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  1. #261
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    Quote Originally Posted by ourbradybunch View Post
    Well said & I agree 100%
    Why should a man ( because truth is majority of women assume the kids are theirs to keep ) spend the next however many years til his child/ren is 18 at the mercy of the custodial parent.
    Moving to follow his kids around because of the many excuses given by an ex as to why it's in the best interests of said children.

    If 50/50 care was the scenario mum will be able go work 2 jobs in her week without children if that's what she needed to do.

    Truth is my experience with women is that they will do what's in their own best interests, what makes their life easier. And yep I am a woman who has such a mindset.

    There are many crappy dads. When I first split with my ex he insisted on our 3 kids every weekday 4-8 & all weekend every weekend ( so I basically never seen my children )
    What I did was work 2 sometimes 3 jobs.
    Over the last 3 yrs on his own my ex now only sees his kids every 2nd weekend because in his words he's not my free babysitter������

    But then on the other hand my DH ex has moved twice, both times to areas with less job, house, education opportunities and being that she does not drive he has to drive hours to see his kids. Every second weekend it's 2 hrs to pick them up & 2 hours to drop them home to her. She told him to just give up & don't bother seeing them. So when she decided to move another 6 hrs away just because she'd ****ed off her support system I told him no, those kids are part of our family. So off to court we went, she cannot move any further away BUT it's still 2 hrs away.
    She complains constantly about having no $$, well here's a thought move back down here where your kids were born & raised, where you can rent for at least the same as you pay now & share your kids 50/50 with their dad. Frees her up to work more & saves them spending so much time traveling.

    I detest all men being painted as ****ty dads because they aren't all the same!!!
    here is the problem with that situation if she has no money she isnt going to want to do 50/50 care with your husband because then she gets no money form him so will have less money but if she thought about it the cost of caring for the children would be 50% less (roughly) and she would have 50% more time to herself where she could work or relax go out.

    I knew there was someone that was going through the moving around at the whim of another glad you posted your story because people were thinking that no one would ever just move around do the other parent had to uproot their family to be there for the kids.

    Glad you put your foot down she is just trying to get him to give up I mean I almost cant blame it the way this country has it set up, keep the kids not have to answer to anyone not have to deal with your ex, get more money its an encouragement to do what she is doing to your husband so many people do the right thing but god these types just use the system to help themselves not the children.

  2. #262
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    Default 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lovemyfam View Post
    here is the problem with that situation if she has no money she isnt going to want to do 50/50 care with your husband because then she gets no money form him so will have less money but if she thought about it the cost of caring for the children would be 50% less (roughly) and she would have 50% more time to herself where she could work or relax go out.

    I knew there was someone that was going through the moving around at the whim of another glad you posted your story because people were thinking that no one would ever just move around do the other parent had to uproot their family to be there for the kids.

    Glad you put your foot down she is just trying to get him to give up I mean I almost cant blame it the way this country has it set up, keep the kids not have to answer to anyone not have to deal with your ex, get more money its an encouragement to do what she is doing to your husband so many people do the right thing but god these types just use the system to help themselves not the children.
    With 50/50 care DH will still have about $100 per week to pay CS.

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    Lovemyfam  (16-12-2012)

  4. #263
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    Default Re: 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lovemyfam View Post
    here is the problem with that situation if she has no money she isnt going to want to do 50/50 care with your husband because then she gets no money form him so will have less money but if she thought about it the cost of caring for the children would be 50% less (roughly) and she would have 50% more time to herself where she could work or relax go out.

    I knew there was someone that was going through the moving around at the whim of another glad you posted your story because people were thinking that no one would ever just move around do the other parent had to uproot their family to be there for the kids.

    Glad you put your foot down she is just trying to get him to give up I mean I almost cant blame it the way this country has it set up, keep the kids not have to answer to anyone not have to deal with your ex, get more money its an encouragement to do what she is doing to your husband so many people do the right thing but god these types just use the system to help themselves not the children.
    ...and it always comes back to the child support.

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    HugsBunny  (16-12-2012)

  6. #264
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    Default 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    Quote Originally Posted by Maia View Post
    And just out of curiousity - what if it had back fired?
    To be honest I don't know but I was extremely confident it wouldn't.

    I grew up in a split family where my mum did not give my dad ANY access to us so I probably went completely opposite.

    I'm very grateful it didn't backfire & it prob was good for my kids at the time as their dad did struggle with the split & was very obvious about it to the kids. I think at the time they may have felt like it was good being there supporting dad in a sense.

  7. #265
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    Default 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    Quote Originally Posted by Stiflers Mom View Post
    ...and it always comes back to the child support.
    Not me, I'm all for CS. I detest people who do not pay CS. It's so incredibly wrong & I think it a massive slap in the face when a parent is granted a ridiculous amount like $10 a week CS, deadset disgraceful & my hat goes off to any parent doing their best with NO financial assistance from the other parent.

    Men/women who do not contribute financially to their children should be ashamed of themselves & CSA doesn't do near enough to go after these paradites😆

  8. #266
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stiflers Mom View Post
    ...and it always comes back to the child support.
    Yep bc wanting 50/50 care is really about getting out of paying CS and sticking it to the ex

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    HugsBunny  (16-12-2012)

  10. #267
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    Default 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    A lot of men really do only want increased care so child support is reduced.

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    HugsBunny  (16-12-2012)

  12. #268
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    Default Re: 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    Quote Originally Posted by ourbradybunch View Post
    Not me, I'm all for CS. I detest people who do not pay CS. It's so incredibly wrong & I think it a massive slap in the face when a parent is granted a ridiculous amount like $10 a week CS, deadset disgraceful & my hat goes off to any parent doing their best with NO financial assistance from the other parent.

    Men/women who do not contribute financially to their children should be ashamed of themselves & CSA doesn't do near enough to go after these paradites😆
    Absolutely.

  13. #269
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lovemyfam View Post
    Glad you put your foot down she is just trying to get him to give up I mean I almost cant blame it the way this country has it set up, keep the kids not have to answer to anyone not have to deal with your ex, get more money its an encouragement to do what she is doing to your husband so many people do the right thing but god these types just use the system to help themselves not the children.
    yes the system stinks - where men can get out of paying any CS, the govt allows it and the family apply for SPP or PP so are getting welfare themselves.

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  15. #270
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    Default 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ana Gram View Post
    I call bullsh*t on this statement.



    And also on this one.




    This is incredibly simplistic. I know I certainly didn't have time for two jobs as I was (and still am) studying full time.



    'fraid I have to call bullsh*t on this statement too.




    I don't believe this is the case actually. I don't think anyone is painting all men as sh*tty dads.

    I think your experience with the husbands ex has clouded your opinion on this.
    Any woman I have known who has split from her partner has assumed the kids are going with mum.
    I have never heard a woman say " well ex and I are yet to discuss custody of the kids & who they will live with as of course I want things to be fair & in the best interests of the kids "

    I would include studying/work but I have to be honest if mum & dad split & mum studies but does NOT work it's not dads responsibility to financially support mum until she finishes studying. A dads responsibility is to financially contribute to his child.

    However I think if you have 50/50 care of your child you can bust your a$$ in your week without kids to work & study surely?????

    If not I think that's showing my point of women doing what's easiest. I know from experience that working & studying is NOT easy but sometimes as a mother & a woman who wants what's best for your child you have to just suck it up & do what needs to be done.


 

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