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  1. #361
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    Default Re: 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    Quote Originally Posted by ourbradybunch View Post
    If a woman leaves say because she isn't happy just because, or she's had an affair ( DH example ) why should an ex partner support their previous arrangement of them being a SAHM?

    That's very flawed, I'm pretty sure it would be unreasonable of me to expect my ex to support my decision to be SAHM when I'm now married to another man???
    But how is he supporting her? Is he paying all her living costs? How much CS are we getting bitter over here?

  2. #362
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lovemyfam View Post
    Yeah when I did my degree I was so glad when it was over. It feels really good to look back and say damn I did it. I dont know about you but there were times I thought I was never going to make it
    Yep, feel like that a lot. But I have done well. 5 units left, mostly distinctions, offer of honors and offer of two scholarships.

    Quote Originally Posted by Chew the Mintie View Post
    It's a stupid Idea because if means the woman is an unpaid babysitter who will never be able to get a job herself.

    Taking care of children while they are asleep is not 50 / 50.
    Plus the nightmare of working out CS. Human Services would deem the children in the mothers care if they were being looked after by the mother during the day during dad's care. it still wouldn't be 50/50.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lovemyfam View Post
    reskill? Women are plenty skilled enough to do anything a man can do they dont need reskilling that sounds bad.
    Yep, taking time out to look after children can mean difficultly getting back into the workforce. Especially if you are older. This is why I have done a degree as I was over 30 with no skills or qualifications and had not worked since my child was born. The reality is it would be difficult to get work that would get me completely off welfare. And pretty much every single parent on welfare I know has that as an ultimate goal.

  3. #363
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lovemyfam View Post
    yes I do but sometimes we have to take jobs that take no skill and suck big time to feed our families. Like scrubbing a nasty smelly butcher shop I didnt need reskilling for that there are plenty of jobs you can just walk into not needing any skills I dont think we expect anyone to jump into being a doctor or anything
    So are you still working 3 jobs?

  4. #364
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Well the woman needs to decide it she wants to be an unpaid babysitter (SAHM) or a working parent. She can't sit on the fence and then whine if the dad tries to help her out via as close to 50-50 as he can.
    if the prior arrangement was that one partner works and earns money, one stats home and raises the kids, then they split.... The partner who works still gets to work but the other has to make the massive adjustment back to work also?? How do the kids win here?? The only person who wins is the current breadwinner.

  5. #365
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    Default 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    Quote Originally Posted by BlackEyedPea View Post
    if the prior arrangement was that one partner works and earns money, one stats home and raises the kids, then they split.... The partner who works still gets to work but the other has to make the massive adjustment back to work also?? How do the kids win here?? The only person who wins is the current breadwinner.
    When you split the deal is off and you have to come to a new arrangement for looking after your kids.

    Adults have to work to support themselves, that's life.

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  7. #366
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    Default 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    It's more complex than that though. A couple is married, he works, she stays home with a few small kids. They are both happy with that. They break up, there are no CC places, the min wage she would get won't even cover her expenses, so she studies.

    As to single mum demanding school hours - what do you expect them to do? after school care is expensive and is the thing that tips single mums over the edge. I find it strange some SM's here go on that the hundred or 2 their husband pays in CS per fortnight is this huge amount yet scoff at double or quadruple that, that she has to pay for care Even stranger is these women who are at home say it's not worth it to work bc of all the costs 9and I hear that 100%) so it's ok for them to stay home yet the bio mum is expected to work min wage paying 80% of her wages in care but oh well be a grown up and suck it up...
    Depends on where you live regarding CC costs. Single parents receive a much higher CCR so out of pocket CC expenses are much smaller than a non single mother & then isn't there the rebated amount that's refunded every 3 months?? I haven't used CC for awhile so I'm probably wrong.

    Again my point regarding 50/50 care is that for us BM would likely not need any after school care if she shared care the 50/50 with DH which is what this thread is about.

  8. #367
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    When you split the deal is off and you have to come to a new arrangement for looking after your kids.

    Adults have to work to support themselves, that's life.
    And tough luck for the kids?

    Yep got it!

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    HappyBovinexx  (16-12-2012),Stiflers Mom  (16-12-2012)

  10. #368
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    When you split the deal is off and you have to come to a new arrangement for looking after your kids.

    Adults have to work to support themselves, that's life.
    I disagree - because it's mostly women and chikdren in this situation who lose. Maybe both parents should be forced to find adequate PT work and if the dads work don't offer that kind of flexibility then too bad he'll have to get a job at k-mart or somewhere that do.
    Last edited by Ellewood; 16-12-2012 at 11:49.

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    ermergerd  (16-12-2012),HappyBovinexx  (16-12-2012),Stiflers Mom  (16-12-2012)

  12. #369
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    Default 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    Quote Originally Posted by Stiflers Mom View Post
    But how is he supporting her? Is he paying all her living costs? How much CS are we getting bitter over here?
    I am in no way bitter about CS, never have been, never will be. My DH pays CS plus ALL medical expenses PLUS BM does not have her children any school holidays so does not have the expense of vacation care.

    This is in addition to everything we provide within our house.

    I don't appreciate the assumption I'm bitter over CS at all. Even within this relationship I've again worked 2 jobs due to our financial commitment to ALL the children😢

  13. #370
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackEyedPea View Post
    How do the kids win here?? The only person who wins is the current breadwinner.
    They don't But the winner is the bio dad and the new wife who get to pay less CS, and get to see the ex struggle to pay her rent bc care is killing her... and of course using CL is out of the question too. As I said, vindictiveness.

    As a side, I don't always agree with FOBS opinions on step parenting (but do admire her honesty), but god it was so nice to read a step mum say that they accepted her need to move and have embraced the situation. She may not like being part of a blended family but at least there is some empathy and sense there...

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