Chew the Mintie (14-12-2012)
To answer the OP, I really don't feel comfortable with the idea of 50/50 care. I'm sure it can work, but reading some of the replies from people who were in that situation as kids has really put me off. I personally think it's better if the kids have a main home and see the other parent regularly.
DS goes to his dad's house every weekend, and if I have a family celebration on or something to take him to then I can have him on those days. It works well for us and DS never goes more than 5 nights without seeing his dad. ExH and DS have a very strong bond and exH is a very good father so I never have to worry, plus we do get along well which helps.
DD goes to FOB's house every second weekend (different dad to DS), and at 14 months she has just started overnight stays and it's going really well. This situation works well for everyone and I'm happy with how well DD is coping.
I guess people are talking about situations in which they never feel warmth or fondness or attraction
I pretty much hated my XH by the time I left.
Yep CTM. Another element is s.ex. If you are still in a relationship despite not feeling attraction or love, there can be pressure of s.ex to deal with. That was the entire 3 years for me until I couldn't take it anymore.
That isnt entirely fair because in most cases when its the mother at home with the kids the father is at work providing for his family. But I'm referring to fathers that share the caring and are very hands on. Such as my dh, we both work, we both cook and clean, we both run around after the kids, we are both very active with them, we both get up to sick kids at night, we do everything 50/50 so if we ever split (thankfully we never would because we love each other dearly still after 18yrs together) he would have a right to have the kids 50/50 in my opinion. That's only fair.
This is sad. Is anyone able to effectively co-parent with their ex in order to raise a healthy and happy child? (not blaming mums where it doesn't work, it takes 2 to tango).
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