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  1. #151
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    That is all very expensive LMF. Reality is that lots of people cannot afford that level of intervention.

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    Do you realise what costs would be involved to put every seperating couple thru the court system to decide? There should be the ability for people to try to come to some agreement, then if that breaks down go to court. It would cause the child alot of grief and stress too.

    I stand behind my previous comments that what you are suggesting is often not in the best interests of the child, is expensive and is open to abuse. Let the system stand as it does. That the court is only involved in a case of dead lock.

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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    Do you realise what costs would be involved to put every seperating couple thru the court system to decide? There should be the ability for people to try to come to some agreement, then if that breaks down go to court. It would cause the child alot of grief and stress too.

    I stand behind my previous comments that what you are suggesting is often not in the best interests of the child, is expensive and is open to abuse. Let the system stand as it does. That the court is only involved in a case of dead lock.
    Good points but I would assume a lot of people can do right by the kids on their own. So in that case the courts can get involved and decide, but if everyone assumed that 50/50 care was the expected then they may be able to work it out instead if not and one parent thinks its not good for their situation they can go to court and can be worked out there.

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    So it's only ok to move them away when the father doesn't care? That's giving the non custodial parent ultimate power.

  6. #155
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    And if your ex changed his mind LMF? And yes, I know it is unlikely before you say anything but consider the hypothetical. it could go to court and a judge who thinks it should be 50/50 no matter what could force you to return despite the children having built a good life.

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  8. #156
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ana Gram View Post
    And if your ex changed his mind LMF? And yes, I know it is unlikely before you say anything but consider the hypothetical. it could go to court and a judge who thinks it should be 50/50 no matter what could force you to return despite the children having built a good life.
    As always, a very valid point

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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    So it's only ok to move them away when the father doesn't care? That's giving the non custodial parent ultimate power.
    I guess the way I see it is I chose to have children with a person so its the cards I dealt myself. If I didnt ever want to have to deal with someone no matter what life throws me then well I shouldnt have had kids with them. Right or wrong that is how I feel.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ana Gram View Post
    And if your ex changed his mind LMF? And yes, I know it is unlikely before you say anything but consider the hypothetical. it could go to court and a judge who thinks it should be 50/50 no matter what could force you to return despite the children having built a good life.
    Guess that is what I face if it happens. Like i said though in a previous post that if one parent has a valid reason and it is supported by professionals then the court could always go against it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Stiflers Mom View Post
    Of course they did!! Move to an exciting new country OR leave their primary carer??? Most kids would choose the way your kids did. That's what we are trying to explain to you
    Actually my 16 year old thought about not coming. We even talked about her staying with my mom or my ex. She then did research on Australia and talked to people and decided she will come over for a year and see how she goes if not she could go back. We didnt force our children to do anything so your theory of any child would choose to go is wrong.

  10. #158
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lovemyfam View Post
    I guess the way I see it is I chose to have children with a person so its the cards I dealt myself. If I didnt ever want to have to deal with someone no matter what life throws me then well I shouldnt have had kids with them. Right or wrong that is how I feel.
    Oh geeze. Not everyone sets out to have a child with someone. Lots of children are 'accidents'. So your thoughts of 'shouldn't have had a child with them' are not fully thought through.

    Guess that is what I face if it happens. Like i said though in a previous post that if one parent has a valid reason and it is supported by professionals then the court could always go against it.
    I guess it depends on what is considered a 'valid' reason. There have been many incidents of women being forced to move back to where their ex is despite not having family support and few opportunities. Is it right for a child to live in poverty simply because the non custodial parent wants 50/50 custody? I don't believe it is.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ana Gram View Post
    Oh geeze. Not everyone sets out to have a child with someone. Lots of children are 'accidents'. So your thoughts of 'shouldn't have had a child with them' are not fully thought through.



    I guess it depends on what is considered a 'valid' reason. There have been many incidents of women being forced to move back to where their ex is despite not having family support and few opportunities. Is it right for a child to live in poverty simply because the non custodial parent wants 50/50 custody? I don't believe it is.
    Yes two of my children were accidents as I was on BC when I got pregnant. I still had a choice to have them or not I dont believe abortion is for me so ultimately I made the choice. I know a lot of people wont think that way and thats fine.

    No kids shouldnt have to do that but that is where the courts and professionals would step in I am not saying make every custodial parent go to the whim of the non custodial parent at all.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lovemyfam View Post
    I guess the way I see it is I chose to have children with a person so its the cards I dealt myself. If I didnt ever want to have to deal with someone no matter what life throws me then well I shouldnt have had kids with them. Right or wrong that is how I feel.
    I think you missed my point. Which is that according to your rationale, it's ok to move your kids a long way from their father and to sever contact if he is ok with it, but if he isn't you can't. That gives the non custodial parent all the say. What if he still hadn't seen the kids for years, but when you asked he say no freakin way?
    Last edited by Mod-xkwzit; 15-12-2012 at 14:48. Reason: unnecessary

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