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  1. #171
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    Quote Originally Posted by HugsBunny View Post
    I don't think FOBS SS would be there for a big family gathering.
    No I don't think so, that was the impression I got from LMF's post though - that her children were given junk while the others got nice toys. Seems like a bit of a kick in the teeth giving them a piece of crap, while giving the others nice things. Why bother at all?

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  3. #172
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    Default Learn your place?

    Quote Originally Posted by HugsBunny View Post
    I don't think FOBS SS would be there for a big family gathering.
    Bingo.

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    Default Learn your place?

    Personally i do think it lacks class and I hope nobody gets hurt feelings

  5. #174
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chew the Mintie View Post
    Personally i do think it lacks class and I hope nobody gets hurt feelings
    Nope. Everyone's ok.
    Because that's the way it's always been. SS wouldn't know any different.
    He's very appreciative of the present they do buy him.

  6. #175
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chew the Mintie View Post
    Far our Brussel sprouts I've been sympathetic to your feelings on all this but for a grandparent to buy a different value gift for their grandchild than their step grand child is At best thoughtless and at worst Petty and cruel
    Not really, he already has two sets of grandparents of his own (presumably).

    I think it's completely different in FOBs situation, as the step son lives separately and has a whole different life outside of her home.

  7. #176
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    I guess I wouldn't expect my son's father's parents to buy mine and DP's (hypothetical) biological child presents. With any luck they will never, EVER cross paths (we can only hope).

    If my DP's parents treated DS differently though, that would cut deep. Yes, DS has his own grandparents, but DP and I raise him together and no differently to a bio child of our own. He is a part of me, and DP willingly moved in with me with the intention of having a family. If he was treated as a second rate citizen I'd be peeved, but thankfully in my case it's a non-issue.

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  9. #177
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    Default Learn your place?

    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    I guess I wouldn't expect my son's father's parents to buy mine and DP's (hypothetical) biological child presents. With any luck they will never, EVER cross paths (we can only hope).

    If my DP's parents treated DS differently though, that would cut deep. Yes, DS has his own grandparents, but DP and I raise him together and no differently to a bio child of our own. He is a part of me, and DP willingly moved in with me with the intention of having a family. If he was treated as a second rate citizen I'd be peeved, but thankfully in my case it's a non-issue.
    My SS isn't treated as a second rate citizen!
    He doesn't live with us and has therefore developed a completely, seperate relationship with my family than my own children.
    He gets "treated" differently because he is?
    And I say that without malice. I just don't understand the logic of where it should stop?
    Should they ring him on his birthday? Put him in their will?
    Include him in their photos of their grandchildren?
    A grandparent relationship didn't develop and they shouldn't be called petty or cruel for that fact.

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  11. #178
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    I didn't call anyone petty or cruel, I mentioned that my DS would be made to feel second rate because he has grown up knowing my DP's parents as his other grandparents. If they suddenly decided that they now have biological grandchildren so he can have cheaper/less presents despite the fact DP treats him as his own child, yes I'd be extremely angry.

    I did mention that I do not expect FOB's parents to buy my and DP's biological children presents *shudder* and I do not believe this is treating them as less, but because the two are completely separate.

  12. #179
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    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    I didn't call anyone petty or cruel, I mentioned that my DS would be made to feel second rate because he has grown up knowing my DP's parents as his other grandparents. If they suddenly decided that they now have biological grandchildren so he can have cheaper/less presents despite the fact DP treats him as his own child, yes I'd be extremely angry.

    I did mention that I do not expect FOB's parents to buy my and DP's biological children presents *shudder* and I do not believe this is treating them as less, but because the two are completely separate.
    Your situation is different in that your DS is growing up with the (future) bio-children, it would seem off if he was treated differently as he IS fully involved with the family.

  13. #180
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    Default Learn your place?

    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    I didn't call anyone petty or cruel, I mentioned that my DS would be made to feel second rate because he has grown up knowing my DP's parents as his other grandparents. If they suddenly decided that they now have biological grandchildren so he can have cheaper/less presents despite the fact DP treats him as his own child, yes I'd be extremely angry.

    I did mention that I do not expect FOB's parents to buy my and DP's biological children presents *shudder* and I do not believe this is treating them as less, but because the two are completely separate.
    Sorry. No, I know you didn't. I was referring to a PP.
    I agree with you and was just pointing out that the two situations are very very different.
    DH's family treat my DS as their own and exactly the same as our biological children because of the relationships that have developed so I totally get what you're saying.

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