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  1. #101
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kiplusthree View Post
    Are you reffering to Big Brother?
    wow - it's been a while since I've seen that show

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  3. #102
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    Quote Originally Posted by peanutmonkey View Post
    Sorry I read you saying that you believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that self esteem plays a part in why women dont want their partners watching pron as meaning that anyone who doesnt want their partners watching pron feels that way, in some way. apologies if you didnt mean that but thats how your post reads to me.
    You're right. I did say shadow of a doubt. I didn't add in that post that I meant USUALLY. I did say in a later post that I felt it was USUALLY the case. Sorry peanutmonkey

  4. #103
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    lambjam is offline Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!
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    Quote Originally Posted by FirstTimeMummy2012 View Post
    Again with the comparing apples and rockmelons. Bringing a third person into a relationship is not what we're talking about. We're talking about watching people we dont' know have sex. Stick within the topic of conversation please.
    This is where we completely disagree. Those genitals on the screen? They belong to another woman, the definition of a third person. I think it's fine that you don't see this as cheating, just as I think it's fine that swingers don't see what they do as cheating. But it doesn't mean your partner isn't involving himself with a real person. He is.

  5. #104
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    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    I actually think a dislike for the industry would have just as many women not liking it. Or just feeling off that her other half is watching @nal... there are limits, and he has crossed hers. I don't understand why talk of 'all men do it' entered this convo because it has nothing to do with the OP.

    No it isn't comparing apples and rockmelons. S3xuality is a complex and very very individual thing. What is ok in your books isn't necessarily ok in someone elses, that doesn't make them wrong...or you.
    Agreed. I don't believe anyone is wrong in this scenario. Oh and I never said all men do it. I said that ALL the men I've encountered in my 17 years in male dominated industries and growing up with my brother and his million friends and being with my DH and around his million and one friends, I've witnessed it for myself that ALL of these men were into porn. That is all.

  6. #105
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    Some may argue it is bringing a 3rd, 4th or 5th party into the relationship just on an emotional/mental level.
    Sorry delirium but I don't see it. Fair enough if you do, but IMO saying that watching two people have s*x on a screen is the same as cheating is just crazy to me.

  7. #106
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    Quote Originally Posted by lambjam View Post
    This is where we completely disagree. Those genitals on the screen? They belong to another woman, the definition of a third person. I think it's fine that you don't see this as cheating, just as I think it's fine that swingers don't see what they do as cheating. But it doesn't mean your partner isn't involving himself with a real person. He is.
    Yeah sorry lambjam but I just don't buy it. It's cool if you see it as involving yourself with someone if you're watching their bits on a screen but I think that's just ludicrous. It's your opinion and I respect that. IMO my DH isn't involving himself with any of these women just as I don't feel that I'm having a relationship with the men I watch when I sometimes have a loko at p o r n. He's not kissing her. He's not penetrating her. He's not talking to her. He's not touching her. He'll never see that same girl again. I just can't see the cheating factor in it. I think we have to agree to disagree on this one. Thank you for the friendly debate though. You've certainly opened my eyes to possibly looking at something in a new light so I'm always thankful for those sorts of debates. I won't take it on board this time but thank you anyway

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  9. #107
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    Quote Originally Posted by FirstTimeMummy2012 View Post
    Sorry delirium but I don't see it. Fair enough if you do, but IMO saying that watching two people have s*x on a screen is the same as cheating is just crazy to me.
    So... if your partner knew those people on the screen or was chatting to them it would be cheating? But if he doesn't it's not? I really don't see the distinction; he's either involving himself sexually with these people or he's not.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FirstTimeMummy2012 View Post
    Sorry delirium but I don't see it. Fair enough if you do, but IMO saying that watching two people have s*x on a screen is the same as cheating is just crazy to me.
    I didn't say it was cheating, I don't think it is. All I'm saying is that it isn't a stretch that there can be an idea that you are bringing someone else into the relationship on a mental level. If you don't see it that way cool, but others might.

    What annoys me about these threads is all these insinuations and judgments about what is going on in other people's relationships. What their motivations for not liking it are. Each to their own You are fine with it, that doesn't make your DH some pervert. I'm not fine with it and I'm not some sexually repressed frump with trust issues.... and I'm not saying you said all that, but these are the standard generalisations in these threads.

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  12. #109
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    Quote Originally Posted by lambjam View Post
    Actors filmed semi-naked isn't even in the same ballpark as actors filmed having intercourse.
    Yep. Acting is acting. They are not having sex. Stockings, lighting and camera angles make it look like they are. Porn is watching actual sex. There's a very big difference

  13. #110
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    Quote Originally Posted by lambjam View Post
    So... if your partner knew those people on the screen or was chatting to them it would be cheating? But if he doesn't it's not? I really don't see the distinction; he's either involving himself sexually with these people or he's not.
    Are we really going there again? For the last time. My DH does not watch people he knows. I'd kill him! He doesn't chat to these people. Again, I would chop his bits off. He watches random people (as do I sometimes) with his eyes and has a w*nk. Big deal! Do I think he's cheating on me by doing this? No I don't. There's nothing emotional about it. To him they are just people on a screen having s e x. Once he's done he doesn't give any of them a nother thought. It's a difference of opinion and we'll never agree on it so let's leave it there. You think it's cheating? No problem. I don't think you're right or wrong. I just find your opinion different to mine.


 

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