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  1. #11
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    Oh geez, you've got a handful!!!

    I would definitely try separating them. Sounds like they're ganging together and feeding off each other, so to speak.

    I'd also try sending 1 to your Mum's house, or daycare or somewhere, while you spend one-on-one time with one of your twins by themselves. Coffee date with mum, etc. I know that will be so difficult with 3 kids to try and get 1 by themselves - but maybe they just need that individual time with you?

    I would think that they're not bratty kids, but maybe more acting out to get your attention. If they think its funny when you get mad at them, then I would assume they just want to see you yell and scream, rather than crying and getting scared when you hit the roof.

  2. #12
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    Oh and I forgot to add - with the poo - my 2 year old has done that a few times - not out of spite I don't think, more because he'd done a poo and wanted it out *shudder*

    We had one MAJOR poo catastrophe - walls, floors, furniture, curtains, cot, toys, books.....

    Ever since then EVERY TIME he goes to bed he wears a button-up singlet. EVERY single time. He cannot open the buttons, and instead he yells out that he's done a poo. The problem is the biggest they have is size 2, so soon we'll have to think of another option cause he's getting too big to wear them.

    A video monitor in their room is also VERY useful.

  3. #13
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    I feel for you . I'm exhausted too and I know that mixed in with the exhaustion is a feeling of guilt which makes it worse. I believe it's partly the age , my son who is 4 is coming out the other side of the vile 3 's and my 22 month old is at the beginning of the terrible twos. I also have a newborn . Some days I'm in tears too!

    One thing I will say is keep a food diary, my son cannot eat sultanas under any circumstances, he goes insane . Properly insane! He crys and screams and goes on a rampage of destruction for hrs . Also grapes, blue berries. Ice cream, juice made from reconstituted juice, the number 202and more. Pineapple is a disaster too!

    I strongly advise you to look up the website fedup.com or buy the book / DVD fed up with kids behavior by sue dengates. I didn't realise how many natural foods contain chemicals that some people cannot tolerate . It's made quite the difference in our lives.

    I also without fail give my two boys a pentivite omega 3 fish oil or two per day and I see a big difference . I get them from woolies . If I forget to give them in a few days they can become a bit more wild!

    My son got an autism diagnosis, and he is autistic but I feel very mildly now. A year ago the pediatrician who diagnosed him said moderate so slap bang in the middle for severity . My son was not talking and would scream a lot ( I know this is not your girls) but after making a huge effort to make as much food from scratch ( bought a thermomix, expensive but been worth it) and taking out bad things from the diet and supplementing with fish oil my son is talking and behavior ha improved out of sight.

    Good luck , look at the website and try to cut out what you can.

    Big hugs, it's a hard job when you have 3 or even 1 ! It's a 24/7 job and as much as you love them you can get really bogged down . Big hug xxx

    Ps I second the over the top praise for good behavior . It's hard though if there is poo all over the carpet ..... Big hug xx

  4. #14
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    How about PPP - positive parenting program. You can go to classes or buy the program online. It's my lifesaver with 4 yo twins.

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  6. #15
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    I'm a huge fan of Super Nanny Jo Frost's technique of time out. It has been the ONLY thing to work with DS. You say you've tried time out. Did you really truly honestly follow through with it? On some of the episodes they sometimes go as long as 2 hours putting the child back on the time out chair (or naughty spot as it's sometimes called). The longest DS spent on time out was about 30 minutes as I had to reset the timer so many times due to him getting up off the spot (I used the bottom step in the stairway). He's 5 so the aim is to have him stay put for 5 minutes, then he says sorry and we cuddle and move on. He gets a warning before time out, and quite often now a warning is enough to pull him into line and he behaves as he doesn't like time out. I really had no other option with DS as simply talking to him did NOTHING, and I just didn't know what else to do. I saw on Super Nanny how so many families got turned around (a lot of the kids behaving like your kids or worse), so I thought I'd try it and DS has improved HEAPS. So that's what I'd recommend, but you really do have to follow through and be consistent otherwise it won't work.

  7. #16
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    Default 3 and a half year old twins out of control...

    First of all, hugs to you. Hang in there!

    My LO is only 9 weeks, but I have taught a couple of extremely difficult students with similar behaviors to what you're describing. I agree with OP - I'd be initially looking at diet and sleep. Other than that, here are a couple of suggestions. I offer them with total respect to you as a parent - I'm not trying to teach you how to suck eggs, or whatever that saying is!

    As hard as it is, you need to try and ignore those behaviours that are designed to push your buttons. Don't give them the satisfaction. Go for a walk if you need to. When things have calmed down, be it minutes or hours later, then they are old enough to fix what they have caused, ie clean up mess etc. I'd split them up, so maybe one can clean up the mess (the ringleader if it is clear), and the other one can do a job with your husband/partner that you don't have time to do because you are fixing their mess. Something simple but boring like folding drying or something.

    Punishments are ineffective unless they are meaningful to the kids. I'd be using Christmas as an opportunity to take each of aside for a chat and find out and buy their absolute Christmas wish (with affordability considered), like some outside equipment or two or three favourite toys, or whatever they may be. Give them to them on Christmas Day, and have a wonderful, positive day together. In their cards you might even write, 'because I love it when you ...', and write two or three specific behaviours that you want them to focus on, or you think they can do well. Then you have a reference point for the future.

    Let them play with their things on Christmas/Boxing Day, then take them away. Explain that these are special gifts, and you're worried they might get broken or something because sometimes they don't think and do silly things.

    Now you have something over them - these favourite presents (or you might choose vouchers for privileges like computer/TV/going out for Cold Rock etc) that they can earn or they can lose. Catch them being good - if they do one of those behaviours that you wrote in their card then praise, praise, praise. Celebrate it. Use them against each other - 'look Mary, Dorothy used beautiful manners just then. Did you hear that? I love it when she says please and thank you. I'll have to get that doll out for you to play with before bed if you keep that up, Dorothy!' Etcetera.

    If one has been particularly naughty, take the other one and give them a treat while she gets her consequence. Reward, reward, reward, and give out fair consequences.

    Also, kids are very tuned in to conflict between parents and can play on that. It's important to seem to be a united front even if there are some conflicts behind closed doors.

    Sorry for the long response, but good luck, and look after yourself...

  8. #17
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    Default 3 and a half year old twins out of control...

    You got through having twin babies and have a third child? You are a legend to make it to this point!

    Sorry you are having a rough time. I hope this doesn't sound too simplistic but could you wait until the kiddies are in bed, grab a glass of wine and sit down with the hubby and watch a whole heap of Supernanny video's? Supernanny has some great tactics, and by watching different family scenarios you might pick up hints and tricks along the way. Also, you will see you are not alone and there is light at the end of the tunnel. You and hubby could chat along the way about what you think will work for you...

    Good luck....

  9. #18
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    I suggest you talk to your GP or MCHN or both as soon as possible. There's a MCHN help line too which can offer advice (in Victoria at least) and they can even offer advice in the middle of the night.

    If the girls are in childcare or Kinder you can talk to their teachers about getting help through services such as a pre-school field officer or similar. They are specially trained teachers from the council that come & help out teachers & parents with children with challenging behaviour.

    Looking at your signature you have a brand new bub and so this must be especially challenging. The 2 are definitely linked though. Expect a regression for a while in their behaviour, but from what you are saying in the OP you sound very stressed and so I think you need professional advice ASAP. With Christmas coming up fast you should be making calls for help today.

    All the best. You will all settle into the new norm (a new baby) soon, but it sounds like you're having a much rougher than usual transition.

  10. #19
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    Not sure if someone else has mentioned this but NSW has a Parentline 1300 1300 52. Not sure if it is the same but in Qld they can take you through the Triple P program over the phone.

  11. #20
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    Default Re: 3 and a half year old twins out of control...

    I'd definatly look into diet check out the fedup with food additives website

    Good luck, that must be so hard!

    **Mum, Dad, Big boy (Dec 08) and Baby girl (Feb 11)**


 

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