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  1. #31
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    Mine is ruined too.

    my little brother who is happily married with 2 young daughters has just been diagnosed with motor neuron disease. Real life changer....

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    atomicmama  (19-12-2012),PR2bMum  (19-12-2012),Trusty Chords  (20-12-2012)

  3. #32
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    Nothing like a good dose of perspective, best wishes to you and your family this Christmas!

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    Default Christmas is ruined :(

    Quote Originally Posted by beancounter View Post
    Mine is ruined too.

    my little brother who is happily married with 2 young daughters has just been diagnosed with motor neuron disease. Real life changer....
    Hugs to you....

    And what a reality check indeed!

  5. #34
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    I think the adult options are to suck it up and go, despite not liking her. Adults do this all the time.

    But you want to enjoy your Christmas, right? So don't go. Make your OWN celebration at home... it's not too late to organise something for just you, your husband and your children. Then see the relatives sometime soon afterwards... maybe Boxing Day, or maybe later still. Have a BBQ get-together or something.

    If people in my family don't get along - too bad. I invite them all. If they want to act all childish and declare they're not coming if so-and-so is, then whatever. They can go sulk and be little children elsewhere. I'm not picking sides because of their issues.

    It just so happens that most of my family (on both sides) bug me, so this year, we're avoiding them all on Christmas Day. We can see them either side, but ACTUAL Christmas Day will be spent with just DP and DD... away from all family dramas. I'll suck it up and be nice either side of Christmas, but I want to actually enjoy my Christmas Day.

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  7. #35
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    Default Re: Christmas is ruined :(

    Quote Originally Posted by beancounter View Post
    Mine is ruined too.

    my little brother who is happily married with 2 young daughters has just been diagnosed with motor neuron disease. Real life changer....
    Life really is unfair sometimes

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    Sorry to crash this thread, it's just so shocking and new. You think cancer is the worst thing but at least they can do something for cancer....

    he has a little girl in kindergarten, it's heartbreaking.

    Has anyone got an (positive) info?

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    Default Christmas is ruined :(

    you have never met your husband's sister?
    If I was in your shoes, I think I'd be curious to see what she's like and what it's all about!!

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    Default Christmas is ruined :(

    Me personally, I'd stay home BECAUSE I would be concerned the situation would flare up & there would be a scene in front of my children.

    We don't get to pick family but we get to choose how much they impact on our lives as adults😜

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    Default Christmas is ruined :(

    Quote Originally Posted by beancounter View Post
    Sorry to crash this thread, it's just so shocking and new. You think cancer is the worst thing but at least they can do something for cancer....

    he has a little girl in kindergarten, it's heartbreaking.

    Has anyone got an (positive) info?
    My brother died from cancer at 18 and no one could do anything but sit back and watch him deteriorate for years so I don't think it's fair that you compare the two.

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    Thanks everyone for your replies.



    Quote Originally Posted by Boobycino View Post
    Or alternatively can you go for Christmas eve or boxing day?

    Sent from my GT-I9300 using BubHub
    We did ask that but they can't fit us in until next year a week before our daughters birthday which is in feb

    Quote Originally Posted by youmake3 View Post
    Poor thing. I know how you feel as I have a sister with a mental illness who ruins everything. There was the threat that she would be there this Christmas but as it is my sons first Christmas I agreed to go with conditions that if she starts she leaves and nobody is to comment about her looks or behaviour (anorexia). Thankfully she decided not to come.

    Could you make rules to keep things civil? I would still go for the kids TBH.

    Hope it works out

    Sent from my GT-I9100 using BubHub
    I don't think i could be civil after everything i have heard, Read and seen. I would still go for the kids but i don't want to put them in a situation which could make there christmas worse then if we didn't go

    Quote Originally Posted by αληθη View Post
    Oh from what you said I'd rather disappoint my children then subject them to a women who may say some very horrible things to them
    That is what i am scared of. If she is able to send me nasty messages on Facebook etc when we have never met and i was pregnant goes to show she wouldn't have changed in 3 years. I dont think so any way.

    Quote Originally Posted by mummy2lilly View Post
    I too couldn't be a civil person if i had ever heard something like that about my children. I see everyone here thinks you should go but i see it as no one that is stating you should go seem to put their children first if they were in this position. I tell you now if i was i wouldn't go. Would you rather have a nice quite christmas at home with your children and making it as special as possible or going to a christmas lunch with your BIL and FIL and hating every second of it. Not only that there would most likely be a fight if they have spoken for 6 years and then you being told that " Your children should have been still born" That is just plain terrible and wouldn't put my children through it.

    OP you can still make christmas special by having something for lunch they you may not have very often. Good Luck
    Thank you Mummy2lilly thats how i do feel.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gothel View Post
    Oh ok your second post clears it up. Yeah I can see how you would struggle to be in the same room. If it's really not worth it I would do as app suggested and do the say before our after with bil, that way the kids don't miss out
    We have asked can we come christmas eve or boxing day or they can come to our place we was told sorry we are to busy and we really want My husband's sister here because she has test results regarding her pregnancy. She is only 6 weeks so not to sure what results they will be.
    I never was asked once how my pregnancy was Nor did they seem to care when my husband was telling them about how my appointments were and when i was bleeding at 25 weeks all they said was OH. I heard them on the phone at the time ( this was my FIL) who said that My BIL has always been kind and wanted to know all about my pregnancy etc. But FIL has never cared about my pregnancy and wants to be around the grand-children when it suits him. But it seems now his daughter is pregnant the whole world must stop what they are doing and place her first.


    Quote Originally Posted by Bubs'n'Roses View Post
    Don't go. And tell everyone the reason why. Organise another day to go celebrate the holidays.

    Your Christmas isn't ruined. You've got your own lovely family and neither you or your husband are a nasty piece of work like this SIL.
    We did tell them why and as i wrote above they said they really wanted her there for test results regarding her 6 week pregnancy.
    My husband said the same thing that he thinks we are doing the right thing by not going other wise it would bring us down to her level by ruining everyone elses christmas with all the tension that would be in the room




    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Can I ask how certain are you that you have an accurate understanding of the facts? There's a lot of he said she said. Youve never met her yet so and so told you she said this and that. Is there any way things have been misinterpreted and blown out of proportion? If so, might as well give things another chance...
    I am 110% certain on all the faccts, I have read Faccebook messages, Letters, heard phone calls my husband had recorded i have even seen police reports.

    Quote Originally Posted by beancounter View Post
    Mine is ruined too.

    my little brother who is happily married with 2 young daughters has just been diagnosed with motor neuron disease. Real life changer....
    Oh sorry to hear. My rant sounds selfish compared to yours. I wish your family a merry christmas and an ourstanding 2013

    Quote Originally Posted by SassyMummy View Post
    I think the adult options are to suck it up and go, despite not liking her. Adults do this all the time.

    But you want to enjoy your Christmas, right? So don't go. Make your OWN celebration at home... it's not too late to organise something for just you, your husband and your children. Then see the relatives sometime soon afterwards... maybe Boxing Day, or maybe later still. Have a BBQ get-together or something.

    If people in my family don't get along - too bad. I invite them all. If they want to act all childish and declare they're not coming if so-and-so is, then whatever. They can go sulk and be little children elsewhere. I'm not picking sides because of their issues.

    It just so happens that most of my family (on both sides) bug me, so this year, we're avoiding them all on Christmas Day. We can see them either side, but ACTUAL Christmas Day will be spent with just DP and DD... away from all family dramas. I'll suck it up and be nice either side of Christmas, but I want to actually enjoy my Christmas Day.

    That is right i do want to enjoy christmas and not have to worry what if this happens or that happens.


    Thanks everyone for all your posts.
    Last edited by strawberry apple cheesecake; 20-12-2012 at 13:47.


 

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