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  1. #11
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    How often does your ex/s see the kids?
    He has her every second weekend and sometimes sees her at other times, it varies week to week and just depends on what he's got going on.

    What percentage of care do you have?
    I'm not sure what it works out to - 85%?

    Do you wish ex/s would see child/ren more often?
    Yes and no. I wish he could take some of the pressure off during the week. Then again, he's not that great at organising her for school, or looking after her generally (doesn't have a proper bed for her at his place, lets her stay up till all hours and only feeds her junk food) so it's probably best that I stay in control most of the time.

    Are there any circumstances that prevent ex/s from seeing children more often (such as DV, work etc)
    Ex's schedule is all over the place. He is working three casual jobs at the moment as he is just starting out in his career and trying to get a foot in to get a permanent job in the industry. If he gets a permanent job and regular hours, he may be able to work in some more time with him and DD - whether it will actually happen is another question.

    Who was main care provider prior to separation?
    Hmm, complicated. I worked and Ex studied. He looked after DD while I was at work, but I looked after her the rest of the time, so based purely on hours then I would say it was me.

    Do you have family close by or do you rely on childcare?
    I have lots of family around but they all work. DD went to childcare 4 days a week until she started school, now she goes to before and after care 4 days a week.

    Do you work or study?
    Yes I work full time.
    Did you have career prior to having kids? And is it one that requires reskilling?
    Yes, I am a lawyer. Not sure what "reskilling" means in this context. If I took an extended break (ie more than 1 year maternity leave) then yes I think there are a few things I would need to do to re-gain my practising certificate.

    Is your current career child friendly hours?
    Not in the slightest. Even if I drop DD as soon as before care opens and pick her up from after care at closing time, I am still the one "leaving early". I often work from home in the evenings.
    Last edited by shelle65; 17-12-2012 at 17:00.

  2. #12
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    How often does your ex/s see the kids? BF has DD for half of each school holidays.
    What percentage of care do you have? 87%
    Do you wish ex/s would see child/ren more often? No but I do wish he'd call/skype her more often.
    Are there any circumstances that prevent ex/s from seeing children more often (such as DV, work etc) Apparently. Although the step mum looks after DD if she's there and her BF is working.
    Who was main care provider prior to separation? Me
    Do you have family close by or do you rely on childcare? DD is school age, but if i need help I ask my parents (rarely).
    Do you work or study? Both. Working as a teacher aide (school hours) and studying for my teacher aide qualifications.
    If not, are there any barriers preventing you from doing so?
    Did you have career prior to having kids? And is it one that requires reskilling? No, just general possitions (retail, pub etc).
    Is your current career child friendly hours?
    Yep. It is so hard to get the hours but when you do, its so worth it.

  3. #13
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    How often does your ex/s see the kids?
    - a handful of times per year, his choice (family functions at xmas/birthdays)

    What percentage of care do you have?
    - can't remember but in reality it's probably about 99.99%, according to CSA it's less (he won't inform them of the truth since he stopped access)

    Do you wish ex/s would see child/ren more often?
    - no. I used to though, until DS started showing some strange/worrying behaviours upon returning from his dad's house

    Are there any circumstances that prevent ex/s from seeing children more often (such as DV, work etc)
    - his dad is disinterested in the responsibility

    Who was main care provider prior to separation?
    - I was the ONLY care provider, dad was never around

    Do you have family close by or do you rely on childcare?
    - after school care

    Do you work or study?
    - work fulltime

    Did you have career prior to having kids? And is it one that requires reskilling?
    - yes

    Is your current career child friendly hours?
    - no

  4. #14
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    How often does your ex/s see the kids?
    He doesn't, and although we talk, have agreed that its probably in the best interest of our child.

    What percentage of care do you have?
    100 percent.

    Do you wish ex/s would see child/ren more often?
    I did for the first year, but now I'm happy that he is not in the picture.

    Are there any circumstances that prevent ex/s from seeing children more often (such as DV, work etc)
    No.

    Do you have family close by or do you rely on childcare?
    Childcare

    Do you work or study?
    Yes to both.

    Is your current career child friendly hours?
    Yes.

  5. #15
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    No longer single but...

    How often does your ex/s see the kids? He doesn't. His choice, not mine. He moved overseas to be with a girl a bit over 6 months after we split. He hasn't seen DD since then (that was 3.5 years ago).

    What percentage of care do you have? 100%.

    Do you wish ex/s would see child/ren more often? There's no yes or no to this... it's more, I wish he didn't move overseas for a girl, giving up his child for that... because that's bullsh*t and something only scum would do. I wish she had a chance to see him. BUT... I would want that to be regular and ongoing. Not a visit every 6 months or something... that's not up to scratch and when he went big breaks between seeing her (before he moved), I saw how it affected her. It was better for her to not see him at all, than to have him come and go as he pleased, with long intervals in between.


    Are there any circumstances that prevent ex/s from seeing children more often (such as DV, work etc) Yes, the fact he moved overseas. Otherwise, I live about 40 mins drive from his previous residence, so it's not actually a long-distance visit or anything, and I was always accommodating to his working hours.
    Who was main care provider prior to separation? Me, absolutely. He would occasionally do small tasks if I nagged enough.
    Do you have family close by or do you rely on childcare? No, when I was living with my ex it was about 1hr drive to my mothers... so while I could organise babysitting well in advance it was never, 'I need to go out, can you drop round in a few?' or anything. It was reserved for special occasions only. I just used daycare when I decided I needed a break post-split.
    Do you work or study? I've just finished study, and I work now. I didn't when I was immediately single, or while I was in a relationship with my ex though. It wasn't financially viable.
    If not, are there any barriers preventing you from doing so? When I was WITH my ex, it wasn't something I could do financially if I wanted to (I didn't, I wanted to be with my daughter and raise her myself). When I was single, I didn't drive so that made life much harder than it would be if I had a car. Working wasn't really a possibility when transport is very limited and you cannot drive.
    Did you have career prior to having kids? And is it one that requires reskilling? No. I was 19 when I fell pregnant. I fell pregnant while working part time and studying.
    Is your current career child friendly hours? Not particularly, but i am repartnered. If I was single, I'd probably be living quite close to my mother and might be able to rely on a combination of her and daycare to help get me by though.

  6. #16
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    How often does your ex/s see the kids? Every Friday and every second weekend

    What percentage of care do you have? 70%

    Do you wish ex/s would see child/ren more often? Yes and No

    Are there any circumstances that prevent ex/s from seeing children more often (such as DV, work etc) Work, his social life.

    Who was main care provider prior to separation? I was

    Do you have family close by or do you rely on childcare? I have family who can look after DS but he does go to FDC when i work

    Do you work or study? Work 9-3 5 days/week

    If not, are there any barriers preventing you from doing so? N/A

    Did you have career prior to having kids? And is it one that requires reskilling? I was working my way up in Insurance, but I happily chose to walk away as I didnt want to go home thinking about work.

    Is your current career child friendly hours? Yes, 9-3 and very understanding if my child needs me.

  7. #17
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    Default Re: Few questions for single parents

    How often does your ex/s see the kids? He has never met our DS of his own choice. We were never in a relationship though but knew eachother for a few years and were FWB for nearly 2yrs

    What percentage of care do you have? I have 100% of care

    Do you wish ex/s would see child/ren more often? I wish FOB would see DS. It would be the best thing ever if they ever developed a relationship

    Are there any circumstances that prevent ex/s from seeing children more often (such as DV, work etc) no

    Who was main care provider prior to separation? We were never together so myself

    Do you have family close by or do you rely on childcare? I have my nana but she doesnt really help. Also have my sister but she only watches him once a week and occassionally weekends.

    Do you work or study? I work casually but usually work between 60 and 80hrs a fortnight

    If not, are there any barriers preventing you from doing so? NA

    Did you have career prior to having kids? Not a career buti did have a job i enjoyed.
    And is it one that requires reskilling? No

    Is your current career child friendly hours? Yes and no. They have shifts i could do but they have gone to all the people that have older(last years of high school or older) or no children. I rely on being called into work to get my hours up.

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  8. #18
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    How often does your ex/s see the kids?
    He has never met her.
    What percentage of care do you have?
    100%
    Do you wish ex/s would see child/ren more often?
    Yes, I would happily share care.
    Are there any circumstances that prevent ex/s from seeing children more often (such as DV, work etc)
    Not as far as I know, he chooses to remian overseas.
    Do you have family close by or do you rely on childcare?
    Childcare
    Do you work or study?
    I'm doing a PhD and work 1 day a week.
    Did you have career prior to having kids? And is it one that requires reskilling?
    I cannot work the shift patterns that my job required so I needed to retrain, which has been expensive and time consuming.
    Is your current career child friendly hours?
    Fairly.

  9. #19
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    Default Few questions for single parents

    [QUOTE=Bennos Mummy;6964578]How often does your ex/s see the kids? Every 2nd weekend, we share Xmas day, I've asked him to have half school holidays but he won't

    What percentage of care do you have? 76% thru CSA I think

    Do you wish ex/s would see child/ren more often? Yes, I would prefer to share care

    Are there any circumstances that prevent ex/s from seeing children more often (such as DV, work etc) He just isn't interested & will often go spend his weekend with them at his gf leaving them with his parents

    Who was main care provider prior to separation? Time wise was probably equal especially once they were at school

    [B]Do you have family close by or do you rely on childcare?No family support at all, I relied on CC but no longer need to

    Do you work or study? Always worked, full time was a disaster due to no support

    If not, are there any barriers preventing you from doing so? N/A

    Did you have career prior to having kids? And is it one that requires reskilling? no career had kids young, looking now for something I can be passionate about

    Is your current career child friendly hours? No I kind of just work when I can & figure it out from there

    I'm no longer single but my answers are based on being single mostly.
    My hat goes off to ALOT of the women on here because your lives do seem kind of difficult with difficult exs.

    I wasn't having a shot at anyone on the other thread. I'm aware that our situation is very much in the minority😃

  10. #20
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    Default Few questions for single parents

    How often does your ex/s see the kids?
    *never

    What percentage of care do you have?
    *100%

    Do you wish ex/s would see child/ren more often?
    *sometimes yes, it would be nice to have some downtime every week/fortnight. But it's better this way for a lot of reasons

    Are there any circumstances that prevent ex/s from seeing children more often (such as DV, work etc)
    *he just didn't care about staying in contact with them enough to make the effort

    Who was main care provider prior to separation?
    *Me

    Do you have family close by or do you rely on childcare?
    * I live an hour away from family, no childcare. Dd goes to kinder and next year school, ds is with me all the time. Every 2-3 months they have a sleepover at my parents

    Do you work or study?
    *planning on starting study when ds is in 4 year old kinder in 2014

    If not, are there any barriers preventing you from doing so?
    *right now, lack of money & time

    Did you have career prior to having kids? And is it one that requires reskilling?
    *no


 

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