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  1. #31
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    I was just thinking it is a bitt different being repartnered for *some* of the questions. I might change/delete mine - I answered no to family friendly hours but I have the luxury of a partner who does the school run in the mornings so I can get here early, not really applicable to a single mum.

  2. #32
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    How often does your ex/s see the kids?

    1 night per fortnight (12 on Saturday - 4 ish on Sunday)...most of the time. Every now and then, it can go a month between visits if he cancels.

    What percentage of care do you have?

    not sure what it works out as

    Do you wish ex/s would see child/ren more often?

    yes and no. I wish he would be willing to do 2 nights but he refuses as he would have to take DS to Karate on Saturday morning and he says it is a "hassle". I wish he would be more willing to get involved in DS's life and not just take him for the fun stuff.

    Are there any circumstances that prevent ex/s from seeing children more often (such as DV, work etc)

    I get the feeling there are some issues with his new wife (he is not allowed to do anything alone with DS) but I am not sure if that is him manipulating the situation.

    Who was main care provider prior to separation?

    Me
    Do you have family close by or do you rely on childcare?

    no family close by but not long after seperation I did move interstate to be close to my family for support. I stayed there about 2 years...bt ex was overseas (he left after we broke up) so it did not effect him. By the time he got back from overseas...i was living back in the city where we were living and where DS was born.

    Do you work or study?

    I study fulltime.

    If not, are there any barriers preventing you from doing so?

    The only reason I can go back and study is because I am remarried and I have a supportive husband. I tried while DS was younger and when I was single to go back and the courses did not fit into daycare hours and I could not have my mum having DS all the time. Also, financially, I could not have afforded it.

    Did you have career prior to having kids? And is it one that requires reskilling?

    Yes, I worked in Recruitment and HR for 10 years before having DS. I would need to reskill to go back but the hours are in no way family friendly so i am training as a teacher instead.

    Is your current career child friendly hours?

    as above.

  3. #33
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    How often does your ex/s see the kids?
    One night per week for two of them, not at all for two of them.

    What percentage of care do you have?
    76% for the two that see the donour, and 100% for the other two.

    Do you wish ex/s would see child/ren more often?
    Nope.

    Are there any circumstances that prevent ex/s from seeing children more often (such as DV, work etc)
    Work and social life get in his way sometimes...

    Who was main care provider prior to separation?
    Me.

    Do you have family close by or do you rely on childcare?
    Childcare.

    Do you work or study?
    Work.

    If not, are there any barriers preventing you from doing so?
    n/a.

    Did you have career prior to having kids? And is it one that requires reskilling?
    I've worked, studied, and had my kids since I left school.

    Is your current career child friendly hours?
    Not really.

    ------------------------

    Hey OP, thanks for asking this question. It's nice to take a moment to answer questions about my family. Not many people ask about this kind of thing. It made me feel special
    Last edited by Willow; 17-12-2012 at 15:20.

  4. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Willow For This Useful Post:

    ItWasntMe  (17-12-2012),SassyMummy  (17-12-2012)

  5. #34
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    Well I'm certainly not a money-hungry b*tch. My ex pays NOTHING towards DD and hasn't for many years now.

    I could probably whinge and nag at CSA to try and get CS from him, but I don't, because I know the girl he's with wears the pants, and she'll be angry about it, and try to "get back" at me for it if I try... and I don't want that to happen in DD's life. I fear they'll demand visitation, which would mean international flights... and there is NO WAY IN HELL I am agreeing to send my daughter overseas without me, ever. Even if that was never ordered, they still might come here, and I'm not handing her over to someone she knows hasn't bothered to even call her in the past several years... she would be scared, and the trip would be short-lived. She'd spend time with him, meet her brother... then watch as they left and didn't come back for another year or more (because flights to the UK will never be cheap). So screw that. I'm deciding to avoid getting CS from him in order to avoid heartache and drama for my daughter.

    I would certainly appreciate child support... but not with all the strings that would no doubt come attached to that. If he wanted to see her because he loved and cared about her, then that would be fine. But he's proven he doesn't give a stuff, so it's now a matter of protecting her, and if that means we go without child support, then that's the way it has to be.

  6. #35
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    Default Few questions for single parents

    Quote Originally Posted by SassyMummy View Post
    Well I'm certainly not a money-hungry b*tch. My ex pays NOTHING towards DD and hasn't for many years now.
    I don't think people who do claim CS are money hungry. I get what would be considered substantial amount (when ex pays). All of it and lots more go towards the care of our child. I have 100% care. At $150 a week, it works out less then $1 an hour for my care of our son. I pay rent, food and petrol then the rest goes to specialists for our child and I would spend more then $150 a week on specialists!

  7. #36
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    I know it was in the single section but I've been single before and have children to an ex so thought my answers might be relevant here too which is why I asked.

    How often does your ex/s see the kids?

    Was every second weekend but that's now extented every second thurs afternoon till Tuesday after school.

    What percentage of care do you have?

    I think it works out that I have 63% care, once you factor in a week here and there that he takes them in the school holidays.

    Do you wish ex/s would see child/ren more often?

    Not really I think it's pretty fair the way it is.

    Are there any circumstances that prevent ex/s from seeing children more often (such as DV, work etc)

    Yes that I draw the line at 50/50 shared care. I think every second extended weekend is as far as I'll go. He takes them every monday and thursday nights for martial arts as well then drops them back, so that plus the week during the school holidays is plenty in my mind.

    Who was main care provider prior to separation?

    Me I was a stay at home mum.

    Do you have family close by or do you rely on childcare?

    I don't rely on anyone. We've never done childcare.

    Do you work or study?

    No. I have since had two more children I need to be at home for. I have one more year at home before I'm free to persue my career - can't wait!

    If not, are there any barriers preventing you from doing so?

    Two more children.

    Did you have career prior to having kids? And is it one that requires reskilling?

    No I did not.

    Is your current career child friendly hours?

    N/A

  8. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by SassyMummy View Post
    But he's proven he doesn't give a stuff, so it's now a matter of protecting her, and if that means we go without child support, then that's the way it has to be.
    Yep. We have a certain arrangement which means I go without a reasonable amount of CS to ensure DS's safety and wellbeing.

    I fear once I have a baby and have to give up work and my income drops, his CS rate will increase. Not quite sure what to do there because I will need the CS to pay for a portion of DS's needs, but will have to deal with the bullsh!t from the ex. Hard to know what to do.

  9. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by ItWasntMe View Post
    I don't think people who do claim CS are money hungry. I get what would be considered substantial amount (when ex pays). All of it and lots more go towards the care of our child. I have 100% care. At $150 a week, it works out less then $1 an hour for my care of our son. I pay rent, food and petrol then the rest goes to specialists for our child and I would spend more then $150 a week on specialists!
    Of course people who accept CS aren't money hungry! It just seems to be the sentiment of those who are anti single-mother.

  10. The Following User Says Thank You to SassyMummy For This Useful Post:

    HugsBunny  (18-12-2012)


 

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