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  1. #181
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stiflers Mom View Post
    Your situation is different in that your DS is growing up with the (future) bio-children, it would seem off if he was treated differently as he IS fully involved with the family.
    Yeah I know, that's my point hence why I would be angry/hurt.

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  3. #182
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    Default Learn your place?

    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    Yeah I know, that's my point hence why I would be angry/hurt.
    Understandable!
    How's this... DH's Aunty buys presents for his ex's new children she had with her new partner.
    My head explodes.

  4. #183
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    Quote Originally Posted by faroutbrusselsprout View Post
    Understandable!
    How's this... DH's Aunty buys presents for his ex's new children she had with her new partner.
    My head explodes.
    haha that's sweet really, but no not to be expected. I expect absolutely nothing from my DS's dad's side of the family for mine and DP's future biological children. Two separate entities. Just as I couldn't imagine my parents buying FOB's children with his partner presents...actually maybe they would...but that's a whole other vent thread!!!!

  5. #184
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    Quote Originally Posted by Deserama View Post
    Ooooh nooo big no no! I'd profer they didn't get anything for anybody!
    Yeah better just have gotten them nothing, and not invited us over for a family Christmas.

    Quote Originally Posted by faroutbrusselsprout View Post
    Was your ex the father of your children?
    So technically they were buying for their grandchild (your step son) and a small present for their step grandchildren??

    Is that correct?
    No the ex was a bio parent so basically yes they bought for their grandchild and my kids were step grand children.

    Quote Originally Posted by ourbradybunch View Post
    My MIL did this in my house & man I was gutted for my kids, especially since it was in OUR house & totally shoved in their faces.

    Just 1 more issue I have with her. I make a point of everything being fair for all the kids in my house, so sick of a$$holes outside of our house causing dramas
    It hurt me, they would also say "oh theres my boy and dote all over him" then look at my kids and say oh hi it hurts when you see your kids hurt or treated like some un-wanted fungus growing in the kitchen.

    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    I'd be heartbroken for DS if he had to watch his half/step siblings or cousins open great presents and be thrown a cheap and nasty $2 gift.
    It was hard to not just flip out on them.

    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    No I don't think so, that was the impression I got from LMF's post though - that her children were given junk while the others got nice toys. Seems like a bit of a kick in the teeth giving them a piece of crap, while giving the others nice things. Why bother at all?
    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    I guess if the stepson is okay with it, whatever floats your boat. My in laws see us a handful of times per year, but still treat DS as a grandson and spend accordingly at xmas/birthdays.

    I'm just picturing a family gathering where one child is given cheap and nasty toys, while the others open really good ones. It sounds off, and I'd hurt for DS.
    Thats what this was, they made a huge deal wbout getting together as a family and having christmas together.

    I mean watching him open present after present and my kids not understanding. My son who was 5 at the time (more around the mental age of 3 or 4) asked is mine next, each time a present was passed you would see his little hand go up thinking it was for him, yes they passed the presents to one of my kids to pass to SS I wanted to slap them but I didnt I just walked outside and cried.

    Yes my kids have their own grand parents but we had to move across the states (3k miles away) to help her mother because she had a stroke, we sold our house gave away everything we owned and only took what kids stuff we could fit into a van. So they didnt see my mother, she did mail them presents and she always included my SS she never skimped on his presents and got him nice things just like she did my kids.

  6. #185
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    Default Learn your place?

    I could see my ex's mother and sister being like that FOBS.

    My ex MIL wants me to have more babies. They won't be related to her biologically but I think she wouldn't care. She'd fuss over it anyway. I also think Ex SIL would be similar.

    It's really nice to know that people like that are in your life... They don't care about you just cos you're related... They care cos they're lovely people.

    I wish I could swap them for DP's family. Lol.

  7. #186
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    Quote Originally Posted by SassyMummy View Post
    I wish I could swap them for DP's family. Lol.
    I hope this doesn't sound weird, but your DP's family are who sprung to mind during this conversation. I get this awful feeling that your DD will be treated differently to your DP's and your biological children. That's what I feel bad about.

    I can understand that some situations are different, that fobs family barely know this boy and he has a family of his own to spoil him over xmas and the likely scenario is that he is with his other side of the family being cared for and spoiled rotten. That I totally understand!!

    I don't quite get big family functions as LMF mentioned where one child is spoiled but others invited but treated differently. A child being at his mum's house over xmas so not receiving a gift makes sense, being invited and then being given a $2 toy - nonsense! Just as I am not technically 'part' of DP's family (not biologically and not even through marriage) I am not invited to their dos and leave with $2 gifts haha.

  8. #187
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    Lovemyfam - I would have been devastated for your children! What an awful thing to do to children! They're just kids.

    I'm lucky in that dh's parents see my kids as their grandchildren, When people ask how many grandkids they've got, they always include mine. I'm not the only one either dh's brother married a woman who already had 3 children...so the grandparents include mine and her children...so that's SEVEN children that aren't biologically related to them that they gladly have adopted. They don't buy presents for every single one of them for every single occasion either. They actually don't see them a whole lot, but if we're all together for a family event like christmas then my kids are always included.

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  10. #188
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    Quote Originally Posted by Deserama View Post
    Lovemyfam - I would have been devastated for your children! What an awful thing to do to children! They're just kids.

    I'm lucky in that dh's parents see my kids as their grandchildren, When people ask how many grandkids they've got, they always include mine. I'm not the only one either dh's brother married a woman who already had 3 children...so the grandparents include mine and her children...so that's SEVEN children that aren't biologically related to them that they gladly have adopted. They don't buy presents for every single one of them for every single occasion either. They actually don't see them a whole lot, but if we're all together for a family event like christmas then my kids are always included.
    My mom is the same way she takes in step kids no problems and loves them all very much. The kids were just confused they were 5,7,9 years old I cant believe I cried but it hurt me so bad to see those little faces I mean the gifts they got were

    5 year old got a generic hot wheel
    the 7 year old got a knock off barbie
    the 9 year old got a notebook with puppies on it

    The presents I remember SS getting was

    2 huge boxes of Magnetics (my 5 year olds favorite thing at that time) and a Nintendo DS, my SS aunt also took SS to the mall and christmas light displayed which he promptly told the kids how great it was when he got home.

    God the more I talk about these things the more I hate my ex total biatch

  11. #189
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    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    I hope this doesn't sound weird, but your DP's family are who sprung to mind during this conversation. I get this awful feeling that your DD will be treated differently to your DP's and your biological children. That's what I feel bad about.
    Oh they will so try that on. But if they do, they can go to hell and see NONE of the kids. I think MIL might be a bit fairer, so long as SIL doesn't get in her ear... but I want SIL to have as little do with any of my children as possible... she can have sweet F/A to do with any child I have with her brother. She's not a nice person, she's not a good role model, she's just horrid and I don't want her having much to do with any children I have.

    I am totally prepared to pull rank, and have already dropped a few comments when watching TV or something... even just making up fictional people to b*tch about... "Oh, my friend... blah blah." Then add in the step-child getting treated like crap story... show my absolute disgust. Do a "that's so unfair and I can't believe what kind of horrible people would treat a child like that!" and leave it there. I have my rant and rave about fictional people, but I'm hoping the message gets across that I will never put up with that BS.

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