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  1. #151
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kimberleygal1 View Post
    I also don't think the child could not know! I feel quite sad for the step child tbh.
    If ever I was in the situation of meeting someone the realtionship sure as hell wouldn't go any further unless I knew that person accepted and adored my children. They would always come first.
    Me too. When I met DH that was the FIRST thing I said. I made sure he understood that I had children and that they come first and we were a package deal. If he loved me he loved them. If he didn't love them - he was gone! No ifs buts or maybes. No way no how was I going to be with someone who didn't at least love my children...even a little bit! No live isn't all roses but I sure as eggs wasn't going to be with someone who couldn't even warm to the very part of me that was the centre of my whole universe!.

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    Cleigh  (12-12-2012),HugsBunny  (12-12-2012),purpdirewytch  (12-12-2012)

  3. #152
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    Quote Originally Posted by ermergerd View Post
    Why is it that we HAVE to like a child just because its a child. Everyone bangs on about how children are people too blah blah blah well guess what. I dont like all people and I dont like all children. Just because they are a child doesnt mean we have to instantly love them. FOBs is in a situation where yep she doesnt love her step child not only is it NORMAL ( any family counselor would agree ) its perfectly fine and I dont think demonising her for it helps anything.

    Is she cruel to the boy? No. Is she mean or nasty and treating him liek the next harry potter? No. She doesnt have to love him hes not her child.
    I wouldn't demonise my dh I just wouldn't be with him. Yes perfectly understandable that he wouldn't 'love' my children just as it would be perfectly understandable that this woudln't have been acceptable by me and we would have parted ways.

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  5. #153
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    I must admit I would question my DP's love for me if he didn't love DS, DS is a part of me. I get that it's different for other families though, esp where they don't live there fulltime.

    I'm pretty tough to date though, one guy I was dating gave me an inkling that he wasn't ready for a family, and I felt a bit off about how he felt about DS. Out!

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  7. #154
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    Quote Originally Posted by Deserama View Post
    Me too. When I met DH that was the FIRST thing I said. I made sure he understood that I had children and that they come first and we were a package deal. If he loved me he loved them. If he didn't love them - he was gone! No ifs buts or maybes. No way no how was I going to be with someone who didn't at least love my children...even a little bit! No live isn't all roses but I sure as eggs wasn't going to be with someone who couldn't even warm to the very part of me that was the centre of my whole universe!.
    This is the same as me, when my DH and I started talking he asked what I was looking for in a guy I said something I most likely wont find most important is someone who can love my kids and take them on like their own I knew that was a hard thing to find so was prepared to be single because I didnt want to subject my kids to someone who wasnt going to love them or was going to treat them differently to any kids we had together. Luckly I found it and he loves the children and took them on no problem. We went through a rough patch with the kids acting out and I told him that I wouldnt blame him if he wanted to leave because the kids were having some issues from some things they say while staying with my BM and he said no way these our are kids and this is our problem we will work it out together.

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  9. #155
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lovemyfam View Post
    This is the same as me, when my DH and I started talking he asked what I was looking for in a guy I said something I most likely wont find most important is someone who can love my kids and take them on like their own I knew that was a hard thing to find so was prepared to be single because I didnt want to subject my kids to someone who wasnt going to love them or was going to treat them differently to any kids we had together. Luckly I found it and he loves the children and took them on no problem. We went through a rough patch with the kids acting out and I told him that I wouldnt blame him if he wanted to leave because the kids were having some issues from some things they say while staying with my BM and he said no way these our are kids and this is our problem we will work it out together.
    Like don't get me wrong I didn't expect dh to love them like his own (at least treat them equally though) but to love them like he would love a frien? But just to love that part of me. My life revolved around them. If he couldnt' love them, then he didn't deserve to be in my life.

  10. #156
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    Quote Originally Posted by Deserama View Post
    Like don't get me wrong I didn't expect dh to love them like his own (at least treat them equally though) but to love them like he would love a frien? But just to love that part of me. My life revolved around them. If he couldnt' love them, then he didn't deserve to be in my life.
    Yes when I think equality I think that is in treatment. Not having rules for these kids then separate rules for any other kids.

  11. #157
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lovemyfam View Post
    Yes when I think equality I think that is in treatment. Not having rules for these kids then separate rules for any other kids.
    Yup! Or showering one child with gifts at christmas but only giving the others one. Or allowing money to be spent on one child and not the other. Things like that.

  12. #158
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    Quote Originally Posted by Deserama View Post
    Yup! Or showering one child with gifts at christmas but only giving the others one. Or allowing money to be spent on one child and not the other. Things like that.
    Yes exactly, my ex's parents bought my step son 10 expensive gifts, and bought each one of my kids 1 gift from the dollar store it ****ed me right off and my ex saw nothing wrong with it. I couldnt believe nothing was said.

  13. #159
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lovemyfam View Post
    Yes exactly, my ex's parents bought my step son 10 expensive gifts, and bought each one of my kids 1 gift from the dollar store it ****ed me right off and my ex saw nothing wrong with it. I couldnt believe nothing was said.
    Ooooh nooo big no no! I'd profer they didn't get anything for anybody!

  14. #160
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    Default Learn your place?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lovemyfam View Post
    Yes exactly, my ex's parents bought my step son 10 expensive gifts, and bought each one of my kids 1 gift from the dollar store it ****ed me right off and my ex saw nothing wrong with it. I couldnt believe nothing was said.
    Was your ex the father of your children?
    So technically they were buying for their grandchild (your step son) and a small present for their step grandchildren??

    Is that correct?


 

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