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  1. #1
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    Unhappy Christmas is ruined :(

    Hi everyone,

    Our plans for Christmas has been ruined.
    We were meant to go to my husband's brothers on Christmas day. We get a phone call last night saying is it okay if our sister comes of Christmas day. My husband said straight out no. He doesn't get along with his sister and hasn't spoken to her for 6 years. So my brother in-law goes on that their sister invited her self and wants to spend Christmas at brother in laws house he didn't say no to her. Mind you this was talked about 2 weeks ago and we only find out last night that she is going. My husband feels a little depressed about it because he only see's his brother once a month if we are lucky. My husband seems to think the problem is because their father lives with his brother which of course he is going to want to see his daughter. We wouldn't complain so much if they lived near us but they do live 3 hours away so everything needs to be planned out. The children were excited to be able to see their uncle and grand-dad and we don't know how to break it to them that they wont be. We have no one else to spend Christmas with as my family are interstate and my husband doesn't talk to his mum as she went crazy.

    I think My husband feels quite depressed as the children don't get to see any family apart from us every day and it gets them to have a talk to a different member of their family. if we knew this was going to be the case we would have went interstate for Christmas but that is to late to organize as my husband can't take time off work now and getting flights and accommodation would be a night mare now.

    I feel really bad for my husband and children. And feel i have to make this Christmas special for them some how.

    vent over

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Christmas is ruined :(

    That's a shame but TBH if it was me I would still go. You don't have to sit down and chat to her the whole time, be civil and say hello etc and then spend time with BIL and FIL? This will only ruin your Xmas if you let it.

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  4. #3
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    Default Christmas is ruined :(

    I would still go.
    I have siblings I don't talk to for many reasons, but I'm not going to ruin an event that my child is excited to go to all because I can't stand a family member.
    Keep it civil and go for your children.

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    Default Re: Christmas is ruined :(

    I agree, you should still go. Put the childrens needs before childish behaviour. Your husband and sil dont have to talk, but it is important to be with the rest of the family, so just go!!

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  7. #5
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    αληθη is offline BH name read as Aleethee
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    Default Christmas is ruined :(

    I would go too. My exSIL absolutely hated me but ex and I still went to his mums for Christmas last year and exSIL didn't talk to me that day which was fine.

    Of course have a plan if she starts to cause dramas.

  8. #6
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    To be honest i have never met her and don't ever want to from what i have been told both from his mother when we were talking to what my husband has said i wouldn't want to. She has bagged me out to my brother in law knowing she has never met me. She told my brother in law that my children should have been still born. There is alot more but i wont say them. Not only that she stole all my husband belongings and made a profit off them. I wouldn't want to put my children through meeting her as they pick up still if we feel uncomfortable or if my husband is annoyed.

    i am not making excuses but i couldn't be civil after knowing my children should have been still born.

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    Default Re: Christmas is ruined :(

    So not only does your dh not get along with your sil, but you are going to let her ruin it for your family? Spin it around the other way, you are ruining your bil and fil's Christmas by not being able to act like adults and be civil around someone that you dislike. This would be a perfect way to show your children that even though you dislike someone, you can still be nice to them.
    You never know, it may help to rebuild your relationship with her.

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  11. #8
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    Gothel is offline Skip the drama, stay with Mama!
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    Default Re: Christmas is ruined :(

    I would go to, you never know, maybe this is the chance for you dh & SIL to reconcile. I had family members who didn't speak for years, until another family member said "enough" and kinda tricked them into a meeting. They sorted it out that day and now their only regret is the time they wasted bring estranged.

    Besides all that your kids shouldn't miss out because of adult differences. I would go

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    Default Re: Christmas is ruined :(

    I think unless there's been something truly awful go on between them after 6 years surely he can suck it up and cope for the sake of the children.

    Anyway that's unfortunate. I hope you find a solution. Can you plan a Christmas day somewhere else? Like a picnic or to the beach or something?

    *edit* sorry I just read your next post. She sounds pretty awful.

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    Default Re: Christmas is ruined :(

    Or alternatively can you go for Christmas eve or boxing day?

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