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  1. #31
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    London is offline “I think we're losing our sense of humor instead of being able to relax and laugh at ourselves" - Betty White
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lovemyfam View Post
    What if your son wanted to call dp daddy or say that's my dad would you allow it?
    No, Id remind him he has a dad who is actively involved in his life and that DP is his stepdad. Id say he can come up with some other name to call him if he wants to. If FOB wasnt actively involved it might be different, but in my situation FOB is involved and we are on good terms.

    I dont know how to handle the future when I have this baby and it calls DP 'dad' and will no doubt wonder why its 'brother' is calling him a different name. In a weird twist I would want DS and this child to consider each other brothers or brother/sister and not 'half' ...I in turn would have no problem if the situation were reversed and FOB had a long term partner and had a child with them and wanted them to not use the 'half' title.

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  3. #32
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    Forgot to say, DP would never allow or encourage DS to call him dad/daddy. DP will say 'my boy' when talking about DS to other people (because its easier) but never infront of FOB out of respect.

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    Default What should kids call step parents

    I hate when SD asks why aren't I allowed to call you mum, I feel so damn bad.

    We recently had some in house kind of disagreeing between the kids talking bout the stepbrother vs real brother & what they actually are, I told them I'd prefer they leave out the step bit as before long they will have a baby in the house who I'm sure they won't appreciate being told is only their step brother/sister.

    It definetly brought it home to them that's for sure.

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    Default What should kids call step parents

    Miss12 calls us by our first names. She has a Mum and a Dad. And we aren't them. I'm happy with that. And more importantly so is she!

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    My step.kids call me by my name but will refer to me as their 'mum' when talking to other people like their friends at school and at the shops etc.
    They live here most of the time though.
    When i had a baby one of my step.kids started calling me mum for a while but reverted back to my name after about 6 months.

    I never made a big deal of it, they know who their bio mum is and they know who I am.

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    Default What should kids call step parents

    I call my dads partner by her name but step-mum when I'm referring to her in a conversation with others or introducing her to others. I don't call my mums partner anything that can be repeated lol

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    Hi Clarissa
    I agree with sassy... it is up to his son as he gets older what he feels comfortable calling you. Currently as he is so young it would be very confusing if he was encouraged to call you mother as well. But it seems that is how you feel as well. As for the daughter... i feel really sorry for her. one day she will find out the truth (and deserves to find out) which could come as a real shock and disrupt her trust of primary figures in her life which could cause greater disruptions down the track. It is a delicate situation one that must be handled appropriately btwn ur fiance and baby mother. She is at an age now whereby age appropriate discussions about it can be had with her. I would suggest ur fiance talk to the mother about this and hopefully they can start talking to the daughter together. And throughout making sure the key msg is how much they both love her.
    I hope this helps x

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    Thanks to everyone thats got involved in this post. My feeling has always been that m and d is reserved for the bio parents. Ofcourse there are always exceptions especially if one parent chooses not to be involved in the childs life. the majority of the replies support this. I am still uncertain about leaving the decision completely with the child though. I am notsuggesting that one should encourage a child either way what I feel is that the decision should not be rushed into and there are a lot of issues to consider ie how secure is your relationship, how actively involved us the bio parent, how old is the child. I just can not agree with a 3or4 yr old deciding something as controversial as this with out the parent considering and weighing up the pros and cons for ALL parties.

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    It hasn't occured to DD to call DP "Dad." She met him when she was 3, her Dad left her life when she was 3.5, and she is now 7.5, so DP has been in her life longer than her own father was, but she's still never called him Dad... which is why I'd leave it up to them to decide. I don't think I need to be involved at all, it's between DP and DD and nobody else.

    She often says she wishes he was her dad, but that's about as far as it's gotten. I've explained that he pretty much is... (and then just have a naughty joke about how she's got the best of both worlds - she gets her cousins/Aunt on her father's side, and doesn't have to refer to DP's horrible SIL as "Aunty," like she would if DP really was her Dad... DD doesn't like SIL).

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    If my DP is in a serious relationship, I think I would be ok with the kids calling her mum, but if not by her first name, maybe "mummy ____".

    I dont know how I feel about it. My 2 year old called my DP the other day "my other daddy" which I found very cute. It was the first time he has referred to DP as his other daddy lol

    But yes, I agree its completely up to the kids with no outside influences.


 

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