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  1. #281
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    Default 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    Quote Originally Posted by ourbradybunch View Post
    Definetly but decisions made as a joint happy couple obviously need to be reassessed when now a split couple.

    I don't agree that all/most/alot of men only want more custody to reduce CS. Obviously there's plenty of pricks out there who do this BUT there's definetly some good ones😆

    I think CS should be set at an amount like FTB part a, it seems wrong that mum a with a 2 yr old gets $10 a week yet mum b with a 2 yr old gets $200, how the hell is that fair???

    Why is child a worth more than child b???
    Because we live in a country in which people have different incomes?
    A child of a rich parent still deserves to benefit from his or her income surely, even after separation?

  2. #282
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    Default 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    Quote Originally Posted by ourbradybunch View Post

    If not I think that's showing my point of women doing what's easiest. I know from experience that working & studying is NOT easy but sometimes as a mother & a woman who wants what's best for your child you have to just suck it up & do what needs to be done.
    Surely if a dad was that great then the easiest thing for mum would be to be near dad so he can help out?

    I just don't get this attitude that nasty women take kids away from fantastic dads just because they are a b!tch. It makes no sense. Being a sole parent is harder work than anything else on this planet. If the dad was helpful with the kids why on earth would she give up that help? Whose purpose does it serve? I think in a lot of cases people are looking at the dads through rose colored glasses and believing the "I'm a great dad I don't know why she did this to me" bullsh!t.

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  4. #283
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    Default 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    Quote Originally Posted by Chew the Mintie View Post
    Because we live in a country in which people have different incomes?
    A child of a rich parent still deserves to benefit from his or her income surely, even after separation?
    Definetly but more at the lesser end how can $10 per week CS be acceptable.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ourbradybunch View Post
    I've done the calculations thru CSA, with 50/50 care BM will lose max $50 per fortnight combining CSA & centrelink reductions, however she can then work ALOT more & has less stress & cuts out CC expenses.

    How could 50/50 care in our situation not be in the child's best interests.

    Better job/housing/education opportunities etc etc.

    Plus as my own bio kids receive a private education we would be covering ALL costs for DH kids to have the same private education
    That's very involved of you to be sorting out her finances for her, however the CL calculator is not always accurate.

    Finances aren't everything, most of the posts earlier in this thread were concerns about the emotional and psychological impacts of 50/50 care. Money is the least of a child's worries.

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  7. #285
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    Quote Originally Posted by ourbradybunch View Post
    Definetly but decisions made as a joint happy couple obviously need to be reassessed when now a split couple.

    I don't agree that all/most/alot of men only want more custody to reduce CS. Obviously there's plenty of pricks out there who do this BUT there's definetly some good ones������

    I think CS should be set at an amount like FTB part a, it seems wrong that mum a with a 2 yr old gets $10 a week yet mum b with a 2 yr old gets $200, how the hell is that fair???

    Why is child a worth more than child b???
    But a happy family doesn't = dad being in a primary care role. As I have said several times in this thread, I fully believe in lots of access and possible 50/50 if it works. I also believe a mother that keeps a child from their father for no reason than spite is hurting her child more than anyone.

    But as the thread has progressed we have discussed if custodial mums have a right to move. My stance is that in a perfect world she would never need to, but we don't live in a perfect world.

    I believe in a min set amount of CS irrespective of the payers finances. Say $50 a fortnight per child. That would stop the deadbeats who don't work and keep zero income to screw over their ex, and maybe give them reason to get a job. bc that child/ren doesn't stop eating just bc he is a bad father that has decided he doesn't want to pay...

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    Default 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    It's garbage actually. It's well established by Australian research that women want fathers to have more, not less, contact.

    Of course there would be exceptions. But they are not typical. Furthermore when women try to prevent contact it's usually Where there has been abuse.

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  11. #287
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    Default 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    Quote Originally Posted by ourbradybunch View Post
    Definetly but more at the lesser end how can $10 per week CS be acceptable.
    I know.

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    Default 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    Quote Originally Posted by faroutbrusselsprout View Post
    The area she moved too was new. She travelled there frequently to visit her family and ended up meeting her new partner there, hence wanting to move and start a new life.
    Now thinking about it (it was a few years ago now!) We originally moved 1/2 away from her first. Which obviously DH was allowed to do with no questions from his ex!
    Then she wanted to move 2.5 hours from that location.
    DH had his son every second weekend before she moved. 50/50 was not possible as he had various night shift work etc. They had him very young and to be honest I don't think DH would have coped with 50/50 care with work etc. I don't think 50/50 care would have been in anyone's best interest.
    The move has been the best thing for his son who has gained a really great step Dad, step grandparents, a new brother and sister and frequent contact with cousin's, aunties and he loves his new town/school/friends etc.
    He is nearly 16 and comes to visit whenever it is convenient for him. There is no more set weekends and he has to work around parties, sport an a 2.5hr train ride.
    Making his mum stay in the original area would have been horribly unfair to her and caused lots of resentment.

    Has the move affected the relationship between DH and his son? Of course. No situation is perfect. Seeing him for 2 days a fortnight did not constitute making him and his mum stay somewhere they didn't want too. It was an awful, unsafe suburb anyway so a country move has been much better.
    DH doesn't for a minute regret allowing the move and making sure his son's primary carer was 'allowed' to be happy and stable.
    Sounds like your hubby made a good call in putting his child first. I totally agree: every second weekend shouldn't be enough to make the mother live somewhere she doesn't want to.

  13. #289
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    But a happy family doesn't = dad being in a primary care role. As I have said several times in this thread, I fully believe in lots of access and possible 50/50 if it works. I also believe a mother that keeps a child from their father for no reason than spite is hurting her child more than anyone.

    But as the thread has progressed we have discussed if custodial mums have a right to move. My stance is that in a perfect world she would never need to, but we don't live in a perfect world.

    I believe in a min set amount of CS irrespective of the payers finances. Say $50 a fortnight per child. That would stop the deadbeats who don't work and keep zero income to screw over their ex, and maybe give them reason to get a job. bc that child/ren doesn't stop eating just bc he is a bad father that has decided he doesn't want to pay...
    So you can only be a happy family if mother is primary carer?

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    Default 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    Quote Originally Posted by Chew the Mintie View Post
    A lot of men really do only want increased care so child support is reduced.
    That's a rather unfair generalization. It's like saying women only want more than 50-50 so they get extra child support.

    Women are good and bad just like men.

    I'd like to think the majority of men who go for 50-50 care about their kids.

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