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  1. #11
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    I think every family and situation is different.

    Ds doesn't see his dad but if he did I couldn't imagine not seeing him for a whole week. I take my hats off to the parents who do this.

  2. #12
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    Well, just to copy and paste my response from the previous thread:




    "Gosh this is a hard issue to tackle though.... Having been in that situation myself as a kid I really do feel equal custody is not the best option at all! Every second weekend was hard enough. It may be fair for the parents but not for the kids(?)


    its best if the kids live in one house but have open access to the other parent(?) I knew my dad loved us as a 4 year-old going through this... We saw him all the time (lived close by) and every second wknd... We rang him and he rang us. If I needed something, a lift etc. I just called and he was there. Having equal custody would have been a nightmare though. Well not a nightmare but very annoying and unsettling. Life was unsettling enough!"


    in saying that though, it could possibly work for older kids... We were still quite little and I stand by a firm NO with regards to little children. Like I said, it works for the patents, not the kids.

    Also, just because kids seem happy, and seem resilient, doesn't mean they are. I know myself I went to great lengths to pretend I was happy and ok as a kid. That's how kids cope. It's not fair to say kids are fine with it, not when they're little (teens might be a different story(?)). Life should be kept as normal as possible in separation. Just my thoughts..

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  4. #13
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    I can see what they're trying to achieve through 50/50 and it sounds very feasable to me but none of us know the long term effects have having two homes like that and going from one to another. If I was to guess, knowing what I know about kids needing routine and stability, I would say that it wouldn't have great long term results.

    That's not to say that any child who go through that are all going to have all these issues growing up, I just think that routine and stability is so important and without it, children would grow into adults who may not be as stable and grounded as what they can be. Obviously you'd have to remove all other influences to do a proper comprehensive study on this, which is virtually impossible so it'd be hard to know without a shadow of a doubt what future outcomes of these arrangements would be across the board.

    It's just not something that I did with my kids or want to do with my kids. And I didn't want my kids to be guinea pigs....then find out years down the track that 'whoopsie' turns out 50/50 custody isn't all that great - sorry folks!
    Last edited by Deserama; 13-12-2012 at 19:34.

  5. #14
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    I think its a good idea unless both parties agree they dont want it like in some situations here where they live far apart by choice and they are ok with it or where the non custodial parent is found not fit to be a parent by the courts. Other than that yes I think its a good option

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    Quote Originally Posted by crankyoldcow View Post
    Not realistic at all. In my opinion children need somewhere to call home. To me, living week about in two seperate homes would feel like you don't really belong anywhere.

    .
    Yeh this is what I believe too. They'll grow up to be 'drifters' never having had a proper home.

  7. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by missie_mack View Post
    I actually think the ideal scenerio would be to have the kids living in one house and the parents changing a week about- of course most people wouldn't be able to manage it and it is probably unrealistic but I think it would suit the kids best.
    Oh Lordy I can just imagine...

    'Why the heck does your mother keep moving things around where I can't find them??'

    'why the hell is it so hard for your father to clean the blo*dy bathroom!!'

    Omg this would never work!
    Nice in theory though

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  9. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by sunnyflower View Post
    I think every family and situation is different.

    Ds doesn't see his dad but if he did I couldn't imagine not seeing him for a whole week. I take my hats off to the parents who do this.
    This is what non custodial parents go through every day so just imagine if you only got to see your child 4 days a month.

  10. #18
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    Yes, I agree. I wouldn't want my ex to be in my house or me in his. Yuck. I don't want him touching my stuff

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  12. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by missie_mack View Post
    I actually think the ideal scenerio would be to have the kids living in one house and the parents changing a week about- of course most people wouldn't be able to manage it and it is probably unrealistic but I think it would suit the kids best.

    Yes this is the first thing ex suggested and it would have been the better scenario then the kids moving all the time. Unfortunately thought it wouldn't have worked for us parents so that was a no go as well. But I say that if it could be managed it'd be a good compromise then it's the parents going from pillar to post rather than the kids

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    Default 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    Wouldn't three houses need to be maintained though? And I assume each parent would have their own room in the kids house so they didn't have to share?


 

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