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    Default 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    People are saying that 'good dads' should have 50/50 shared care. Who is going to decide which are the good dads and which aren't?
    Is there going to be a checklist? An acceptable financial income range? The desire to look after their kids 50% of the time? Or the actually ability to do that? Because my ex will talk until he's blue in the face about wanting to be there for his kid... And in the next breath say he doesn't have time to call his son bc he's working and hasn't got the money to visit bc he wants a new motorbike and oh yeah, that time you left me in charge of him I tried to kill myself remember but I'm totally sure that next time will be 100% better!
    This thread is laughable now. One size does not fit all and even if the law says it did, who decides who is a good enough parent and why?

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    Default 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ana Gram View Post
    This is because, more often than not, women do most of the child rearing. So children are more commonly with their mother than their father.



    You do not know all women. Just because you haven't seen it happen, doesn't mean it doesn't. This is exactly what we did, as our child's best interests were most important. Of course, even as adults, the reality of what is the child's best interests can be difficult for everyone to cope with.



    Sorry, but in what situation of a separated couple is the man financially responsible for the woman studying? My ex is not financially responsible for me while I study.



    Again, only if 50/50 is actually practical. It quite often isn't if the two parents are not living close to each other.

    Forgive me if i am reading this wrong but it appears as if you are saying that if a mother doesn't work as well as study she is taking the 'easy' way. I can assure you this is not the case. Again, I study FULL TIME. And have primary care of my child. There are not enough hours in the day to add work to the mix as well due to my study load and the needs of my child.
    Obviously your situation is different if you don't live near to each other, obviously 50/50 wouldn't work then?

    My point was with a studying parent saying I can't work because I study. That's that persons decision not their exs.

    If your sharing 50/50 care as in week on week off surely that provides ample opportunity for studying or working extra hard in your off week without your child/ren.

    And for the record I 100% do not view any man thru rose coloured glasses. In our house my DH would only be able to have 50/50 care as I am the primary caregiver for the children in our house regardless of his/mine/ours.

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    Default 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    Quote Originally Posted by CMF View Post
    That's very involved of you to be sorting out her finances for her, however the CL calculator is not always accurate.

    Finances aren't everything, most of the posts earlier in this thread were concerns about the emotional and psychological impacts of 50/50 care. Money is the least of a child's worries.
    I worked it out as a worst case scenario for her while we were going thru the court system. Just because I didn't give birth to those kids doesn't mean I'd be happy for them to live in poverty.

    As with all these threads the $$ aspect always becomes a focus & truth is it does impact greatly on the welfare of a child.

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    Default 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    But if a father cared about his children he would realise that it's in the kids best interests that their mother study. Setting up a better future for his kids is surely something he would want to support??

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    Quote Originally Posted by ourbradybunch View Post
    If your sharing 50/50 care as in week on week off surely that provides ample opportunity for studying or working extra hard in your off week without your child/ren.
    I guess that is the whole point isn't it. How many people live close enough to each other for 50/50 to be practical? It is one of many factors in a successful 50/50 arrangement. I would say that for the majority, 50/50 isn't a realistic option.

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    Default Re: 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    Quote Originally Posted by ourbradybunch View Post
    Obviously your situation is different if you don't live near to each other, obviously 50/50 wouldn't work then?

    My point was with a studying parent saying I can't work because I study. That's that persons decision not their exs.

    If your sharing 50/50 care as in week on week off surely that provides ample opportunity for studying or working extra hard in your off week without your child/ren.

    And for the record I 100% do not view any man thru rose coloured glasses. In our house my DH would only be able to have 50/50 care as I am the primary caregiver for the children in our house regardless of his/mine/ours.
    I still don't understand why you keep stressing about this work/study thing and the custodial parent? Obviously its great for people to get ahead in life, but you can't control other people and the direction their lives take.

    I can't remember what happened in your situation, did they ever do mediation?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Chew the Mintie View Post
    It's garbage actually. It's well established by Australian research that women want fathers to have more, not less, contact.

    Of course there would be exceptions. But they are not typical. Furthermore when women try to prevent contact it's usually Where there has been abuse.
    Agree 100%

    Quote Originally Posted by Lovemyfam View Post
    So you can only be a happy family if mother is primary carer?
    Where did you get that from?? I said most primary carers are women, brady said that that can be reassessed on good terms. My point is that reassessing in a nice way doesn't change that mum has raised them from birth and has handled all their day to day care.

    I'm not saying woman should automatically get custody bc they are women. But bc they are normally the primary carer. You husband is the primary carer so if you every broke up the court may well award him full custody bc he was at home with the kids.

    If a father was home from birth, did all the night feeds, changed their bums etc then I would say he would be better with the main care...
    Last edited by delirium; 16-12-2012 at 10:27.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ourbradybunch View Post
    Obviously your situation is different if you don't live near to each other, obviously 50/50 wouldn't work then?

    My point was with a studying parent saying I can't work because I study. That's that persons decision not their exs.

    If your sharing 50/50 care as in week on week off surely that provides ample opportunity for studying or working extra hard in your off week without your child/ren.

    And for the record I 100% do not view any man thru rose coloured glasses. In our house my DH would only be able to have 50/50 care as I am the primary caregiver for the children in our house regardless of his/mine/ours.
    I may be wrong but I dont think that CS goes up just because they are not working its based on the income of the payer so if they are studying and on benefits that wont effect the payer.

    But I do see if its practical where the 50/50 would benefit the parent studying because then they can study in peace and not have to be chasing kids every other week.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ourbradybunch View Post
    Obviously your situation is different if you don't live near to each other, obviously 50/50 wouldn't work then?

    My point was with a studying parent saying I can't work because I study. That's that persons decision not their exs.

    If your sharing 50/50 care as in week on week off surely that provides ample opportunity for studying or working extra hard in your off week without your child/ren.

    And for the record I 100% do not view any man thru rose coloured glasses. In our house my DH would only be able to have 50/50 care as I am the primary caregiver for the children in our house regardless of his/mine/ours.
    So your DH himself could not actually do 50-50 care of his children? The only reason he could is because you are able to assist?

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    and in relation to the custodial parent studying - this always perplexes me... people study to further their lives, to earn more income to support the kids. How can that be bad? CS isn't paying for the mum to study, CS pays to cover a small percentage of raising the child.
    Last edited by delirium; 16-12-2012 at 10:28.

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