Closed Thread
Page 35 of 43 FirstFirst ... 253334353637 ... LastLast
Results 341 to 350 of 426
  1. #341
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    3,525
    Thanks
    1,890
    Thanked
    2,539
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by ourbradybunch View Post
    That I get, but the reality is that many a non single mother works. Does a woman get the expected right to not work just coz she's a single mum.
    i believe so yes - especially if that was the agreed parental arrangement prior to the split. Why should she how forced to make such a drastic changes to her situation (like separation isn't a big enough adjustment with kids involved!) just because they are no longer a couple? If he's a decent human being he should be fine with this too. Just because they separated shouldn't mean they shouldn't get to keep their arranger going. I don't necessarily mean forever though but definitely for the near future or however long it takes to re-skill if the kids are older..(?)

  2. The Following User Says Thank You to Ellewood For This Useful Post:

    Stiflers Mom  (16-12-2012)

  3. #342
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    12,708
    Thanks
    9,558
    Thanked
    12,690
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 9/1/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 7/11/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 3/10/14100 Posts in a week

    Default 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lovemyfam View Post
    The other option that could work is mom watches the kids during the day on dads week and dad picks them up for the night. Then they are cared for by mom during the day and dad doesn't lose any time with them because they would have been in daycare anyway. This would be the option for me although I would still like the baby to go to daycare a day or two a week since I have seen the day care centers here are so much better than what they were in the US
    That's a great idea. It would involve mothers putting aside any hatred for their ex though.

  4. #343
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Victoria
    Posts
    2,610
    Thanks
    1,023
    Thanked
    511
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Chew the Mintie View Post
    Lovemyfam that is the most ridiculous idea ever.
    Why? The child gets to spend ample time with both parents, doesn't have to go into day care and mom gets breaks and support with the children. I think it would work great for us. This is not for babies of course but no reason a young child cant benefit from it.

  5. #344
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    1,935
    Thanks
    393
    Thanked
    1,325
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    Just like to point out, that working as a single mother is so much harder than working when single. It really is. Working when partnered you can have your partner pick up children if you need to work late, do half the day care runs, help with housework, take turns staying home when kids are sick etc.

  6. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Chew the Mintie For This Useful Post:

    HappyBovinexx  (16-12-2012),ItWasntMe  (16-12-2012),Stiflers Mom  (16-12-2012)

  7. #345
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    1,935
    Thanks
    393
    Thanked
    1,325
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    It's a stupid Idea because if means the woman is an unpaid babysitter who will never be able to get a job herself.

    Taking care of children while they are asleep is not 50 / 50.

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to Chew the Mintie For This Useful Post:

    HappyBovinexx  (16-12-2012)

  9. #346
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    1,581
    Thanks
    748
    Thanked
    733
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    Quote Originally Posted by Stiflers Mom View Post
    Thanks for explaining further. You said they went to court? What did the court rule for their situation? Is she going against this?
    Our primary goal was that they not be moving 6 hrs away. We achieved this, there is ALOT more but I'd prefer not to go in to it, for the most part court orders are followed, phone calls etc are not. Our lawyer has advised at this stage to not go back to court. It is rather frustrating😨

  10. The Following User Says Thank You to ourbradybunch For This Useful Post:

    Stiflers Mom  (16-12-2012)

  11. #347
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    12,708
    Thanks
    9,558
    Thanked
    12,690
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 9/1/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 7/11/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 3/10/14100 Posts in a week

    Default 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    Quote Originally Posted by Chew the Mintie View Post
    It's a stupid Idea because if means the woman is an unpaid babysitter who will never be able to get a job herself.

    Taking care of children while they are asleep is not 50 / 50.
    Well the woman needs to decide it she wants to be an unpaid babysitter (SAHM) or a working parent. She can't sit on the fence and then whine if the dad tries to help her out via as close to 50-50 as he can.

  12. #348
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Victoria
    Posts
    2,610
    Thanks
    1,023
    Thanked
    511
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by BlackEyedPea View Post
    i believe so yes - especially if that was the agreed parental arrangement prior to the split. Why should she how forced to make such a drastic changes to her situation (like separation isn't a big enough adjustment with kids involved!) just because they are no longer a couple? If he's a decent human being he should be fine with this too. Just because they separated shouldn't mean they shouldn't get to keep their arranger going. I don't necessarily mean forever though but definitely for the near future or however long it takes to re-skill if the kids are older..(?)
    reskill? Women are plenty skilled enough to do anything a man can do they dont need reskilling that sounds bad.

  13. #349
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    22,848
    Thanks
    6,200
    Thanked
    16,892
    Reviews
    10
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Bubhub Blogger - Thanks100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by ourbradybunch View Post
    That I get, but the reality is that many a non single mother works. Does a woman get the expected right to not work just coz she's a single mum.

    I have to be honest I get ****ed that single mothers also assume its their god given right to only work jobs that are school hours. That is a luxury & ALOT of good luck for the majority of women.

    Please keep in mind that not only am I female but I've been a single mother & now part of a blended family. I'm coming from an unbiased place but obviously have some strong opinions
    It's more complex than that though. A couple is married, he works, she stays home with a few small kids. They are both happy with that. They break up, there are no CC places, the min wage she would get won't even cover her expenses, so she studies.

    As to single mum demanding school hours - what do you expect them to do? after school care is expensive and is the thing that tips single mums over the edge. I find it strange some SM's here go on that the hundred or 2 their husband pays in CS per fortnight is this huge amount yet scoff at double or quadruple that, that she has to pay for care Even stranger is these women who are at home say it's not worth it to work bc of all the costs 9and I hear that 100%) so it's ok for them to stay home yet the bio mum is expected to work min wage paying 80% of her wages in care but oh well be a grown up and suck it up...

  14. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to delirium For This Useful Post:

    HappyBovinexx  (16-12-2012),Stiflers Mom  (16-12-2012)

  15. #350
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    73
    Thanks
    11
    Thanked
    6
    Reviews
    0

    Default 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    In reality 50/50 care can work, but not for everyone. I have a 7 yo old DS who I have 50/50 care of with his father. It is working well now, but it has taken a lot of work to get to this point and will continue to take a lot of work, just as parenting does when the parents are together. There are some different rules, but the important ones are pretty much the same. Again, even when the parents are together, their rules and how they enforce them won't always be the same. Also, children can adapt to having slightly different rules and routines, think about when they go to school, or a friends place, or to their grandparents. For DS, we both have clothes, toys, school uniforms, lunch boxes etc, so there is nothing for day to day living that he needs being sent back and forth, only special things that he wants to take with him. It is much easier and more stable this way.

    XP doesn't work whereas I work and study. Someone has brought up about CS. I actually have to pay XP CS. Every situation is different. I do get annoyed about having to pay. The reason is, we both have the same opportunity to work, etc, and I earn a measly part time wage while I study to provide a better future for myself and my family. He lives with his parents, while myself and my new partner have a mortgage and are about to start our family.

    50/50 may not work for everyone. For now, it is working for us. In the future this may change, as the child's needs change. First and foremost, we need to remember what is best for THE CHILD. And put THE CHILD'S needs first. It doesn't matter if the parents are together or split, or what care arrangements they have. We have to remember to take a step back from our own wants, needs and interests and really try to see through their eyes. Listen to what they have to say, without getting upset by it (at least in front of them). They need to be able to trust that you will listen to what they say, and provide a reasonable response to guide them.


 

Similar Threads

  1. Adivse: RWH- shared care
    By madi83 in forum Seeking a Maternity Hospital
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 01-11-2012, 11:24
  2. Shared care and PHI
    By miniriz in forum Seeking a Maternity Hospital
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 27-09-2012, 14:58
  3. Shared care and PHI
    By miniriz in forum Seeking a Maternity Hospital
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 27-09-2012, 14:42

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
BAE The Label
Versatile, premium maternity wear that you will love throughout pregnancy and long after. Cleverly designed for for all stages of motherhood so that you can 'Just be you (+1)'.
sales & new stuffsee all
Pea Pods
Buy 2 Award Winning Pea Pods Reusable One Size Nappies for only $38 (in your choice of colours) and receive a FREE roll of Bamboo Liners. Don't miss out, we don't usually have discounts on the nappies, so grab this special offer!
Special Offer! Save $12
featured supporter
TPS Health Physiotherapy and Pilates
TPS Health Physiotherapy and Pilates has three clinics located at Morningside, Redlands and Lutwyche. We offer pre and post natal services as well as physiotherapy and Pilates. All clinics offer child minding services so bubs are always welcome!
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!