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  1. #91
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hagrid View Post
    If the parents were that sleep deprived wouldn't going to bed at the same time as the child, in the case of co-sleeping, be welcome?
    I still go to bed at the same time as my toddler some days, it just makes sense in terms of optimal sleep. Surely anyone so sleep deprived would feel the same way.

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  3. #92
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    Default Re: I locked our toddler in his room every night to save my marriage

    Maybe they tried cosleeping and they turned sideways, took up half the bed, then kicked them in the spines like my kids do.

    Just because co sleeping works for you, doesnt mean it works for everyone.

    I don't personally endorse this, but sometimes 3 traumatic nights make up for the sleep deprivation both parents and children were suffering from, not to mention the safety issues. So I dont judge them at all for making the right decision for their family.

    **Mum, Dad, Big boy (Dec 08) and Baby girl (Feb 11)**

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  5. #93
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    Default I locked our toddler in his room every night to save my marriage

    But it worked...

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    Default I locked our toddler in his room every night to save my marriage

    My DS doesn't co-sleep well either, except for day naps. However the article mentions they tried a lot of different things but not co-sleeping so I think that is why people are focussing on that as the alternative to locking him in his bedroom for 12 hours.

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    I would do this if I was in the same situation.

    Its not what you'd want to do, but put it this way if you have 2 parents (or 1) who aren't in full control due to sleep deprivation- how safe is the child?

    I hope that I'm never in this situation, but I have compassion for the parents who have.

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  10. #96
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    Quote Originally Posted by BornToBe View Post
    I still go to bed at the same time as my toddler some days, it just makes sense in terms of optimal sleep. Surely anyone so sleep deprived would feel the same way.
    Unless they are a poor sleeper themselves. If I have gone several nights with barely any sleep, I am in a terrible way. And I get irrationally angry at whatever or whoever wakes me up at that point.

    I really struggled to bond with DD as a baby as she stayed up all night which meant I didn't sleep. And being woken so easily, it didn't matter what time of the day I tried to sleep, something always woke me up.

    I think sleep is one of those areas of people's life that we little understand as we rarely see other people sleep, so we often don't understand how other people sleep well or don't sleep well.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Neekie View Post
    But it worked...
    And so would drugs.
    Just because something works doesn't mean it's safe, respectful or ethical.

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    Quote Originally Posted by darla87 View Post
    And so would drugs.
    Just because something works doesn't mean it's safe, respectful or ethical.
    That's a really dumb statement. No one is talking about using drugs or harming the child like a PP said with regards to PND.

    Such a big deal out of something that has ended well for everyone involved. The family is happy as can be now and yet so many here are still judging on how they handled the situation.

    So would it have been better for the family to give up, get divorced and for that child to have to grow up with one parent and seeing the other parent every other weekend? Would that have been a betetr solution for the family??

    Please! The family was saved in three days! Does no one judging see that????


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    Default I locked our toddler in his room every night to save my marriage

    I don't find it very loving that he would just abandon them. The least he could have done was suggest that they would alternate nights at a hotel so they could BOTH recover a bit. Sounds like he didn't give a sh!t about his wife's exhaustion and distress, only his own.

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    Default Re: I locked our toddler in his room every night to save my marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by Eko View Post
    Anyone who claims to understand extreme sleep deprivation and then says they still wouldn't resort to what this couple did can't have experienced TRUE deprivation.

    Hallucinations of horrifying things. Inability to walk because your balance and spacial awareness is so severely effected. Vomiting. Migraines. Impaired judgement to the degree that you are incapable of even beginning to make a decision, literally being unable to comprehend the difference between up and down.
    Depression so severe that you seriously consider killing yourself. Microsleeps that put you in danger of so many things that could kill you or your loved ones and yes, that's even just around the home!..

    I've personally seen a man so far into sleep deprivation that he was eating a bowl of dirt for breakfast. After several days of no sleep he just scooped up a bowl of dirt instead of breaking open his museli package and started eating it with a spoon. We literally had to wrestle the bowl away from him and he was snarling like a demon and throwing punches the whole time.
    After a good stretch of sleep later he didn't remember actually scooping up the dirt but he DID remember us taking it away from him and he was horrified because he admitted to us that had he been armed at the time he would have done his best to stab each and every one of us.
    People who had his backs through thick and thin and were as close as his own family and he would have knifed us just to keep his bowl of dirt.

    So folks, whilst I haven't done something like this myself (and hope never to have to) judge not lest ye be judged.
    Without knowing exactly what they'd already done to try to mitigate this problem we can't claim to be experts on what they 'should' have done.
    So.... because I've never eaten dirt the sleep deprivation I've experienced doesn't count as TRUE sleep deprivation....?

    From reading that article it doesn't sound like he was at the point of eating dirt either seeing as he had the cognitive ability to "start to make the decision" to threaten to leave his wife to go stay in a hotel if she didn't agree to bolting their son in his room. Doesn't really sound like he'd lost up and down. Or the ability to walk.... seeing as he was still going to work it doesn't sound like HE was experiencing your definition of true sleep deprivation either. Maybe he was just a wee bit tired.

    Not saying I think he's a monster or a terrible person or unloving - sounds like they were going through something awful. But I know I haven't and wouldn't have resorted to that. And I don't need to justify how sleep deprived I have been in the past to prove that I can say that without doubt. Unless I was at the stage of eating dirt at which point I would hope I would not be the person responsible for making parenting choices at that stage.


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    Last edited by Boobycino; 21-12-2012 at 09:23.

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