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  1. #11
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    at what age should it be up to the child. Children will also choose jelly beans for breakfast.

  2. #12
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    Default What should kids call step parents

    I am not ok with anyone else other than bio parents being called mum/dad.

    However it does cause a bit of an issue as my very adored bonus child does ask me why she isn't allowed to call me mum😰

  3. #13
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    Default What should kids call step parents

    A girl I used to work with forced her 6 year old stepdaughter to call her "Mummy Sarah" - I thought that was horrible and confusing for the child. I can just imagine what a dragon of a stepmother she would have been, that poor little girl!

  4. #14
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    In my little family my first 2 children are not biologically my df's.
    he has helped raise them since they were little as their bio dad was violent 2 me and we left, he took off after a while, then came in and out of their life whenever he felt like and having drugs and alcohol around my children, til we had, had enough. which didn't take very long. for the safety and well being of my children we told him no more. he will have nothing to do with my children anymore, that he had made his decision what was more important and we moved on.
    soon, without any encouragement the kids started 2 call df daddy.
    we accepted that that's what they saw him as and they still do 2day.
    my children know the truth that he is not their biological dad and that they had a different dad when they were babies. for now they have said they just want df in their life and they don't want 2 know "bio"
    ds is getting curious. but df is his world just as he is df world. we have a 15mo buba 2getha
    our family just works this way.

  5. #15
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    Default What should kids call step parents

    Quote Originally Posted by Clarissa1 View Post
    at what age should it be up to the child. Children will also choose jelly beans for breakfast.
    DSS would have been about 4 when he started calling me mum. And even then he started, then reverted back to my first name for 6 months or so and then started calling me mum again and has ever since. His dad and I have been living together since he was 18 months old.

    His mum has only been with his step dad for the last 3 years and DSS has only just started calling him dad in the last 6 months. His mum had being engaged to someone else for about the 4 years before that but he didn't call him dad. I guess it just comes down to how secure he feels with it all.

    Both times were 100% his choice, no one asked him too or insisted that he do it.

  6. #16
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    Default What should kids call step parents

    My step daughter refers to me as my name but to other people she will tell them I'm her step mum lol
    It will be interesting to see if she starts calling me mum now she has a little sister

  7. #17
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    Default Re: What should kids call step parents

    My son choose his name for my ex dp when he was a little over 1. He started to call him 'hey hey'. A couple of times he tried to call him daddy and we corrected ds saying this is hey hey, you see daddy in a couple weeks etc etc.

    I've been separated from exdp for 6 months, he still sees him regularly, and still calls him hey hey

    Strangely i really don't care of he calls anyone else mum. I fully expected him to call exdh's girlfriend mum since she already had a little boy who would be calling her mum around him. He wouldn't talk about her at all with me though, so don't really know.

    Spent from my dome. Excuse autocorrect
    Last edited by Izy; 08-12-2012 at 09:21.

  8. #18
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    Default What should kids call step parents

    My DS1 calls DH Dad. As he has very limited contact with his interstate bio father. I met DH when DS was 14mths so hasn't known any different. He chose to call him Dad just over 2yrs old.
    My step son calls me by my name. No way would I feel comfortable being called anything else!

  9. #19
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    I think it depends on circumstances and how the child feels. My circumstance is pretty different from most people as my ex is happy to not get in the way of my parenting or anything else, he trusts I will always do the best for the kids. He also doesnt see them by his choice. The only odd one out is my 6 year old who is a product of an assult so to protect her I left the state and she has no clue about any of it she calls my husband her dad. No doubt she will soon figure it out because she is half black and we are both white but for now it works.

    My 16 year old calls him by his first name mostly but when talking to other people she calls him her dad and sometimes goes through phases of calling him dad.

    my 15 year old is the same except she has never called him dad when speaking to him.

    my 12 year old calls him dad full time as does my 6 year old

    I think it really is up to the kids. I would love for them to all call him dad and so would he but he and I think that its their choice.

    The older 3 call their bio dad by his first name when talking about him but call him Dad when they talk to him (which I think has been maybe 3 times in the last 11 years) that to me is a respect thing I hate it when kids call their parents by their first name.

    My step son from my last relationship called me by my first name always and I was around when he was 2 and my kids all called my ex by her first name that was tricky though because they didnt want to have to explain 2 moms at school but they called each other brother and sister so I think people figured it out easily enough. lol
    Last edited by Lovemyfam; 08-12-2012 at 10:22.

  10. #20
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    If the birth parent plays an active part of the child's life, the step parent should be called by their first name. I think it's terribly disrespectful to have a child call someone else mum or dad when they have one already.

    I also disagree that it should be up to the child (again, if the birth parent is still in their life). A child does not understand that it is disrespectful, they do not understand the politics of it and that feelings could be hurt. So until they are able to understand that, I think it is up to the adults to explain to the child that you do not call so and so 'mum/dad'.


 

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