Closed Thread
Page 21 of 43 FirstFirst ... 11192021222331 ... LastLast
Results 201 to 210 of 426
  1. #201
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    12,708
    Thanks
    9,557
    Thanked
    12,689
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 9/1/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 7/11/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 3/10/14100 Posts in a week

    Default 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    Quote Originally Posted by Hollywood View Post
    Also VicPark, correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't you in a happy marriage? What experience do you have with shared custody of a child in a split family?
    I happen to think not being poisoned by having a breakup and all the negative feelings that involves makes me more unbiased and in an ok position to have an opinion on what's best for the child.

    *edit* and DH was the pawn in the middle of a shared custody dispute. Im not always pro-dad. I dh's case I believe his mother was justified in moving away because her ex was ... Well not the best dad.

    My opinions only related to where the dad is a perfectly good and involved parent.
    Last edited by VicPark; 15-12-2012 at 20:48.

  2. #202
    HugsBunny's Avatar
    HugsBunny is offline Once upon a time there was a bunny.........
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    6,603
    Thanks
    4,531
    Thanked
    1,966
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts

    Default 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I happen to think not being poisoned by having a breakup and all the negative feelings that involves makes me more unbiased and in an ok position to have an opinion on what's best for the child.
    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

    Wait…… you're serious??

  3. #203
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    12,708
    Thanks
    9,557
    Thanked
    12,689
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 9/1/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 7/11/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 3/10/14100 Posts in a week

    Default 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    Quote Originally Posted by HugsBunny View Post
    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

    Wait…… you're serious??
    And you think a woman scorned is unbiased? Ahahahahahahhaha!

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to VicPark For This Useful Post:

    Lovemyfam  (15-12-2012)

  5. #204
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    3,525
    Thanks
    1,890
    Thanked
    2,539
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    And you think a woman scorned is unbiased? Ahahahahahahhaha!
    I think a woman *scorned* is wise!

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to Ellewood For This Useful Post:

    shelle65  (16-12-2012)

  7. #205
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    22,839
    Thanks
    6,199
    Thanked
    16,883
    Reviews
    10
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Bubhub Blogger - Thanks100 Posts in a week
    I'm very happily married to a man I've been with nearly 2 decades, so no bitter ex feelings ....and I still say best case scenario is to be near their dad but that sometimes life throws us curve balls and sometimes a mum, even short term, has to move for the good of her child.

    As a woman who 's children are to a man that is a very involved wonderful father, if we broke up I would do everything in my power to facilitate their relationship. But if I couldn't pay my rent and we were going hungry, then yes I would move!

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to delirium For This Useful Post:


  9. #206
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Gippsland
    Posts
    14,654
    Thanks
    1,207
    Thanked
    3,833
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    I left my husband, and I can assure you that I am not 'scorned'. He is a great dad, and very involved with DS (has him every weekend). Even I can see that 50/50 care would not be beneficial to the kids in MOST situations.

  10. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Hollywood For This Useful Post:

    Benji  (15-12-2012),HugsBunny  (15-12-2012)

  11. #207
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    3,525
    Thanks
    1,890
    Thanked
    2,539
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    As a woman who 's children are to a man that is a very involved wonderful father, if we broke up I would do everything in my power to facilitate their relationship. But if I couldn't pay my rent and we were going hungry, then yes I would move!
    I am facing this situation now - I need to move 2 hours away to the city at this point as there's no work in this place. BUT, DS was conceived and born in the city. My ex moved back here (home town), and I also moved back shortly after DS was born, to be near family etc. so if I move back to the city, should exDP be forced to move back too VicPark? Ill just add that he has a new family now too... What if his partner doesn't want to move their child(ren)? Should he be forced to live in the middle?

  12. #208
    HugsBunny's Avatar
    HugsBunny is offline Once upon a time there was a bunny.........
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    6,603
    Thanks
    4,531
    Thanked
    1,966
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts

    Default 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    And you think a woman scorned is unbiased? Ahahahahahahhaha!
    Honey, I am NOT scorned. I left him and I am the happiest I have been in 11 years BECAUSE I left him.

    Your view is not unbiased if you believe all single mothers are 'scorned' simply because they are single.

  13. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to HugsBunny For This Useful Post:

    shelle65  (16-12-2012),Stiflers Mom  (15-12-2012)

  14. #209
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Gippsland
    Posts
    14,654
    Thanks
    1,207
    Thanked
    3,833
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by HugsBunny View Post
    Honey, I am NOT scorned. I left him and I am the happiest I have been in 11 years BECAUSE I left him.

    Your view is not unbiased if you believe all single mothers are 'scorned' simply because they are single.
    Same here, I haven't been this happy in a long time. Leaving my DS's dad was the best decision I've made in a long time. Having said that, exH and I are on very good terms with each other and the split has been very amicable.

  15. #210
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Victoria
    Posts
    2,610
    Thanks
    1,023
    Thanked
    511
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by River Song View Post
    if the father is a good parent...he should want the mother of his children to have a good support network/access to employment/not live in poverty.

    If a woman has moved during the marriage to a place that benefits the father and places her at serious disadvantage...it is not right that he can force her to stay there.

    I think 50/50 would only work in very rare circumstances....for me it would have been a disaster and my ex buggered off over seas for a few years anyway.

    If one of the parents is working full time and the other isn't...what happens then? Why should the kids be stuck in daycare when they could be with their parent?

    If the children have always been at home with a parent, then that parent should be able to continue as they were. For MANY parents, when they split...the alternate weekend access is more time then they ever spent with their kids before the split.

    I am glad that my ex never wanted 50/50...in fact even now he sees him 1 night a f/n, often cancels if DS has plans that would require any effort from him and does not EVER contact between visits. It used to upset me that he cared so little...now, i know that DS benefits because he has a stable environment with clear expectations with which to grow up in and he is thriving.
    Ok so if the non custodial parent loves the children they then should give up time with them and pay more CS because they have done the right thing and not hindered the move?

    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    This was the 80% stat i referred to earlier that hardly visited their kids after fighting for custody. I don't have the link, maybe someone else does, but the findings say it proves many cases are just for vindictiveness.
    Of that 80% how many gave up because the ex made life miserable, tried to turn the kids against the non custodial parent, made life with the step parent and step kids living hell? These statistics and studies cant be accurate in just saying 80% of non custodial parents give up there is so much that can make someone give up

    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    If he was a good father, then he'd move to where the mother wants/needs!
    Ok so to be a good non custodial parent you have to let the custodial parent do as they pleases and follow them around as they move? What of any other kids they have? Do they get to be parent of the year if they rent a moving van for the moving parent too? That is the craziest thing I have heard.

    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    I disagree the mother is "just another parent." Most of the time, it is the mother doing majority of parenting. I can tell you now that whilst my children absolutely love their father, they would be more devastated by spending time away from me.
    I think what she was saying is that the mother doesn't have any more rights than the father.

    Wouldnt a good custodial parent make every possible attempt to stay put? If that means getting a job and not being on assistance and place the kids in daycare so that they can afford to live should a caring parent do that?


 

Similar Threads

  1. Adivse: RWH- shared care
    By madi83 in forum Seeking a Maternity Hospital
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 01-11-2012, 11:24
  2. Shared care and PHI
    By miniriz in forum Seeking a Maternity Hospital
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 27-09-2012, 14:58
  3. Shared care and PHI
    By miniriz in forum Seeking a Maternity Hospital
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 27-09-2012, 14:42

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Shapland Swim Schools
Shapland's at participating schools offer free baby orientation classes once a month - no cost no catches. Your baby will be introduced to our "natural effects" orientation program develop by Shapland's over 3 generations, its gentle and enjoyable.
sales & new stuffsee all
Pea Pods
Buy 2 Award Winning Pea Pods Reusable One Size Nappies for only $38 (in your choice of colours) and receive a FREE roll of Bamboo Liners. Don't miss out, we don't usually have discounts on the nappies, so grab this special offer!
Special Offer! Save $12
featured supporter
Tribalance
TriBalance is a physio, yoga & pilates studio in Brisbane's inner north, offering specialised women's health physiotherapy services. Weekly pregnancy yoga classes are scheduled at the studio on Thursdays 1- 2pm and Saturdays 1-2:15pm.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!