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  1. #11
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    She sounds like a trouble maker. He may not even have gone over there on Wed at all. He may have been telling the truth about just waiting at the dr. You won't know til you ask him. Try not to get angry til you find out his side. He may have just popped in straight from work, then gone to the dr. It may be a non event. Or it may not have happened at all.

    Talk to him as calmly as possible and hopefully its nothing to worry about.

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  3. #12
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    Is he the kind of knight in shinny armour guy (my dh is, as in he would stop and help any one/woman in distress)?
    Is the dr thing a big deal that he may have been so caught up in that that he forgot to tell you?

  4. #13
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    LifeInShadesOfGrey is offline Just a little bit silly :)
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    Default Does he have something to hide?

    Quote Originally Posted by LilMuffin View Post
    i know it could be as innocent as looking at her car but honestly do women ask there mechanic to come over after hours to look at their cars?
    If it makes you feel better it does happen. I have several mechanic friends and for example if I get stuck with my car (for something I can't do myself), it always results in after hours work on cars with pizza or other type of food for dinner as payment.

    Nothing suspicious about it at all.

    However if she's just a client and not a friend. Just ask him calmly what's up. As I said it might of been a last minute thing and he said don't worry about money so she wanted to get him alcohol as a thanks. Or she could be just stirring the pot.

    Try not to stress until you can talk to him.

    Let us know how you go.

  5. #14
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    I think sometimes when you over think things they can seem really fishy but you wont know till you ask like others have stated.

  6. #15
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    well he rang me about a totally unrelated thing (we got approval for a loan to build our new house) he could tell i was short with him and he asked what was wrong. i said what did you do on Wed night? He sighed and said he had been to her house, I didn't want to go in to any more detail over the phone because we have been together for 11 years and i know when he is lying so want to talk face to face.

    To answer some questions yes he knew we were friends, yes i told him what she had said about him to which he laughed and admitted at the time he was flattered. I had said to him I didn't like him helping her out outside of hours because he has done it before. Yes he likes to help everyone and to be honest it annoys the crap out of me, he always puts me last if i need anything because he doesn't like letting people down. He lets me down all the time and knows i will accept it because I love him. I have spoken to him on so many occassions that he needs to come home at a reasonable hour on a work night because I need help with DD but he does it for a few days and then retreats to his onld ways. He finishes work at 5 and works about 30 mins away he is never home before 6.30 and out of the 4 nights so far has been later than 6.30 three times. He goes to his mums or helps a friend or goes to this girls house. I can understand someone being stranded and needing help but she was at home she could have called a tow truck. I am sick of other people impeding in our family time and if he cant put his family first for once and for all he can **** off. i did ask him what was wrong with the car and he said it is stuffed, so now i am assuming she is going to get him to help fix it and because she doesn't have much money he will do it after hours for her aggghhhh i am so ****ed. Everyone is always after a favour.

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    Default Does he have something to hide?

    He didn't tell you he was there until you confronted him about it?
    Enough said for me.

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  10. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by LilMuffin View Post
    well he rang me about a totally unrelated thing (we got approval for a loan to build our new house) he could tell i was short with him and he asked what was wrong. i said what did you do on Wed night? He sighed and said he had been to her house, I didn't want to go in to any more detail over the phone because we have been together for 11 years and i know when he is lying so want to talk face to face.

    To answer some questions yes he knew we were friends, yes i told him what she had said about him to which he laughed and admitted at the time he was flattered. I had said to him I didn't like him helping her out outside of hours because he has done it before. Yes he likes to help everyone and to be honest it annoys the crap out of me, he always puts me last if i need anything because he doesn't like letting people down. He lets me down all the time and knows i will accept it because I love him. I have spoken to him on so many occassions that he needs to come home at a reasonable hour on a work night because I need help with DD but he does it for a few days and then retreats to his onld ways. He finishes work at 5 and works about 30 mins away he is never home before 6.30 and out of the 4 nights so far has been later than 6.30 three times. He goes to his mums or helps a friend or goes to this girls house. I can understand someone being stranded and needing help but she was at home she could have called a tow truck. I am sick of other people impeding in our family time and if he cant put his family first for once and for all he can **** off. i did ask him what was wrong with the car and he said it is stuffed, so now i am assuming she is going to get him to help fix it and because she doesn't have much money he will do it after hours for her aggghhhh i am so ****ed. Everyone is always after a favour.
    if he has to work on her car then I would have him do it at your house and she can just have it towed there and then pick it up when its done. Dont get combative, just explain that you cant do this anymore you need him at home when he isnt working tell him what you are feeling and need hope it all works out

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    Default Re: Does he have something to hide?

    DP is a mechanic too. I totally understand how you feel. I do think SHADES OF GREY is spot on.

    If he keeps going around there call him on it straight out. "you know how she feels about you, you know how I feel about her. I have asked you not to go there, under those circumstances why would you be going around there unless it was to upset me or cheat. If that's not the case and her car really needs fixing get her to book it into work."

    Sent from my magical black talky thingy using BubHub

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  13. #19
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    Default Does he have something to hide?

    Sounds like my XH. Everyone else comes first. Hugs.

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    Default Does he have something to hide?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lovemyfam View Post
    if he has to work on her car then I would have him do it at your house and she can just have it towed there and then pick it up when its done.
    I agree with this, get him to do the work (if he has to do it) at your house. Will help give you piece of mind.

    I'll add my DP can put me last a lot of the time, lately in particular he's doing silly long hours for work. It's annoying but he is just one of those guys that likes to help out. You need to find a balance for family time and work time.
    Last edited by LifeInShadesOfGrey; 07-12-2012 at 13:16.

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