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  1. #171
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pesca77 View Post
    I find it very hard to believe our Court would allow a fully breastfed newborn to be away from their mother for longer durations?? How would fob feed said baby?? The Courts can't 'force' me to express, nor could they legally authorize formula against the parents wishes surely?

    If they were able to do this then our system is a lot worse than I ever thought. Thankfully I won't have to worry about this, considering the main reason DH left was because I decided to keep this unplanned baby anyway.
    I have heard of cases where they've ruled that way. It's a disgrace.

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    Default 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    Quote Originally Posted by Stiflers Mom View Post
    I have heard of cases where they've ruled that way. It's a disgrace.
    wow, just wow. How do the poor bubba's get fed then if they are only used to breast milk? That's shocking.

    ETA - nothing wrong with formula of course, I'm talking about bubs that have never had it/bottle before.
    Last edited by Pesca77; 15-12-2012 at 17:39.

  3. #173
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pesca77 View Post
    wow, just wow. How do the poor bubba's get fed then if they are only used to breast milk? That's shocking.
    I can't remember the details, I would imagine the mother provides milk or formula is given.

    I went through a bit of this with my ex when mine was a newborn, it didn't go through court but he threatened to give formula because he was restricted to two hour access due to breastfeeding. It was awful.

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    Default 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    Quote Originally Posted by Stiflers Mom View Post
    I can't remember the details, I would imagine the mother provides milk or formula is given.

    I went through a bit of this with my ex when mine was a newborn, it didn't go through court but he threatened to give formula because he was restricted to two hour access due to breastfeeding. It was awful.
    That's just awful, I'm sorry you and your baby had to go through that. How a Court can think thats in the best interests of the child is beyond me. I'm very thankful I'll never have that problem. Despite the way DH left us, we are (so far) very amicable.

    OP - my neighbor does 50/50 care successfully. Her 3 kids spend one week with her, the next with Dad. They are older though (12,15,18) and live close by to each other too. Works very well for them.

  5. #175
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    Default 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lovemyfam View Post
    I still think it should be assumed that it will be 50/50 and let the court decide if its not the right choice for the child. So for example Barb and Joe break up. Barb has taken care of the children while Joe works. It should be that Joe has the right to see the kids as often as he likes until the court date and then let the court decide if it is best for the child to do 50/50 but something has to be done about the custodial parents that are not on the up and up and are avoiding the relationship between the non custodial and the child. Just as if it is found that the non custodial fought for 50/50 but rarely sees the child then that too needs to be addressed.

    Its just absolutely boggles my mind how someone can just drag kids around, move hide from the non custodial parent. I know everyone is different but I can give two ****s what an ex is doing. I had my kids dad call me to tell me that he was getting married and asked if the kids could come I said yup no problem they would prob love to see you. I had my ex call once and ask if he could spend a week with the kids at my house. I said yup T has a bunk bed you can stay in his room he never showed the point is we as a parent have to just let **** go for the kids ( abuse is different) they don't care that Daddy cheated on mommy they don't care that mommy fell out of love with daddy they care that they have two parents that love them and they care that they can talk to and see both parents when they want.
    I agree

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  7. #176
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    As far as breast feeding mothers go, when I was still breast feeding my son at 12 months, he was only allowed with his dad for 4-5 hours at a time until I had finished.He was also supportive of his son being breast fed, which made the situation easier.
    I did have a divorce lawyer when we separated/ divorced and she stated that I was to have majority of custody whilst I was still breast feeding.

  8. #177
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stiflers Mom View Post
    I have heard of cases where they've ruled that way. It's a disgrace.
    Yep, and there have also been cases where mothers have been forced to move back where they have no support and few opportunities, so have to live in poverty, because the judge decided 50/50 no matter what.

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  10. #178
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    Default 50/50 Shared Care: Do you think it is realistic?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ana Gram View Post
    Yep, and there have also been cases where mothers have been forced to move back where they have no support and few opportunities, so have to live in poverty, because the judge decided 50/50 no matter what.
    *If* the father is a good parent, the mother shouldn't be able to move away to start with. I know in the USA they are quite strict on this.

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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    *If* the father is a good parent, the mother shouldn't be able to move away to start with. I know in the USA they are quite strict on this.

    if the father is a good parent...he should want the mother of his children to have a good support network/access to employment/not live in poverty.

    If a woman has moved during the marriage to a place that benefits the father and places her at serious disadvantage...it is not right that he can force her to stay there.

    I think 50/50 would only work in very rare circumstances....for me it would have been a disaster and my ex buggered off over seas for a few years anyway.

    If one of the parents is working full time and the other isn't...what happens then? Why should the kids be stuck in daycare when they could be with their parent?

    If the children have always been at home with a parent, then that parent should be able to continue as they were. For MANY parents, when they split...the alternate weekend access is more time then they ever spent with their kids before the split.

    I am glad that my ex never wanted 50/50...in fact even now he sees him 1 night a f/n, often cancels if DS has plans that would require any effort from him and does not EVER contact between visits. It used to upset me that he cared so little...now, i know that DS benefits because he has a stable environment with clear expectations with which to grow up in and he is thriving.

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  13. #180
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    *If* the father is a good parent, the mother shouldn't be able to move away to start with. I know in the USA they are quite strict on this.
    How ridiculous. I can't imagine how awful someone would have to be to actually WANT a mother and her children to live in poverty.

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