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    Default 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    The reality is that the majority of parents (overwhelmingly the fathers) who fight for shared custody actually end up abandoning the shared arrangements, start not turning up etc and lose interest, very often when they enter a new relationship.

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    Default 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    Quote Originally Posted by Chew the Mintie View Post
    The reality is that the majority of parents (overwhelmingly the fathers) who fight for shared custody actually end up abandoning the shared arrangements, start not turning up etc and lose interest, very often when they enter a new relationship.
    I have not come across this in the blended families I know ( including my own )
    Us SMs have been thru a fair bit supporting our hubby's thru custody issues to ensure they have support to finish what they started.
    I personally couldn't be with a man who didn't maintain a relationship with his child, as a child my mother kept us kids from our dads & in that situation there are only losers, the biggest being our mother who has 3 children who won't miss her when she's gone

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  5. #183
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    Quote Originally Posted by ourbradybunch View Post
    I have not come across this in the blended families I know ( including my own )
    This was the 80% stat i referred to earlier that hardly visited their kids after fighting for custody. I don't have the link, maybe someone else does, but the findings say it proves many cases are just for vindictiveness.

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    Default 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ana Gram View Post
    How ridiculous. I can't imagine how awful someone would have to be to actually WANT a mother and her children to live in poverty.
    Its not about wanting the mother to live in poverty. It's about the child's right to know both parents equally.

    I stand by what I said: if the father is a good parent the mother shoudnt be allowed to move away. If she doesn't have family there thats just tough, she can learn to make friends. If she is in financial strife then do what other people do: get help, downgrade your housing, go back to school, do whatever is necessary. When a woman has a child she gives up her right to take the easy road and put herself first.

    If the Dad is a not a good person and doesn't care about the child, well that's a different story.

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    Default 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Its not about wanting the mother to live in poverty. It's about the child's right to know both parents equally.

    I stand by what I said: if the father is a good parent the mother shoudnt be allowed to move away. If she doesn't have family there thats just tough, she can learn to make friends. If she is in financial strife then do what other people do: get help, downgrade your housing, go back to school, do whatever is necessary. When a woman has a child she gives up her right to take the easy road and put herself first.

    If the Dad is a not a good person and doesn't care about the child, well that's a different story.
    If he was a good father, then he'd move to where the mother wants/needs!

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    Default 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    If he was a good father, then he'd move to where the mother wants/needs!
    I disagree. The place of residence should be where the family resided before the split. The mother is just another parent. She's not extra special, she's not a goddess. There's no reason why she should be able to change the game rules to suit her. One could say "if the mother was a good mother she'd move to where the dad wanted to live." ridiculous.

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    Default 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    Quote Originally Posted by ourbradybunch View Post
    I have not come across this in the blended families I know ( including my own )
    Us SMs have been thru a fair bit supporting our hubby's thru custody issues to ensure they have support to finish what they started.
    I personally couldn't be with a man who didn't maintain a relationship with his child, as a child my mother kept us kids from our dads & in that situation there are only losers, the biggest being our mother who has 3 children who won't miss her when she's gone
    That's great and I can totally understand your feelings.. It's hard to understand for many of us but unfortunately there is a lot of research in the last few years that establishes what I said..

    In fact the majority of custodial parents (usually mothers) wish the absent parent had *more* contact with the kids, far from trying to deny contact.

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  14. #188
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Its not about wanting the mother to live in poverty. It's about the child's right to know both parents equally.

    I stand by what I said: if the father is a good parent the mother shoudnt be allowed to move away. If she doesn't have family there thats just tough, she can learn to make friends. If she is in financial strife then do what other people do: get help, downgrade your housing, go back to school, do whatever is necessary. When a woman has a child she gives up her right to take the easy road and put herself first.

    If the Dad is a not a good person and doesn't care about the child, well that's a different story.
    There is so much wrong with your opinion here. Mostly because it fails to see reality.

    I moved away. I have not taken an easy road.

  15. #189
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I disagree. The place of residence should be where the family resided before the split. The mother is just another parent. She's not extra special, she's not a goddess. There's no reason why she should be able to change the game rules to suit her. One could say "if the mother was a good mother she'd move to where the dad wanted to live." ridiculous.
    Err, wait a minute. You just said that a mother should 'downgrade". Can't have it both ways. you can't live in the place of residence before the split AND downgrade your housing.

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    Default 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I disagree. The place of residence should be where the family resided before the split. The mother is just another parent. She's not extra special, she's not a goddess. There's no reason why she should be able to change the game rules to suit her. One could say "if the mother was a good mother she'd move to where the dad wanted to live." ridiculous.
    I disagree the mother is "just another parent." Most of the time, it is the mother doing majority of parenting. I can tell you now that whilst my children absolutely love their father, they would be more devastated by spending time away from me.


 

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