You can't pay for child care one week and not the other and I can't imagine what workplace would go wit that
Anyway research has shown alternating weeks isn't good for younger children
Obviously no situation is the same, but I think ALOT of situations could work if both parents were on board & actually wanted to give it a go.
I actually think we need a new lawyer but in all fairness i don't think it's in best interests of the child to be dragged thru court & basically be told choose between your parents & tell them your decision. In this case 50/50 would be best as then there is no choosing between mum & dad.
You keep saying that you think 50/50 has great benefits for all involved, including the children, but out of curiosity, what are these benefits in your opinion? Specifically the ones relating to the children?
Obviously this will always be an emotional issue and everyone has very strong opinions based on their own life experience - so there will never be a conclusive answer to this debate.
From my perspective, the single mothers I know, whether working or not, do appear to rely too much on the CS they receive from the ex as a source of income. Yes, it goes towards expenses like food and rent which benefit the child, but the sooner you find a way to support yourself and your child without it, the better - because it does have an expiry date when your child becomes an adult and needs to take responsibility for themselves financially. If you haven't worked for all that time, you are still going to have to find a way of supporting yourself - and you won't be very employable if your greatest skill is "loving your child".
My DH has a private arrangement with his ex in regards to child support, which works well for both parties. He pays less than what the original CSA assessment recommended, but does not claim any of the payments he is entitled to whilst the kids are in our care, which would effectively decrease hers - so she ends up with more cash in hand. It was not a joint decision for her to be a SAHM when they were still together - she simply didn't want to work, and that hasn't changed.
What I object to is the attitude of not seeking work (or simply more of it) because it would affect her Centrelink payments! I work full time, and she earns nearly as much as I do with all the different payments she claims, and yet she complains to our friends about how poor she is! So yeah, I resent the fact that my taxes fund her poor work ethic and others like her.
The kids are teenagers, the younger is more than capable of being home alone after school, and she receives funding from the DSC for the eldest with a disability, so she wouldn't even need to pay for care if she was working outside of school hours. And my thoughts aren't just about not liking DH's ex for many reasons - I don't agree with my own sister's excuse that they would only be $20 a week better off if she went back to work - it's still better than living off benefits! Kids who are exposed to childcare cope much better socially than those who are kept around mummy until the day they go to school (that's my professional opinion as a teacher).
Welfare is supposed to keep you sheltered and fed - not support a stay at home lifestyle. Even securing some regular part time work sends a positive message to your kids about self sufficiency and not constantly relying on others. Working parents still have the same houses to clean, laundry to do, appointments and school events to attend - SAHM the toughest job in the world? I think not.
I know some will come back at me with all the reasons under the sun to justify why they don't support themselves, but I don't need justification - someone can still be a good parent regardless of their employment status - it's your choice, but remember, my choice to be a working parent is just as valid.
I hate the single mother=low income=centrelink receipient that goes on here. There's a lot of middle class single mothers out there earning high salaries. I'm a single mother and I make $100k plus. And know a lot of others the same - please can we stop the generalizations.
i have shared care - I have her 364 days a year and he has her one (some years up to 3).
Last edited by beancounter; 16-12-2012 at 14:15.
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