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  1. #101
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    It's not something I would do. But I'm far from a perfect parent. We are at breaking point with DS who takes 2 hours+ every night to settle and will get up literally 25 times

    The thing that irked me the most was his ultimatum to his wife. I totally get he was really to lose the plot. But I guess I don't handle ultimatums well.

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  3. #102
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    London is offline “I think we're losing our sense of humor instead of being able to relax and laugh at ourselves" - Betty White
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    I think I am viewing the ultimatum differently to alot of people.
    I am seeing it as somethings gotta give...and in a relationship I think there needs to be both people WANTING to be there and on the same page. I dont think it works if they arent in it together.
    I see it as rather than walking out on his family, going to a quiet hotel/motel and sleeping the next few days away while his wife is left with the torturous situation, he gave her a choice............lets try something different....lets try something radical.....lets do something before we completely snap....lets do this step TOGETHER. United we stand.

    To me it shows more love and compassion for his family than taking the easy road, dusting his hands of it and walking away.

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  5. #103
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    Default I locked our toddler in his room every night to save my marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by London View Post
    I think I am viewing the ultimatum differently to alot of people.
    I am seeing it as somethings gotta give...and in a relationship I think there needs to be both people WANTING to be there and on the same page. I dont think it works if they arent in it together.
    I see it as rather than walking out on his family, going to a quiet hotel/motel and sleeping the next few days away while his wife is left with the torturous situation, he gave her a choice............lets try something different....lets try something radical.....lets do something before we completely snap....lets do this step TOGETHER. United we stand.

    To me it shows more love and compassion for his family than taking the easy road, dusting his hands of it and walking away.
    I viewed it the same as this.

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    Default Re: I locked our toddler in his room every night to save my marriage

    I have never been in this stituation. DS1(22months) slept through from about 5 weeks old. Even now when he is sick and we bring him in our bed to co sleep I always end up carrying him to his cot in the middle of the night. He tosses and turns the whole time in our bed.

    Im not sure what I would do if this happened to us. Sleep deprivation is a form of torture. Also things like driving while tired has been proven to be sometimes worse than drink driving.

  7. #105
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    Default I locked our toddler in his room every night to save my marriage

    Unless you walk in their shoes, you have no idea what they were going through. You may have bad sleepers, a bad relationship etc, but you are not them.
    I think he was very brave to write that article.
    I was always told that if you ever felt negative towards your child, put them somewhere safe they can't get out from and walk away. I think this is what he was doing. He knew the child couldn't be hurt and knew where he was by locking the door. So many children are physically abused.
    I have suffered extreme sleep deprivation, my 9 month old still wakes several times a night. It is torture. I'm a bad sleeper, co sleeping is not an option.
    I personally wouldn't do some of the things he did, but i won't judge because I feel from reading that he cared enough to ensure his family was at least safe.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FirstTimeMummy2012 View Post
    That's a really dumb statement. No one is talking about using drugs or harming the child like a PP said with regards to PND.

    Such a big deal out of something that has ended well for everyone involved. The family is happy as can be now and yet so many here are still judging on how they handled the situation.

    So would it have been better for the family to give up, get divorced and for that child to have to grow up with one parent and seeing the other parent every other weekend? Would that have been a betetr solution for the family??

    Please! The family was saved in three days! Does no one judging see that????

    Not a dumb statement at all. The end does not justify the means. You don't know what damage is caused by this in the future.

    It wasn't really neasecary to insult me because you disagree with me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by darla87 View Post
    Not a dumb statement at all. The end does not justify the means. You don't know what damage is caused by this in the future.

    It wasn't really neasecary to insult me because you disagree with me.
    I didn't insult you. I said it was a dumb statement.

    I'm sure the damage for that child would have been MUCH MUCH worse if the parents had given up and gotten a divorce.

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  12. #108
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    Quote Originally Posted by redlipsandpearls View Post
    I bedshare if/when dd wakes up, but I know plenty of people that can't. They either have a child that thinks it's party time in the parents bed, Mum/Dad is a light sleeper or is on a particular medication that affects their ability to safely bedshare. It's not a one size fits all.
    we co slept for about 8 months with our little 1 year old and then she turned into a monster to sleep with hitting, kicking and we found her in her cot she slept better I thought for sure we would co sleep until she got her big girl bed but that was possible and wasnt working for us or DD

  13. #109
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    Default I locked our toddler in his room every night to save my marriage

    I feel wrong in being so hasty and posting my comments but this story really upset me.
    Yes I uphold my opinion that what they did was disgusting BUT I can still empathise wih the parents being at breaking point. I do feel sorry for them that they were experiencing such extreme sleep deprivation and a strain on their relationship.

    I don't do the CIO method and this is why I find it so difficult to comprehend. I personally would not be comfortable CIO in a cot or a locked room. There is no difference to me. I just find it so sad and it would break my heart to listen to my child behind a locked door. And then for a childcare worker to be concerned because the childs voice was hoarse from crying? Really sad. But I also don't have the solution.

    I like to nurture my children regardless of what issues or problems they have and to me this is definately not what I consider nurturing. But every parent is different. So there you go, that is my "view from up there" as you put it.

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    I really don't understand why a divorce was the alternative here. Who would a divorce have helped? The Dad only. The child would not have benefited, the Mum would not have benefited, just the Dad getting some sleep. I just don't get it.

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