Closed Thread
Page 40 of 42 FirstFirst ... 303839404142 LastLast
Results 391 to 400 of 415
  1. #391
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    2,129
    Thanks
    5,083
    Thanked
    1,220
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts

    Default Re: 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    Quote Originally Posted by ourbradybunch View Post
    Yep everything with CSA is legit, they know care percentage I think but I refuse him trying to reduce CS due to medical or travel expenses we incur/ pay I think it's nitpicking & childish. And it's actually a couple thousand extra we pay. But again I never have not would begrudge this😊

    We do not financially support his ex that was in response to the suggestion that he continues to support the arrangement they had as a couple, of her only working part time
    If that's your choice (to not get a reassessment) then you can't really complain about it. The system has that there to make it more fair, but you have to utilise it.

    Whether she works or not is no ones business but hers.

    It sounds like less than ideal situation for your husband, I realise it must be hard and frustrating. How old are the kids? Have they expressed that they would like to spend more time at your end?

  2. #392
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    22,848
    Thanks
    6,202
    Thanked
    16,895
    Reviews
    10
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Bubhub Blogger - Thanks100 Posts in a week
    and I should add before leaving this thread alone lol is if that the bio mum isn't working or married, then clearly her source of income is CL. We have a rule at 6 they have to do something with themselves. Which I think is fair but somewhat near sighted.

    So we are only talking a couple of years where bio mum is on SPP, and the bio dad is paying a bit more in CS.

    It's not like bio mum stays on SPP for 17 years and her ex is wholy support her. That CS is for the child. Technically is the govt that is supporting mum unless she's getting 1500 p/f in CS...

  3. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to delirium For This Useful Post:

    Deserama  (16-12-2012),Stiflers Mom  (16-12-2012)

  4. #393
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    4,222
    Thanks
    894
    Thanked
    3,219
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by ourbradybunch View Post
    Just because I didn't give birth to those kids doesn't mean I'd be happy for them to live in poverty.
    I didn't say that.

    Quote Originally Posted by ourbradybunch View Post
    As with all these threads the $$ aspect always becomes a focus & truth is it does impact greatly on the welfare of a child.
    I didn't say that either? Odd. Maybe have a re-read?

    Also you keep saying that if you guys had 50/50, then the mum could work fulltime without CC costs and all would be sunshine and lollipops and the children would live happily ever after.
    What happens when it's the week the mum has the kids for her week?
    Apologies if you have explained this already, I have not read all the replies, a certain members posts make my head hurt and I just can't concentrate properly afterwards.

    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    The ex hubby or taxpayer shouldn't pay for the luxury of you being a SAHM.
    OHHHH here we go. The almighty taxpayer.

  5. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to CMF For This Useful Post:

    atomicmama  (16-12-2012),mama and her little bearxxx  (16-12-2012),Stiflers Mom  (16-12-2012)

  6. #394
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    1,935
    Thanks
    393
    Thanked
    1,325
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    Anyway as it happens, all the partnered sahms cost the tax payer far more in FTb

    If every single partnered SAHM getting a higher rate of FTb returned to work, then the govt would save far more money than if the single sahms did.

  7. #395
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Sautéed with bacon
    Posts
    6,070
    Thanks
    271
    Thanked
    2,695
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts

    Default 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    I am out of this conversation. It is just too upsetting. I cannot support the idea that children should be taken from their stay at home mother or mother who does majority care, for the sake of 50/50 care. Taken from everything they have ever known, at a time when they may already be hurting by the separation. Sorry, but that is cruel, callous and makes no sense. It is a pro-father, but anti-child ideal at best.
    I am absolutely aghast!
    The thought of DS1 or my SS suddenly having to have a 50/50 custody arrangement just to make things "even", renders me speechless.
    They would both suffer irreparable emotional and psychological damage.
    Even my ex who is a drop kick parent would be able to see that.
    My DH is a fantastic Dad because he knew keeping his son in close proximity was NOT in his sons best interest (for reasons previously mentioned). Pretty selfless and courageous if you ask me.
    It's just a heartbreaking thought that people actually believe this.
    I admire those who make it work. But the attitudes of some posters is plain scary. It seems all about tit for tat, CS and making people "pay".
    The children seem forgotten in all of this.
    Last edited by faroutbrusselsprout; 16-12-2012 at 12:46.

  8. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to faroutbrusselsprout For This Useful Post:

    delirium  (16-12-2012),Deserama  (16-12-2012),HappyBovinexx  (16-12-2012),Stiflers Mom  (16-12-2012)

  9. #396
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    1,581
    Thanks
    748
    Thanked
    733
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    Quote Originally Posted by Stiflers Mom View Post
    If that's your choice (to not get a reassessment) then you can't really complain about it. The system has that there to make it more fair, but you have to utilise it.

    Whether she works or not is no ones business but hers.

    It sounds like less than ideal situation for your husband, I realise it must be hard and frustrating. How old are the kids? Have they expressed that they would like to spend more time at your end?
    I just think in regard to the 50/50 topic ALOT of her so called stumbling blocks for a better more financially stable life could be overcome. That was my point in relation to the thread, that I think 50/50 care can have great benefits. I don't care what amount of CS DH pays, and me personally I don't think it's fair to kids to have CS reduced based on medical expenses we believe are basic & necessary ie private health insurance, regular dental care, braces, prescription sunglasses & goggles. Things BM doesn't see as essential.
    I also think it sends a ****ty msg to the kids if dad wants to pay less CS due to expenses he has in seeing/calling them. Hope that makes sense.

    Kids are 9 & 12 & already question why they cannot live here. What do you say to a child who says I'm being a really good boy, maybe you can just keep me now😱

  10. #397
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    1,581
    Thanks
    748
    Thanked
    733
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    [QUOTE=CMF;6963472]I didn't say that.



    I didn't say that either? Odd. Maybe have a re-read?

    Also you keep saying that if you guys had 50/50, then the mum could work fulltime without CC costs and all would be sunshine and lollipops and the children would live happily ever after.
    What happens when it's the week the mum has the kids for her week?
    Apologies if you have explained this already, I have not read all the replies, a certain members posts make my head hurt and I just can't concentrate properly afterwards.

    I don't know? Shorter hours that week, alternate after schoolcare that week. I really don't know

  11. #398
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    On the farm :-)
    Posts
    288
    Thanks
    286
    Thanked
    130
    Reviews
    1

    Default 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    Quote Originally Posted by Chew the Mintie View Post
    A lot of men really do only want increased care so child support is reduced.
    Deleted
    Last edited by ItWasntMe; 16-12-2012 at 13:23.

  12. #399
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    2,129
    Thanks
    5,083
    Thanked
    1,220
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts

    Default Re: 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    Quote Originally Posted by faroutbrusselsprout View Post
    I am absolutely aghast!
    The thought of DS1 or my SS suddenly having to have a 50/50 custody arrangement just to make things "even", renders me speechless.
    They would both suffer irreparable emotional and psychological damage.
    Even my ex who is a drop kick parent would be able to see that.
    My DH is a fantastic Dad because he knew keeping his sob was NOT in his sons best interest (for reasons previously mentioned). Pretty selfless and courageous if you ask me.
    It's just a heartbreaking thought that people actually believe this.
    I admire those who make it work. But the attitudes of some posters is plain scary. It seems all about tit for tat, CS and making people "pay".
    The children seem forgotten in all of this.
    I agree, it's heartbreaking.

  13. #400
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    2,129
    Thanks
    5,083
    Thanked
    1,220
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts

    Default Re: 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    Quote Originally Posted by ourbradybunch View Post
    I just think in regard to the 50/50 topic ALOT of her so called stumbling blocks for a better more financially stable life could be overcome. That was my point in relation to the thread, that I think 50/50 care can have great benefits. I don't care what amount of CS DH pays, and me personally I don't think it's fair to kids to have CS reduced based on medical expenses we believe are basic & necessary ie private health insurance, regular dental care, braces, prescription sunglasses & goggles. Things BM doesn't see as essential.
    I also think it sends a ****ty msg to the kids if dad wants to pay less CS due to expenses he has in seeing/calling them. Hope that makes sense.

    Kids are 9 & 12 & already question why they cannot live here. What do you say to a child who says I'm being a really good boy, maybe you can just keep me now😱
    I think all I needed to see in your situation was what the kids wanted. I don't agree with 50/50 shared care unless the (older) child wants to try it. Are there court orders in place to stop a trial of it at least?


 

Similar Threads

  1. Adivse: RWH- shared care
    By madi83 in forum Seeking a Maternity Hospital
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 01-11-2012, 11:24
  2. Shared care and PHI
    By miniriz in forum Seeking a Maternity Hospital
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 27-09-2012, 14:58
  3. Shared care and PHI
    By miniriz in forum Seeking a Maternity Hospital
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 27-09-2012, 14:42

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Springfree Trampoline
Give the Ultimate Christmas Gift Springfree Trampoline
The World's Safest Trampoline™ is now also the world's first Smart Trampoline™. Sensors on the mat detect your every move and your jumps control fun, educational and active games on tablet. Secure the Ultimate Christmas Gift today!
sales & new stuffsee all
CarmelsBeautySecrets
Growing your own natural nails is easy. Years ago, I devised a simple and very effective technique which really helps boosts the nails' growth in as little as three days! And most importantly keeps them that way.
featured supporter
Ro and Co
Ro and Co kids cooking classes and parties are a fantastic way for children to experiment with food. The classes and parties are designed to be both educational and fun, giving your child the skills they need to be confident and creative in the kitchen.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!