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  1. #111
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    Quote Originally Posted by LilMuffin View Post
    I ended up havingh to ask direct questions because as I have said I know when he is lying his face goes all red, he cant look at me and gets a smirk on his face. He has only ever lied about really minor things but i know straight away, he calls it "protecting my feelings". I know he didn't ring her because he doesn't have her number, I have it in my phone and no number matches up. I asked him direct if he was attracted to her and he said absolutely not. I then said did he like the attention he was getting and he said that he was flattered but it would never go any further. I know he is telling the truth because he knows how upset that would make me yet still came clean. I tried roll reversal say if it was me how would he feel he said that he absolutely trusts me 100% but he would feel uneasy knowing that I was there. He admits it is innapropriate for him to go there to look at the car and has promised he won't in the future. He assured me he loved me and me alone and would never cheat, I then talked about wether he was happy. This is where it becomes sad because we have had a very rough 18 months, I have lost 2 babies and basically shut down, i suffered depression and took a break from everything. He said that he could feel the distance between us and felt at times I only wanted to have another baby and that's all I focussed on. He really didn't feel that i was connecting with him. He told me that no matter what challenges we face together he will always be there for me and no one would ever be able to come between us. We recently sold our house because I couldn't live there anymore too many bad memories, but he doesn't blame me for any of it. He said he just really wants me to be happy. So no we are not entirely happy in our marriage at the moment but I don't think he is cheating on me. he wouldn't have opened up like that and then still keep it from me he isn't capable of that, it comes down to wether I can trust him if he breaks that trust then I go from there. It's strange for me because I am not the jealous or insecure type of person that i have come across. He has never given me a reason not to believe him so i am going to have to at this stage. As i said i will be seeing this girl in the next couple of weeks and i will tell her where to go. This is my husband and he is devoted to me so if she is trying to cause trouble I can play that game to. As for the car she came to his work yesterday to pick it up and gave him a bottle of scotch. I might just tip it down the sink lol.
    Thank you for your update!

    It sounds like there has been so much going on at the moment I can easily see how you would have been upset about the possibility of him cheating with this person.

    I am very sorry for your losses....it is a hard hard thing to have to go through and men as try as they might, sometimes they just dont feel that pain as much as we do.

    Can I suggest that maybe you guys go out on a date? Get your DD babysat, get dolled up, go out to a nice restaurant and just spend some quality time together. Even if its just cuddling up on the couch with a couple of movies and takeaway but it sounds like you both need to re-connect with each other again.

    When I lost out 3rd baby....all I could focus on was getting pregnant again. It was all I could think about and it was an incredibly stressful time so I understand how you are feeling.

    I am so glad he opened up....it must make you feel better in that regard and now you both know how each other feels you can both work on your relationsip.

    I wish you all the best and tell this other biatch to f off!

  2. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to FluffyDucks For This Useful Post:

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  3. #112
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    Default Does he have something to hide?

    You sound much more at ease which is the main thing :-)
    You know your husband and your relationship so if your comfortable with everything, than that's all that matters!

    Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy :-)

  4. #113
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    LifeInShadesOfGrey is offline Just a little bit silly :)
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    Default Does he have something to hide?

    I'm glad he explained it all, seriously and so you could gauge his reaction.
    You know your husband best, over everyone. If you think he's telling the truth then great.

    It sounds like a big misunderstanding and I still think she possibly just wanted to get him a thanks for taking his own time to look at the car initially.

    I'm glad you feel more at ease about the situation and you guys can now work on rebuilding your marriage after such a tough time.

    I agree with pp, go out on a date. Just you two and enjoy yourselves.

  5. #114
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    Thankyou everyone that replied it is always good to get another perspective on things when clearly my emotions were all over the place. I am sort of glad this all came to a head last night because I have realised that there are issues that we need to work through. It's funny from an outsiders view people probably think we are so happy because we are having a baby but they don't know the whole backstory as to how we got to this place. All we both really know is that we love eachother so we need to reconnect. We are going out tomorrow night just the two of us so that will be a good start.

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  7. #115
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    Quote Originally Posted by LilMuffin View Post
    I ended up havingh to ask direct questions because as I have said I know when he is lying his face goes all red, he cant look at me and gets a smirk on his face. He has only ever lied about really minor things but i know straight away, he calls it "protecting my feelings". I know he didn't ring her because he doesn't have her number, I have it in my phone and no number matches up. I asked him direct if he was attracted to her and he said absolutely not. I then said did he like the attention he was getting and he said that he was flattered but it would never go any further. I know he is telling the truth because he knows how upset that would make me yet still came clean. I tried roll reversal say if it was me how would he feel he said that he absolutely trusts me 100% but he would feel uneasy knowing that I was there. He admits it is innapropriate for him to go there to look at the car and has promised he won't in the future. He assured me he loved me and me alone and would never cheat, I then talked about wether he was happy. This is where it becomes sad because we have had a very rough 18 months, I have lost 2 babies and basically shut down, i suffered depression and took a break from everything. He said that he could feel the distance between us and felt at times I only wanted to have another baby and that's all I focussed on. He really didn't feel that i was connecting with him. He told me that no matter what challenges we face together he will always be there for me and no one would ever be able to come between us. We recently sold our house because I couldn't live there anymore too many bad memories, but he doesn't blame me for any of it. He said he just really wants me to be happy. So no we are not entirely happy in our marriage at the moment but I don't think he is cheating on me. he wouldn't have opened up like that and then still keep it from me he isn't capable of that, it comes down to wether I can trust him if he breaks that trust then I go from there. It's strange for me because I am not the jealous or insecure type of person that i have come across. He has never given me a reason not to believe him so i am going to have to at this stage. As i said i will be seeing this girl in the next couple of weeks and i will tell her where to go. This is my husband and he is devoted to me so if she is trying to cause trouble I can play that game to. As for the car she came to his work yesterday to pick it up and gave him a bottle of scotch. I might just tip it down the sink lol.
    Glad it got worked out and it makes sense now so he went to her house to check the car and sounds like she then brought it to the shop. That makes sense my brother owns a shop and he would do that a lot and he gets gifts all the time from people to say thanks.

    Hope you can now work on the real issues in the relationship sounds like he is actually a good guy and glad you didnt over react with some of the posts here saying he was cheating. Some people can over think things and get worked up.

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  9. #116
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    I've been following this thread and I'm really glad you guys were able to talk it out.

    I'm sorry for your previous losses OP. Many hugs.

    It sounds like your hubby is a really nice guy.

    Hopefully you guys can move forward together now and reach a truly happy place.

    I wish you the best of luck for the rest of your pregnancy.

    Also, putting the other woman in her place sounds like the right thing.

    :-)

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