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  1. #211
    Ana Gram's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lovemyfam View Post

    Wouldnt a good custodial parent make every possible attempt to stay put? If that means getting a job and not being on assistance and place the kids in daycare so that they can afford to live should a caring parent do that?
    Ah, I see. I'm not a 'good' 'caring' custodial parent because I didn't do enough to stay in the place I couldn't afford to live in. Right.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ana Gram View Post
    Ah, I see. I'm not a 'good' 'caring' custodial parent because I didn't do enough to stay in the place I couldn't afford to live in. Right.
    I dont know maybe you did, maybe you didnt but when someone says that your only a good non custodial parent if you let the other parent move as they please and basically stay out of the way should it not go the other way?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lovemyfam View Post
    Of that 80% how many gave up because the ex made life miserable, tried to turn the kids against the non custodial parent, made life with the step parent and step kids living hell? These statistics and studies cant be accurate in just saying 80% of non custodial parents give up there is so much that can make someone give up
    Honestly, I'm unsure. Maybe someone has the link? But seriously, my husband would fight until the end of time to see his kids. Not that I would ever stop contact. If a man goes to the lengths of taking custody to court, why then suddenly give up? that lacks logic.

    Can you accept that some non custodial parents are deadbeats, just as some custodial parents are too? why in your eyes is every example of a deadbeat dad either untrue or it's always the mother's fault?

    Ok so to be a good non custodial parent you have to let the custodial parent do as they pleases and follow them around as they move? What of any other kids they have? Do they get to be parent of the year if they rent a moving van for the moving parent too? That is the craziest thing I have heard.
    As opposed to a 'good' custodial parent who doesn't ask for a cent in CS, allows the ex to constantly dictate how she lives her life and is fine with his deadbeat behaviour? it goes both ways

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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    Honestly, I'm unsure. Maybe someone has the link? But seriously, my husband would fight until the end of time to see his kids. Not that I would ever stop contact. If a man goes to the lengths of taking custody to court, why then suddenly give up? that lacks logic.

    Can you accept that some non custodial parents are deadbeats, just as some custodial parents are too? why in your eyes does every example of a deadbeat dad either untrue or it's always the mother's fault?
    Yup there are some real deadbeats out there I know that on both sides of this.



    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    As opposed to a 'good' custodial parent who doesn't ask for a cent in CS, allows the ex to constantly dictate how she lives her life and is fine with his deadbeat behaviour? it goes both ways
    That was my point it does go both ways which is why I posted it turned around to see how silly it was to basically say your only a good parent if you let the other parent move around and follow them I know woman here was just going through that having to move when the other parent just to stay in the lives.

    If its hardship and no way they can survive I can see a need and I know this happens but I dont think it happens as often as its being let on here.

  6. #215
    Ana Gram's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lovemyfam View Post
    I dont know maybe you did, maybe you didnt but when someone says that your only a good non custodial parent if you let the other parent move as they please and basically stay out of the way should it not go the other way?
    Honestly, I find your posts read a little like a ****** of consciousness which makes them difficult to follow sometimes.

    Again, it comes back to what is best for the children. And personally, I think that if the custodial parent needs to move closer to a support network so that life is less of a struggle, that is ultimately what is best for the children.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ana Gram View Post
    Honestly, I find your posts read a little like a ****** of consciousness which makes them difficult to follow sometimes.

    Again, it comes back to what is best for the children. And personally, I think that if the custodial parent needs to move closer to a support network so that life is less of a struggle, that is ultimately what is best for the children.
    Do you think that only a good parent will follow around the other parent as much as they want to move? So say they move back to the support network and the other parent moves to, then they move across to another state and on and on should there be some sort of limit on how much this person can move and string along other people or is it just whatever they want?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lovemyfam View Post
    If its hardship and no way they can survive I can see a need and I know this happens but I dont think it happens as often as its being let on here.
    But that's really what people are saying. It sucks but it happens. When there is zero work, you can't pay your rent and your child is living off 2 min noodles then a good parent will take steps to remedy that. Sometimes unfortunately, that means moving. Again, my husband is a wonderful father. I would go to the enth degree to ensure he saw his kids. But really, the child can't live off good intentions.

    As to how often it really happens, I don't know. What I do know is that the women that have shared their stories in this thread I know have agonised over their decision to move away.

    This thread is giving me the twitchy eye and I'm not even a single mum. No wonder those in this thread that are single are flaring up. *backs away slowly *
    Last edited by delirium; 15-12-2012 at 21:36.

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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    But that's really what people are saying. It sucks but it happens. When there is zero work, you can't pay your rent and your child is living off 2 min noodles then a god parent will take steps to remedy that. Sometimes unfortunately, that means moving. Again, my husband is a wonderful father. I would go to the enth degree to ensure he saw his kids. But really, the child can't live off good intentions.

    As to how often it really happens, I don't know. What I do know is that the women that have shared their stories in this thread I know have agonised over their decision to move away.

    This thread is giving me the twitchy eye and I'm not even a single mum. No wonder those in this thread that are single are flaring up. *backs away slowly from this thread*
    Be it male of female its the same we dont even need to include sexes in it because then it becomes something its not we are talking about custodial and non custodial parents I would feel the same no matter the sex as far as my posts go that s why I stopped using sexes because to me it doesnt matter the sex here

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    Default 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    I find it weird that the one person in this thread who left her ex behind in another country finds it hard to believe that many men just aren't interested in maintaining regular contact.

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  14. #220
    Ana Gram's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lovemyfam View Post
    Do you think that only a good parent will follow around the other parent as much as they want to move? So say they move back to the support network and the other parent moves to, then they move across to another state and on and on should there be some sort of limit on how much this person can move and string along other people or is it just whatever they want?
    I'm not sure how that would happen. Unless the entire support network moved multiple times.

    I think the term 'good parent' really needs to be dropped as well. Especially since your post is implying that the 'good parent' is the one who didn't move.

    Also, what makes you think that the non-custodial parent is moving as well?


 

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