Sorry that you are going through this and i hope he is being honest. It does seem pretty suss though and i agree with the pp why did he go home and then have to go get petrol? If you were upset he shouldnt have made it like a joke so to me he seems to be deflecting or avoiding the questions. Hope you sort this out.
He didn't take his car to work today he took my mums for a service so i see why he would get petrol because it was really cheap today. I checked his phone when he got back and his last dialled number was me so unless there is some way of deleting your last contact i don't think he would call her. I am really good friends with her mum too and he knows this (i used to work with her too) so saying she was there I can easily find that out. I don't know now i think I am just going to have to come out and aak him straight up and i will know if he is lying.
Some guys do try to diffuse stressful or emotional situations by making jokes or changing the subject too. Not all guys are completely ib tune with emotions. Only the OP knows if this applies to him though. I know when im emotional or worked up about something there is often nothing my husband could say to make me feel better or calm me down. He knows this, he also knows when im wound up emotionally and spoiling for a fight and in those situations he'll often try to lighten or change the subject, or even walk away. He sometimes finds it hard to cope with my emotions, maybe OPs partner is a bit like this?
And I have to say that if I wasn't cheating and my husband accused me of it I'd likely get a bit stroppy and defensive. Being defensive doesn't *always* mean something is up.
She was already worried that's why she made a post on a parenting forum.This poor guy if he isnt cheating because his wife is getting her head filled with a lot and he may be completely innocent but things like this are going to make her paranoid now.
But as I said, I could be wrong. It could all be a misunderstanding and dealt badly by him. Either way, he needs to pull his head in and listen to his wife who is obviously going through a hard time right now.
There's no way to know at this point what happened.
I wouldn't be thinking, "he's cheating!" because all the 'evidence' for that could also just be coincidence... but I wouldn't be thinking he's definitely not either. I'd keep my eyes and ears open wide and see if anything else might lead you to believe he's cheating, or believe he's not. I'd ask him questions to help further that investigation, and judge not just what he says but how he says them, the body language he conveys whilst answering etc. See how it makes you feel...
I'd just keep gathering info until I was satisfied either way tbh.
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