of people on here seem to think.

    I'm a light sleeper. DS is a light sleeper. We both sleep better in our own rooms. Plus, I love having my room as my own baby free space. I love having my husband to myself in bed. At the weekend we might have a couple of drinks so it would be unsafe. Tons of reasons not to co-sleep!!! I don't think any of them mean I love my son less than people who want to share their bed with their kids.

    We regularly do early morning cuddles as snoozes in our bed which we all love but that's obviously not the same thing.

    Also, as I mentioned previously, if the issue is that the child doesn't want to be alone, won't the same issue still stand if the parents are in the lounge?

    It's not as though anyone would suggest going to bed at the same time as the kids... Would they?
    We also have DD in our bed in the morning, but don't co-sleep during the night, for most of the same reasons as you. The morning snuggles with DD are lovely, but the "special" snuggles in my own bed at night with DH are pretty good too . We get both this way . Co-sleeping wouldn't be a great solution for us to a sleep problem anyway as DD loves kicking and pulling DH's chest hair for fun.

  8. #115
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    7,878
    Thanks
    3,397
    Thanked
    5,160
    Reviews
    8
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts

    Default I locked our toddler in his room every night to save my marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by London View Post
    I think I am viewing the ultimatum differently to alot of people.
    I am seeing it as somethings gotta give...and in a relationship I think there needs to be both people WANTING to be there and on the same page. I dont think it works if they arent in it together.
    I see it as rather than walking out on his family, going to a quiet hotel/motel and sleeping the next few days away while his wife is left with the torturous situation, he gave her a choice............lets try something different....lets try something radical.....lets do something before we completely snap....lets do this step TOGETHER. United we stand.

    To me it shows more love and compassion for his family than taking the easy road, dusting his hands of it and walking away.
    That's how I saw it too.

  9. #116
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Perth
    Posts
    144
    Thanks
    23
    Thanked
    77
    Reviews
    0

    Default I locked our toddler in his room every night to save my marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by shelle65 View Post
    I really don't understand why a divorce was the alternative here. Who would a divorce have helped? The Dad only. The child would not have benefited, the Mum would not have benefited, just the Dad getting some sleep. I just don't get it.
    Yet if it were the other way around it would be perfectly ok for the mother to do. No judgement for her, just understanding that she wasn't coping and needed to get away to get some head space yadda yadda yadda. But because the person has a penis he is automatically a monster, selfish etc.

    I read it as a 'something's gotta give', not that he was being selfish or monstrous.

  10. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to tannedangel For This Useful Post:

    butterfly2013  (21-12-2012),Guest654  (21-12-2012),Lovemyfam  (21-12-2012),Missbean  (21-12-2012),shhhsleeping  (21-12-2012)

  11. #117
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    4,765
    Thanks
    1,903
    Thanked
    2,790
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Yeah I know. I just find it so arrogant. "If this doesn't change then I will do whatever I have to to make my life better and sod the rest of you". He doesn't seem to see anything wrong with it in the article. He speaks as though it is a perfectly justified thing to suggest.

  12. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to shelle65 For This Useful Post:

    RobinSparkles  (21-12-2012),Stiflers Mom  (21-12-2012)

  13. #118
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    4,765
    Thanks
    1,903
    Thanked
    2,790
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by tannedangel View Post
    Yet if it were the other way around it would be perfectly ok for the mother to do. No judgement for her, just understanding that she wasn't coping and needed to get away to get some head space yadda yadda yadda. But because the person has a penis he is automatically a monster, selfish etc.

    I read it as a 'something's gotta give', not that he was being selfish or monstrous.
    You're being sarcastic right? If it were the other way around it would be judgment city that a MOTHER could do that. It wouldn't even be contemplated that a poor FATHER could be left to deal with a difficult child.

  14. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to shelle65 For This Useful Post:

    BornToBe  (21-12-2012),Mathermy  (21-12-2012),RobinSparkles  (21-12-2012),Stiflers Mom  (21-12-2012)

  15. #119
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    2,290
    Thanks
    2,377
    Thanked
    903
    Reviews
    72
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts

    Default I locked our toddler in his room every night to save my marriage

    It also says he watched his wife get up 37 times and then said we're locking him in or I am leaving. If DF let me get up to DS 37 times without helping and said that, I would be pushing him out the door.

  16. The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to RobinSparkles For This Useful Post:

    BornToBe  (21-12-2012),Ceili  (21-12-2012),GreenMama  (21-12-2012),Missbean  (21-12-2012),shelle65  (21-12-2012),Stiflers Mom  (21-12-2012),wrena  (21-12-2012)

  17. #120
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Perth
    Posts
    144
    Thanks
    23
    Thanked
    77
    Reviews
    0

    Default I locked our toddler in his room every night to save my marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by Hagrid View Post
    It also says he watched his wife get up 37 times and then said we're locking him in or I am leaving. If DF let me get up to DS 37 times without helping and said that, I would be pushing him out the door.
    You don't know the circumstances around that. I've always left hubby to sleep, I don't ever expect him to get up to the kids, because to remain alive at work, he needs sleep. I'd rather an alive husband and being sleep deprived over a dead husband.

  18. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to tannedangel For This Useful Post:

    butterfly2013  (21-12-2012),Missbean  (21-12-2012)


 

Similar Threads

  1. Labour with toddler in room - anyone have any experience?
    By BubbleGuppy in forum Pregnancy & Birth General Chat
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 28-09-2012, 09:31
  2. HELP... Save me from bad night sleeper.... :(
    By louP in forum General Sleeping & Settling Chat
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 02-06-2012, 21:50

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Babybee Prams
Save $50 in our pre-Christmas sale! All Comet's now only $500. Our bassinet & stroller set includes free shipping AUS wide, $75 free accessories, 18-months warranty & a 9 month free return policy. Check out our new designer range today!
sales & new stuffsee all
Bub Hub Sales Listing
HAVING A SALE? Let parents know about it with a Bub Hub Sales listing. Listings are featured on our well trafficked Sales Page + selected randomly to appear on EVERY page
featured supporter
ProSwim
ProSwim runs learn to swim classes for babies, children and adults. Our indoor centre in Plympton Park has lessons all year round, including school holidays. We also offer outdoor programs during the summer months (Oct-Mar) at Rostrevor college.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!