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  1. #21
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Default What should kids call step parents

    I call my step-dad by his name with close friends and family but refer to him as dad around others who don't know he is my step-dad. My mother let us choose I was a young teenager at the time.

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    Default Re: What should kids call step parents

    I think Its what the children feel comfortable with. My parents split when I was 16, my dad moved out with the other woman and when I was 19 my mum met her partner. I call step dad by his name because I wasn't a young child (still living at home). But when I talk about him to people outside of the family I call him stepdad.

    I dont refer to my dads partner as anything but her name. But she instantly made her kids call my dad their dad which still at 24 years old hurts to hear. Only because she forced them to call him dad when they didn't want to.

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    Default What should kids call step parents

    Quote Originally Posted by CMF View Post
    If the birth parent plays an active part of the child's life, the step parent should be called by their first name. I think it's terribly disrespectful to have a child call someone else mum or dad when they have one already.

    I also disagree that it should be up to the child (again, if the birth parent is still in their life). A child does not understand that it is disrespectful, they do not understand the politics of it and that feelings could be hurt. So until they are able to understand that, I think it is up to the adults to explain to the child that you do not call so and so 'mum/dad'.
    Why is it disrespectful? We can expect to break up with the other parent and not have another person step into that role. If the child wants to do it they should be able too and anyone who gets hurt needs to toughen up a bit because its the child wishes and if they feel more comfortable with it then its a good thing

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    I honestly do think it should be up to the child. I let my step kids call me whatever they feel comfortable with. Whereas thier bio mum has pushed her new partner onto the boys and that is when I ceased to care. They can call me mum if they like because she thinks its fine to make the boys tell thier father what she made them buy her partner for fathers day when we went to pick them up for said day. Its the kids that should feel comfortable.

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    Default What should kids call step parents

    I think it should be 100% up to the child. If it helps them in even a small way become a more well rounded, have a more connected step parent/kid relationship then it's fine in my books. There should be a way to tell the two apart though. So If both 'mums' are in the room the step mum becomes mum/mummy xyz.
    That being said I think it shouldn't be forced in anyway.

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    I can understand why people would imagine it to be hurtful for the bio parent to hear another called a name that they believe should be exclusively their own. I still wouldn't tell my child what she can and can't call someone though, even if made me feel weird about it. I'm lucky that I don't have to worry - I'm her custodial parent and her potential "step mother," lives overseas and doesn't give 2 thoughts to my daughter, so I've not had to deal with someone else being called "mum," and never will. I honestly couldn't care less what her father would think if DD started calling DP "Daddy," either... he's not around, his choice, so I couldn't care less about his feelings.

    Quote Originally Posted by Clarissa1 View Post
    at what age should it be up to the child. Children will also choose jelly beans for breakfast.
    Jelly Beans everyday for breakfast is bad for their health. Calling someone "Mum" or "Dad," shockingly enough, is not. I fail to see the correlation you're trying to make.

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    Default What should kids call step parents

    Quote Originally Posted by SassyMummy View Post
    I can understand why people would imagine it to be hurtful for the bio parent to hear another called a name that they believe should be exclusively their own. I still wouldn't tell my child what she can and can't call someone though, even if made me feel weird about it. I'm lucky that I don't have to worry - I'm her custodial parent and her potential "step mother," lives overseas and doesn't give 2 thoughts to my daughter, so I've not had to deal with someone else being called "mum," and never will. I honestly couldn't care less what her father would think if DD started calling DP "Daddy," either... he's not around, his choice, so I couldn't care less about his feelings.



    Jelly Beans everyday for breakfast is bad for their health. Calling someone "Mum" or "Dad," shockingly enough, is not. I fail to see the correlation you're trying to make.

    I could gaurantee my SD mother would lose her s@&t if my SD called me mum.
    I think it's in the child's best interest if they get to decide for themselves

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  10. #28
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    London is offline “I think we're losing our sense of humor instead of being able to relax and laugh at ourselves" - Betty White
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    It used to break my heart when FOBs girlfriend (now ex) would refer to herself as 'mummy' to the DOG that FOB and I both got when we were together and he got to keep when we split. I was his mummy, not her! I can only imagine how furious I would be if I found out someone was telling my human child to call them mummy.

    DP has been in DS life since DS was 1 and he was always called DP by his name. He says "thats my stepdad" (even though we arent married) or "thats *DP name" when referring to him. We have never tried to get DS to call him anything other than his name and never would.

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    Default What should kids call step parents

    Quote Originally Posted by London View Post
    It used to break my heart when FOBs girlfriend (now ex) would refer to herself as 'mummy' to the DOG that FOB and I both got when we were together and he got to keep when we split. I was his mummy, not her! I can only imagine how furious I would be if I found out someone was telling my human child to call them mummy.

    DP has been in DS life since DS was 1 and he was always called DP by his name. He says "thats my stepdad" (even though we arent married) or "thats *DP name" when referring to him. We have never tried to get DS to call him anything other than his name and never would.
    What if your son wanted to call dp daddy or say that's my dad would you allow it?

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    Default What should kids call step parents

    Quote Originally Posted by ourbradybunch View Post
    I could gaurantee my SD mother would lose her s@&t if my SD called me mum.
    I think it's in the child's best interest if they get to decide for themselves
    Well luckily it not your problem and non of her business what your step kiss call you . Bio parents can't have say in everything and trying to micro manage children is going to only harm the children


 

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